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How you know vacation is around the corner.

MissK03's picture

Well we go on vacation next week m-f at cabin on a lake/river 6 hours away. Our original plans were a cruise that clearly got cancelled. 

So what happens now... BM starts contacted the kids more now then she does pretty much all year. This is a trend of hers. Same thing the last two years. 

SO and her haven't exchanged anything in a few months now. Really is no need too because what does she contribute... nothing. So on Monday he texted her about us going (which she knew already because SD said she told her). Her response was asking if quarantine was going to be an issue (she was playing dumb here acting like a concerned parent) he replyed it's not. Like I said , she knows this. 

Every time her and SO exchange texts it leads into her phishing for things to text about. Tuesday she texts "what's the name of the place in case of an emergency?" Aka I want to snoop it out. He tells her. She goes ok have fun. He doesn't reply.


We were eating dinner tonight, (I just made meat sauce and pasta tonight) SD: "'moms calling me for some reason." SD answers and tells her what she is doing. BM asks "what kind of pasta." LOLLLL SD asks us.. I go penne........... aka BM trying to make conversation because in reality knows nothing about her kids...

This will go on for the next week and half. 

Another fun fact about BM I'll add... she lives 10 minutes away and hasn't even had them over for a dinner since May 2018.



Gimlet's picture

"What kind of pasta?  The I'm raising your kids for you, you worthless sack of crap kind."

This would make me insane.  Can't be bothered to care for her own kids but she wants to be all up in your plans like she has some skin in the game.


MissK03's picture

SO and I had a good laugh with the emergency contact text the other day. We were like... OMG BM would you come save us???!!! She hasn't even taken the skids to the doctors/dentist or any other things since SO and her separated in 2011. But yes BM we will for sure call you to come rescue us in case of an emergency. 

Catmom23's picture

My bf's idiot ex never knew who her kids dr and dentist were because she never took them.  One time when school started they were with her the first day when they brought home all the school paperwork.  She called him asking for the names of their dr and dentist.  Idiot.

tog redux's picture

So, here's the trick with that - tell SD vacation plans are a surprise next year! Then tell her the day before you are leaving, for packing purposes.  On the day you leave, send BM the information on where you will be (or whatever is required by the CO to be told to her), and then block her number and go have fun.  

MissK03's picture

I wish we could do that but, next year both SSs will be working so they will need to know. SO feels obligated to tell her about them. Their custody order is pretty plain. SO is primary with joint custody with BM sat/sun every other weekend, but oh wait! It's been two and half years since she has excersised her visition so that equals us full time. And the other thing in there is SO pays 100% of all child needs. Must be nice....

She texts the kids.. in her head she's a good mom. Every year though when we are on vacation she blows up there phones the whole time. I almost lost it on the cruise last year because her constant contact with skids. Texting them all day. Our first dinner on the ship last year SS17 was taking a picture of his dessert and goes "im taking this picture for mom because you two don't answer! (Talking to SD13, SS15) so they start arguing about responding to BM. Mind you, the day before we left I got into a fight with SS17 while at breakfast. We stayed in Florida two nights before our cruise left. 

I was explaining how he has to be on airplane mode etc. he was arguing about it causing a scene so I got up and walked out. He followed me outside and told me I was looking for attention and I was a "f'n loser" yep! You read that correctly. Then the next day he is all sending pics to loser mommy. Then later that night SD was cranky and she got kicked off the WiFi and was all Ike I was responding to mommmm. We ended up leaving the show and SD became hysterical. I was like wtf is happening. 

I was ready to jump ship on day 1. Luckily the rest of the week wasn't too bad after the first two days  

Gimlet's picture

He followed me outside and told me I was looking for attention and I was a "f'n loser"

"I have no idea how he ended up overboard".  That would be the LAST vacation that kid would have ever been on with me.

So BM doesn't pay any CS?  Why does your husband need to communicate with her when she doesn't take the kids at all??  And she lives 10 minutes away, WTF.

MissK03's picture

SO was giving BM $650 a month NOT court ordered for 6 years. When they got divorced she just left they spilt custody and that was that. She never took them 50/50. SO says in the beginning she used to do a little more but not much. When I came along (nov 2015) she was EOWE. She got to bank (spend on herself) all that money SO gave her because she barely bought them anything and he was already paying for everything then too. 

SO makes more then double then BM so he was always afraid of court. Well court happened because of me(feb 2018) but, he needed it. So she thought SO was going after her for child support. It honestly probably wouldn't have been much and the cost of lawyer fees and stuff would have exceeded anything he would have gotten. 

So once BM realized that court was over and she stopped taking skids. 

He tells her about the yearly vacation and she will text him about if an email comes through from a teacher. Other then that they don't talk. Like I said though she does go in waves with attention seeking from SO but, is pretty good with just not replying. 

Sad isn't it?? She takes them out to lunch individual for their bdays every year and that's about it. SDs 13th birthday in April she didn't even give her a card. She came to the house with Dunkin for just her (not the boys) talked to her in the driveway for a few minutes and left. She sent money via PayPal to SO for SDs birthday the next day. I was like soooo she couldn't stop at an atm/store and get SD a card and throw the $100 in???  Nooooo she has to PayPal money instead to get SO to "talk" to her. 


SO sees though that it's about him and not the skids. She finds the smallest things to text about because there is nothing to talk about. 

He wants nothing from her. He wants to raise the kids and that's it.

tog redux's picture

She's not trying to be a "good mom", she's trying to disrupt your vacation.

OK, so tell the kids when you are going, but DH should just ignore BM.

Winterglow's picture

And make it a rule that all phones (including yours) are left in the cabins/rooms during meal times and/or if at a movie/show. Anything less is just rude for all at the table and  other spectators at the events.