My kids when it was just the 3 of us had the run of my room and our home. Now that I am married and stuff, they can be in our room BUT when the door is shut they have to knock and wait for it to be answered either by "come in" or personally walking over there. I do not keep the kids out of our room. My mom did and it just peeked my well why doesn't she want me in there... You know..
I can see that you are just really tired of the interruptions, its all about manners. When you are all talking and he does that charge him a penny, start a jar, its rude of him to do while you are all talking. So teach the boy some manners.. Thats all it is..I can understand your feelings 100%.. Its so rude..
hang in there.. And make the new rules for him and see if it helps..
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

How old is SD? It may be that he is seeking attention and to be a part of what is going on but now is the time to start setting some boundries. What if you and DH are having a "private" moment and SD barges in?? I would call that a big deal. DH needs to understand that women need their own space and couples needs private space. I need space away from the kids at times and even away from DH at times. All the kids in my house know that my room is private and if they need something from my room they ask, if the door is closed they knock. Try talking to DH and assure him that you are not trying to shut SD out but that you need some amount of privacy.

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

SD didn't even have a bed time when I entered the picture. I would say to pray for patience but I did that once and look where I am...lol You have a long road ahead of you if SS has never had rules, hopefully with some new rules and boundries you and DH can create a stable home for SS and things will fall into place. Maybe start simple with a list of things that are not acceptable, not interupting, respecting other's privacy, no TV before homework, etc. You may have to be the one to take the bull by the horns at first and DH will follow. I truly believe that children thrive in homes where limitations are set and followed. Good luck missangie.

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

When I entered the picture, both SDs had no table manners at all. They ate everything with their fingers, including salad, and picked up everything to sniff it before they ate it. I insisted that they use a knife and fork for EVERYTHING they ate if I was at the table. (My MIL got so mad at me - "they should be able to relax at home" - that she started eating with HER fingers! I told her they could relax when I could take them out in public without being embarrassed.) Anyway, DH and I agreed that we had to do something because that kind of behavior just isn't tolerated in public situations. It took a while, but both of them learned.

You have the same problem, only with interruptions. You would be doing him no favors if you don't work on correcting that. He will get in trouble in school for not waiting his turn and he certainly won't be fit to take to a public place if he doesn't know when to stay quiet. The penny idea is a good one, but you could also use minutes of TV or game time, too.

As for the room, I agree with you. That is your personal space. At the very least, he should learn to knock and wait, but he should not be going through your stuff. You could try doing the same to him - go to his room and go through his drawers and closet. That might make him think twice.

Good luck and hang in there!
marika

and wants to be part of the family. my SD does it all the time, and yes, sometimes I wish there was a 'mute' button. I would explain to your SS how conversations work. How if he has a question he should wait for a pause and not interrupt. Then you'll have to correct him for the next million times he interupts. It will take a lot of patience on your part and it will be much better if DH does most of the 'gentle correcting'. Be sure to schedule some alone time for you and DH so you don't get resentful!

or at least that is how it seems. My SD does the same thing, usually in the car. When I am talking to DH she always interupts and asks questions about what we are talking about and it drives me crazy. What helps me is remembering that I was like that once too-I wanted to know everything that my mom was talking about. I have tried telling SD that if you are going to listen to other people's conversations you can't interupt but I don't think she can help herself. Luckily for us if I tell her that "I am talking to your dad" she understands that to mean that she isn't part of the conversation and if she wants to hear it she had better be a quiet as she can. As for the room thing, we went through that too. SD was used to walking into DH's room whenever she wanted and even sleeping in there some nights. When I moved in I put a stop to that out right. I told her that if she wanted to come in (whether the door was open or not) she had to knock first. It was a rough couple months reminding her of this but eventually she got the hang of it. For the most part if she walks in now without knocking I don't say anything I just point to the door and make a knocking motion with my hand. She gets the point. I have to agree with the other ladies, you just need to be patient and enforce your rules again and again. But remember that they are children, and sometimes they just forget what is expected of them and sometimes they just REALLY need to say what is on their minds-not unlike most adults. Whenever I am really frustrated by SD's constant (and I mean CONSTANT) talking I remind myself of the time that I was following DH around the house complaining that SD kept seeking me out to talk to me and it was driving me crazy. I said, "You know how it can be when someone is just following you around all day and they just won't stop talking." He just turned around and smiled at me and said, "Yes as a matter of fact I do." We still laugh about it today and it helps me stay calm when I really do want to tell SD to please just shut up!

NCP should have rights too! When DH and I get home, we visit with kids, get dinner going, get kids on homework( if not completed yet) and either before dinner is ready( depending on how long it has to go) or after dinner, we take a parents time out. Dinner is eaten as a family at the table so kids exploed with and into our conversations with questions, jokes, or their own subjects. Thats ok, that is what this time is for, we all get to communicate,cut up, ect. But during parents time out, half hour's to an hour's time, hubby and I sit on balcony with coffee or wine, and just talk to each other...that is OUR time and there is no excuse to interrupt it unless one of the kids is bleeding all over out and EMS needs to be called. If we dont make the time for each other, no-one else will. If we dont make our own space, they WILL TAKE OVER...there is nothing wrong with us setting boundaries and taking time for each other...

We just kept reminding him that this is an adult conversation and, unless it's an emergency, he needs to wait until we are through. After a few - okay, a few thousand - times of hearing this, he got a lot better. Now, it's kind of become a joke with him. When he forgets and interrupts us, one of us starts out with, "Honey, this is an adult conversation..." Before we can finish, though, he says, "Yeah, I know. Come back when I'm 18." Sometimes they just get impatient for your undivided attention. I agree with S.Graham39, though. We also make sure to set aside "adult time."

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

I think it is just a KID thing rather than a STEP kid thing. My daughter does it constantly... who did that mommy, why mommy, what mommy.... I just politely tell her " I was talking to DH honey, it doesn't concern you" and she moves on with her day... I think they just want to feel like an adult, or included.

BEDROOM- well, if the door is open, they can come in, but if it is CLOSED they all know to knock and wait for an answer. I would not say that it is off limits because there are plenty a saturdays that we lay in bed talking and the kids just come in at will and jump on us, dance so they can see themselves in the mirror, you know- kid stuff and we get a kick out of it. But if the door is SHUT they know to knock and they are only 3,3 and 5... oh, and absolutely NO SLEEPING IN OUR BED. That is off limits for sure.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Sounds like step son has not been taught respect for adults or a closed door..As I have said before..

My room is "MY SPACE"...And my biological children all learned to respect "my space" and a closed door by the time they were three years old. Perhaps it has to do with me being raised an only child but respect for individual space, priavacy, and belongings is a HUGE issue for me..And I have always emphasised the importance of each human having their own space, privacy, and belongings and respecting those of others..If you think about it..That's a basic human right!

At three my children knew to ALWAYS knock on a closed door and to only open it if they are told to "come in"..Saying "what" or "yeah" does not constitute an invitation to open the door.

Step daughter used to do the same thing..Granted she was almost four when DH and I got to gether..But it didn't take her very long to figure out that the rules were very different at my home..

Sorry, but I was raised "old school" and I raise my children "old school"..Children should respect adults...Period...To me children how invade or interject themselves into conversations between adults is unacceptable to me..

My step daughter loves nothing more then the sound of her own voice..Unfortunatley, she is the only one..LOL..Step daughter is an "eaves dropper" on conversations..And she also likes to put in her "two cents"..When my step daughter does this...I automatically ASSUME that she is bord and provide her a choire to do.. She doesn't do it near as often as she used to..And when she does..That suits me fine because I really didn't want to fold the last load of laundry anyway...LOL..