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I hate the term "no offense"

minerva385's picture

We all say it...typically right before we say something offensive. Why is it that we think that just because we say "no-offense" we can then proceed to say ANYTHING we want and the person HEARING the aforementioned offensive remark has no right to be angry. I mean after all, we said no offense right?

I try my hardest to not use this term, mostly because I find it to be obnoxious and annoying, but I know sometimes it just slips out. But seriously, is it really that hard for us to rethink whatever we were going to say so that it really and truly is non-offensive? Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

I'm all for sharing your opinion and making thoughts known. Heavens to Betsy, I sure as hell MAKE SURE my opinion is known to all that are in ear shot(depending on the subject of course ;-P). But making my opinion known does NOT include cutting the other person down or making them feel stupid. If your remark has the possibility to do these things....RETHINK YOUR COMMENTS!

Granted, we can't help it if the other person takes what you are saying the wrong way and becomes angry because I know this also happens. But if that is not what we intended, then shouldn't we apologize when it does happen? Then again IF we are going to say something offensive, we know we are, and we don't want to change what we're going to say, then why can't we all just man up and just say it, without trying to make ourselves feel better by saying "no offense".

I really just don't understand this...another thing I don't understand (and a blog for a different day) is the "truth hurts" concept. Really, I don't think the "truth" hurts as much as it's sometimes what other people perceive to be the truth. Just because YOU think it's true doesn't mean it is. It just means it's your opinion based on the 'facts' you've received. Learn the difference (whoa...that took a turn for the snarky now didn't it ;-P)

PS...this is not directed towards anyone on ST, just a behavior (both of them) I've noticed BM does right before she does/says something aggravating...and it aggravates me!

Comments

StepChicka's picture

I agree minerva385. The terms "no offense", "truth hurts", ” whatever”... are almost always derogatory remarks; sometimes followed by a more derogatory comment.

My BD11 used to say the "no offense" thing which was of course came right before something hurtful. I'll give her some kudos for being bluntly honest rather than being rude. But none of less it’s the wrong approach. It automatically puts the person in defense mode.

Thetis's picture

"I'm not trying to be rude but...."
"I don't want to tell you what to do, however..."
Grrr.... They are like warning horns on those big trucks! Whatever comes next is not going to be nice!
*Beep beep beep*
(Too much coffee today.)

coySM's picture

ya it's like "I'm being polite and using my so-called manners so I can say the shitty thing I'm about to say!!!"