Edit: Labor Day Weekend
Because of the EOEW schedule, we have been stuck with my husband's son during every three day weekend holiday this summer. This is not what I came here to complain about though. I know many of you have your skids full time and I have it relatively easy. Also, I worked...voluntarily...during the other holidays so I wasn't as resentful as I am now.
This is the last one of the summer. We had talked about going out of state and visiting friends, maybe hit a beach while we were at it. I thought I was being extremely generous by saying I didn't mind if his son went with us since it is going to be a skid weekend anyway. He seemed happy about that. That was a month ago.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I started making more concrete plans, and now it's a completely different story. He doesn't want to go. I reinforced to him that I didn't care if his son tagged along this time, our friends have kids his age and it just seemed perfect, they could keep each other occupied, everyone wins.
He started hemming and hawing that HE wouldn't have fun because he'd be worried about his son having a good time. That sounded stupid to me so I persisted and finally got to the truth. DH is ashamed.
He is terrified about asking BM's permission to take his own kid on a weekend trip during his scheduled visitation. He is ashamed that he is even reduced to having to ask her permission. He is scared she will object and cause a scene and then he will either have to cancel last minute and stay home with the boy or just skip his weekend with his son and go with me. He is ashamed of his situation. Our friends have an intact family and even though their kids are turning into pre-teen shits too, he knows his kid is stunted emotionally, socially, and cognitavely. He says he feels like a failure as a dad and that will be amplified being around confident, social, well adjusted kids.
I swear every time we take a step forward we take two more backwards. He knows he is within his rights to INFORM the BM, he is not required to ask permission. He knows this. I have no idea how to handle such a broken man. Just when I see signs of improvement, he retreats back inside himself and becomes depressed and morose and self defeating again.
Edit: Lol. I just noticed that I titled this blog with the wrong holiday. Yeah, memorial day, labor day, whatever... the one that happens before fall.