I hurried home from work yesterday so DW and I could go meet the real estate agent to look at a house (nope not the one lol).  DW tells me that SD20 has someone there that she was told isn’t supposed to be there, I say nothing, this was something that DW established not me.  On our way to meet the agent DW says that I would have been proud her because she really lit into SD20 over allowing this person over, she didn’t make her leave but her reasoning was that SD20 said she had the friend there to help her pack and to move somethings out to this friends home we believe. DW agrees to drive them out there later that evening just to get some of SD20’s stuff out of our house and the move getting started, in her words.

I ask, how is SD20 going to live in such n such a place and still work at blank without her own transportation, DW says she believes that SD20 is no longer working but just hasn’t said anything, all very non chalantly and adding that SD20 will have to learn on her own.

The day before DW got a call from SD26, she had been staying with a guy in his parents home, the parents were being supportive but strict about her staying there.  Accordding to SD26 guy starting getting verbally abusive to her so she left and his mother was a psycho ( the last part is key).

After dinner with the in laws MIL states that SD26 got a place with said guy earlier that day, DW hadn’t heard anything about this, so sorted out SD26 and or guy got caught with drugs in guys parent’s house and they were kicked out, she refers to people being psycho when they catch her doing something but still denies it ever happened, DW has been a psycho on numerous occasions.

When we get home SD20 and friend emerge from SD20’s hole and she states they are going to start walking ( not carrying anything packed ) for such n such, DW says , “I told you I would give you a ride, I just have to get the kids in bed.”  SD 20 states that she will find a ride and walks out with friend.

DW is confused and disappointed that stuff didn’t leave, she wonders why they waited to leave until after we got home, I tell her it was directed at her intentionally to make her feel bad or sorry for SD20, which she states she doesn’t.

I go to the kitchen to get things ready for the morning, SD20 apparently made herself some eggs and left the whole mess on the stove for the kitchen fairy to clean up. I go to get my breakfast stuff together for work (premade in a baggy in the fridge) and it’s gone, I also notice that I only have protein shake left and there should have been two, SD20 and friend certainly made themselves at home. DW is pissed she says but I just respond that there’s nothing we can do, we have said things in the past at it hasn’t mattered, she’ll be gone soon enough, inside I’m seething, the food was a personal attack on me, SD20 knows what foods I take to work and those protein shakes are expensive, little b!tch !

When getting ready for bed I tell DW that I don’t always have a response when we first talk about something, I usually in all situations think of something I should have said or would like to have said later on.  I tell her when she told me earlier that I would have been proud of her is wrong, I am proud of her I told her, I know that pushing her kids to grow up is very difficult for her but it’s the right thing for them and for us.  She thanked me for that and talked a bit more about the days events with the Skids behaviors, still on the same page and getting better at communicating about it as well.  I mentioned I try not to say to much negative about the SDs because I know it hurts her to hear it but she said that I need to vent as well.  It has been almost like she has been reading posts here, and if so…. Then very well, she hasn’t come at me about anything I have written here so it must be acceptable, if she’s not reading here then she’s getting some advice from elsewhere and I’m thankful for that.

I know that she will very possibly backslide with the enabling at some point, but right now she is staying strong, even though she is being torn up inside, she even stated so, that it feels like she is losing both her kids now, but she knows he has to do to get some peace in the home.

So please pray, send good vibes or whatever you do, to my DW that she can stay strong and find peace with this part of her life, I am proud of her.