You are here

As a BM...

LPS's picture

I know BM's get a lot of crap on here about clothes for the kids but as a BM myself, I do not like sending my kids in nice clothes to their father. My DD just came home wearing a brand new shirt I bought for her that she wore yesterday to her father, I put out different clothes but she put on what she wanted. Anyway, she just came home with a huge stain on her shirt..... Sad G-d forbid his wife washes the shirt and they send her home in something else, that would never happen, everything they buy her she has to keep there, if by chance she does come home wearing something else, its something that is 10x too small on her and she tells me that its too small.

What's the best way to get sauce outta a shirt? :? I never have these problems with the kids because when I give them something to eat that I know is going to stain I ask them to change into something else. The shirt looks like its 2 separate pieces but its all in one and the stain went through both shirts. Sad


knucklehead's picture

Soak and scrub. Sad
When my kids had visitation with their BF, I would always send them in nice looking clothing. I packed their bags and they always looked great. (My kids don't wear holey or stained stuff!) Well, he started keeping them and had quite the nice wardrobe for them after a few months, and I was constantly buying more.
I managed to get all their stuff back, and stopped packing stuff. Period. They went in what they had on that day and that was expected to come back with them at the end of the weekend. He was PISSED. Sorry, Charlie. You abused my "niceness." Buy some clothes your damn self. }:)

realitycheckmom's picture

I have to agree with dtzy, oxyclean spray or making a paste with the powder works wonders.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I can't afford that either!!!My exH looses the kids clothes and I often never see them again.When I very rarely visit his house I find bunches of our clothes in the corners and under the kids beds, so I decided to keep most of the nice things here.He is a crazy scientist and uses that as an excuse to be forgetful and messy, silly EXH.Plus kids are here anyway 70% of the time.

EveryStepITake's picture

I stopped sending clothes for my BS3 when his father started bring them back 2 weeks later mildewed. Yuck. After it happened a few times I told him to just send the dirty clothes home and I would be happy to wash them.. he agreed they smelled horrible and said "sorry SM can't ever get clothes out of the washer the same day she puts them in" uhh its your job, but whatever.

As for the stain... I have decent luck with shout or spray n wash. Just let it sit for a while.

texstep's picture

Ah. We don't send clothes back and forth either. We have a full wardrobe for ss3, and so does bm. Its just one less thing to argue about, and one less thing to carry on the plane

sonja's picture

We're on the other side of this. I refuse to buy any clothes, because SD is never here (only EOWd) and we pay lots of CS, whereas BM barely works. Shes buying the clothes anyways, so why would we buy more? She only buys stretch pants or skirts, and its always polka-dots and zebra prints. I know shes buying them new cause she wont even take tags off before theyre stuffed in the bag. I always make sure that everything goes back, but FDH doesnt care how dirty she gets. BM should know better by now not to send anything shes worried about, and shes never complained unless god forbid we forget a sock or sweatshirt.

LemonGrassLove's picture

We both have full sets of clothes but I finally had to put my foot down and say no more. She sends the worst possible outfits in the worst possible conditions, and that's fine. I understand her not wanting us to have his nice clothes from her, they're from her house. But then she throws a fit about not have this certain pair of underwear that she obviously got second hand. Or she went on for 2 friggin' months about us keeping all of his socks. No... No, no, no. I make absolute certainty that he leaves with the same things he came in, ie socks, underwear, shirt, pants (depending on whether she sends him in sweats or jeans, he goes back in sweats or jeans), shoes, and sweater (depending on weather). I even sent him in sock and sandals once because I couldn't find his stupid tennis shoes. It pains me to admit that... But he came in socks, so he left in socks. But she wants everything we have and don't we know, she 'deserves' it.

worried_stepmother's picture

We have a full wardrobe for SS here and his BM has more clothes than physically needed for him. When we get him what he comes in is what he leaves in. I ALWAYS wash it first then he wears that home. It wasn't like that but BM would keep the clothes we bought and still expect us to send hers back. Even though she spends bookoos of money on designer clothes and we just buy from walmart (don't see the point in desginer clothes for a kid that is growing like a weed). So I just started doing this and DH had no problem with it and we keep all our clothes here.

Disneyfan's picture

My SDs have clothes at both house but BM still packs a bag of crap (I call them daddy day clothes) for them when the come.

If they decide to wear some of her crap, it goes back with them dirty.

I refuse to wash their clothes because their crazy mom complains about the soap I use ~ Tide, Wisk or Cheer. Now she complains because they return home with dirty crap.

friendorfoe's picture

The clothing issue never seems to get resolved. We have the added problem of my SD's sister at her mom's house stealing the clothes we bought SD. Anyway, I found this amazing product called Grandma's Secret Spot Remover. It has worked magic, getting out old strains too, better on fresh of course. I never use it on BM's clothes though, cause she never even tries to get strains out of our clothes. What's fair is fair. Now if she'd just buy SD some decent clothes!!!!!