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BM dresses skids in matching outfits EVERY DAY

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Now that BM has decided she's not too tired in the morning to actually dress her own children, she has started dressing them in matching outfits, sometimes identical. Today they are both wearing gray and red shirts. Yesterday, they were both wearing navy blue and baby blue shirts.

It drives me crazy, but I'm not sure if it's a justified response on my part.

From my perspective, she is treating them like dolls. I understand some parents get excited about buying their children clothing, but forcing a 5 and 2 year old (almost 6 and almost 3) to wear matching outfits just seems really creepy to me.

Is that a normal thing to do and am I overreacting?

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

thanks. I do need to calm down about it, but I guess it's such a visual reminder of how they are not really human beings to her. They are like these little trophies that she shows off when it suits her and neglects the rest of the time.

SS5 (will turn 6 this month) always picks his clothes at our house, and never chooses to match his 2 year old brother. It's just weird to me that she can't pack a lunch for SS5 to eat at school, but she can make time to match the skids outfits even to their accent colors.

DaizyDuke's picture

My SIL does the same exact thing with her girls 4 and 1.5. I know she's been doing it for a while so at first it was her doing it, but now that the youngest is getting a bit older, she WANTS to do, wear, play with everything that her older sister is doing, wearing, playing with, so SIL kind of created a monster. She was just actually complaining that she has to buy 2 of everything that she gets for the 4 year old because the 1.5 year old has a hissy and try to take everything.

Now with that being said, my SIL (I love her dearly) is also a shop-o-holic and spoils both girls TERRIBLY! It drives her DH, MIL and just about everyone insane that she is so ridiculous, but hey, I'm like whatever floats your boat... they aren't in terible debt or anything and if she enjoys buying the girls new clothes all the time and dressing them like twins, then so be it.

At least they have cute clothes THAT FIT and aren't stained and torn and are clean.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

"At least they have cute clothes THAT FIT and aren't stained and torn and are clean."

This is a good point. I'm not sure if you saw my post about the boys clothes, but we have about 1000 outfits at our house for SS2 alone that BM has given us (weird story there).

However, SS2 is underweight and slightly short-ish and BM insists on putting him in clothes that fit his age but not his actual size. The poor kid's pants are constantly falling off.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Yes! SS5 is still in 4T pants for this reason. We have to get the ones with the elastics inside because his waist is so small. And come summer he'll prob still fit into his 24 month size swim shorts. I've started putting the extra large stuff away- same I do the extra small stuff.

IfearImgoinnutz's picture

BM does this all the time. My SDs are 8 and 6. She dresses them and her other BD3 in the same outfits most of the time, or if its not identical outfits, same themed. It drives me nuts. My OBD is 9 now, no way she would let me dress her in an identical outfit as her 5 y/o sister.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I know it's not a big deal, but it drives me nuts too. I just can't figure out what motivates her to do that.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I even think it's weird when people do it with twins. I have known quite a few twins, and none of them liked it when their parents dressed them identically.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Could you explain why you dressed them the same? I'm trying to get some insight on the situation.

skylarksms's picture

I don't like it when it is TWINS the parents are dressing alike, much less just SIBLINGS.

This keeps each child's individuality from blossoming unhindered.

Auteur's picture

HMMMM VD refers to her brothers as "the boys" even though Brainiac is older than she is.

Weird. Now once in a great while Peg would refer to Awesomeson as "the boy" due to Homer Simpson's influence and Awesomeson's dad used to call him "the boy."

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This is already starting with SS5 and SS2. Luckily, SS2 copies everything SS5 does right now, so he probably won't mind when they put him in the same sports, but I'm worried about the backlash when he starts developing his own interests.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Ditto on the twin thing. If people can't figure out that they are twins by looking at them, then matching outfits are not going to make it sink in. And also . . . who cares?

Auteur's picture

My mother used to do that. I hated it. My sister and I look NOTHING, literally NOTHING alike. Probably because my parents are the two most opposite looking people on the planet. I look like my mother. . .my sister looks like my father (I THINK like my father and my sister THINKS like my mother)

We are over six years apart.

The doll thing is a distinct possibility as both GG and the Behemoth view their children as dress up dolls with zero expectations for them.

It could be that she is trying to reinforce the "we-are-fam-i-ly" thing. Especially if you have children of your own either with skid's biodad or from a previous relationship.

She may be trying to establish that "kids and mommy are one family unit; madam H is another family unit and has nothing to do with you."

This was instilled in GG's kids by the Behemoth literally 24/7. All three use to huddle together in one room even though they had their own rooms. The Behemoth was relaying the message that they had to stick together as a Behemoth family unit when at my house due to my "evilness."

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This is what I've been considering because she seems to send them over in mom specific shirts all the time: "Mommy's Team" "Mommy's Favorite" "Mommy's World" "Mommy's Heart" . . . Is there a mommy shirt depot or something?

The list goes on and on. When they are not in mommy shirts, they are in pseudo jersey shirts that they don't understand. Whenever we take SS5 shopping he picks animal shirts (because five year olds are interested in animals) but all BM buys for them is weird stuff about sports they haven't even heard of or played before and crap about how they are mommy's something or other.

I don't have any bios, but DH and I are sort of working on it and I think everyone expects it since I'm "relatively" young (27).

Madam Hedgehog's picture

HAH! That was actually my mom's suggestion. She said I should print out a bunch of stickers with the word STEP on them, and just fix the sticker in front of the word MOM on all their tshirts before we send them back. I wouldn't do it, but I LOVE the idea.

Auteur's picture

How about "daddy's little dude?" that works well when the BM is trying to trash biodad.

VD came over once with the "I (heart) Mom" or something like that. Surprisingly that shirt never made it back to the Behemoth's black hole vortex of missing merchandise. I think the last time I saw that white tshirt was polishing the woodstove with stove black and/or tying back my tomatoes. Wink :evil:

And that "mommy's this and mommy's that" sucks. Or "My mom" "My sister" "my brother" as though GG had no knowledge about Prince Hygiene's siblings and how they beamed down to earth. Especially insulting was "daddy's house" umm no it's Auteur's house; daddy couldn't afford to live in a cardboard box due to the sodomization known as CS.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

^^^ This is awesome. Sodomization indeed!

I'm guilty of the disappearing shirt routine too. A couple "Mommy" shirts have turned into work rags.

youngmama1b1g's picture

I think it's partially the market. I was looking for shirts for my nephew recently and out of 20 shirts or so- 1 was daddy related, 6 plain or patterned and the rest had something to do with mom. It's ridiculous to say the least.

My SO got super pissed when SS showed up in a "my grandpas the best" shirt since his father had passed not to long ago and as far as its know BMs never been in contact with a father figure. That shirt disappeared.
We also keep the "big brother" shirts that my SS loves over here. I wouldn't put it past BM to put it on SS when she's out and about with the other children in the house she lives with- its bad enough SS is convinced these kids are his cousins, I don't want anyone mistaking them for brothers too.

I've also heard of a shirt that says "my stepmom is hotter than my real mom". Now that'd be fun }:)

IfearImgoinnutz's picture

How about when they both come over in shirts that say "I love driving my parents crazy." YEAH BM we get it, YOU ARE THE MOM. GEEZ.
My personal favorite is when we got them for Christmas and SD8 was wearing her "DRAMA QUEEN" shirt that she says SD6 picked out for her. I promptly asked DH if they made one in BMs size. HA!

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I can't imagine being so insecure I had to show everyone I was a parent through clothing choices. It's pretty bizarre.

godess-clueless's picture

When my 3 girls were young there were times when I would have them all dressed in identical outfits. They were each 11 months apart in age. There were times when I found it easier and safer to have them dressed alike. Airport travel, parades, crowded tourist areas , any where that I was concerned of a possible separation I did this. My 2 older boys would also wear identical outfits.

There were a few times it was helpful in finding one that had started to wander away. I could point to the boys or girls and just say "This entire outfit exactly." then there was no doubt in anyone's mind as to child size and outfit.

Any other time all the children had their own taste in clothing and wore what they wanted. Maybe the bio mom has a fear they will get misplaced in school???????????????

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This totally makes sense. I would do the same thing, and I distinctly remember my parents dressing my brother and I in the same colors (usually neon) when we were in crowded places where one of us might get lost.

However, SS2 isn't even in school. He spends the entire day with us. SS5 goes to school, but I'm not sure how the coordination plays into the situation when SS2 isn't even there.

stateyourbiz's picture

Shake it off. It's just another thing to annoy you. Like any judge would say what happens at either parent's house is their business just as long as the children are not in harms way. My step kids complains about the crappy clothes their mom buys them and i tell them "she can dress you like frankenstien and cinderella all day long" so if you are not being hurt there is nothing I can do for you. It's just the way it is.....blah blah blah

helena_brass's picture

You know, I see your point (she can color coordinate but can't pack lunch), and I understand that it's annoying--but oh well, what can you do? When they come over, change their clothes if it drives you batty. They will grow older and she won't be able to pull that one anymore. It's only a matter of time.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I guess it's just a complaint on my part. If she wasn't such a nutbag pain in the butt, I would probably just laugh. But you are definitely onto something. She's lazy as hell, so as soon as she thinks it will be less work to let the kids dress themselves they will probably show up in different outfits.

Nightshade's picture

My stepdaughter does this all the time and her boys are 8 and 3...she says she "obsessed with the twin thing"...umm, yeah okay...either the older one looks babyish or the younger one looks like he is wearing someone else's clothes, they are way too far apart in age for that.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

lol. SS2 always looks like he's on the way to a frat party or something. he's constantly wearing collared shirts with buttons (that drive him crazy) just so that he'll match SS5's school clothes.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This, I think, is actually a clever idea though. I knew a set of identical twins in school and it would have been great if their mother would have taken a similar approach.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I guess it bothers me because she has time to color code, but she won't pack a lunch for SS5 to take to school, clean his ears, cut his fingernails, tell him to brush his teeth, etc.

All she is doing for these kids is the "fun" stuff. They are just dolls to her.

But I am glad they have clothes that fit and that are nice. I guess I just wish she would spend a fraction of that energy on taking care of their actual health and happiness.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

The kids really do have alot going for them. That's a really good way to think about it. I guess everything she does gets on my nerves. lol

herewegoagain's picture

What's the big deal...oh my...Anytime I go on vacation with my DH and kiddo we pick out clothes that matches...not necessarily the same outfit, but it always matches...makes for nicer pics...but heck, who cares really...be thankful they are dressed appropriately and not in rags or worse, if girls, like little hookers...let it go.