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All I want is one day...

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Just one day where SD11 doesn't make it about her. Yesterday, we were taking the entire family out to dinner to celebrate several things that have happened. My DH didn't want to bring SD11. He was going to leave her with a babysitter because she is still grounded. But, she has been better. Not great, but better. She is still grounded for two more weeks, but I told him we should bring her along. We sat her down and told her the rules. She didn't argue.

So yesterday evening, we are getting ready to leave and DH notices that both SD9 and SD11 need to change their shirts. SD9's shirt had a stain on it. And, SD11 was wearing something inappropriate. And by inappropriate, I mean you could see part of her boob. We didn't even know she had a shirt like that. So he tells them to change their shirts. SD9 actually argued with him for a minute or two, but she went and changed her shirt. SD11 said nothing and went to her room. Both of us were shocked that she just decided not to argue.

Fast forward 20 minutes and we are getting ready to walk out the door. SD11 comes out of her room wearing the exact same shirt. DH asks her why she didn't change her shirt. She told him she didn't have too. He told her if she wanted to go, then she would have to change. Of course, she argued with him and then started screaming about how unfair it was.

DH told her to change the shirt or stay at home. She went and got a new shirt, but she was screaming the entire time and slamming things. Needless to say, she ended up staying home. She wasn't happy about it. She cried and begged to come with us when she realized DH went down the street and asked the babysitter to watch her. He made her stay. I could tell the whole incident ruined the evening for him. This was a big deal for all of us. I just wish that she could not make it about herself, just once.

DH plans to seize all of her inappropriate shirts today so that will probably be an adventure.

Comments

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

There are some shirts that are going to be eaten by the washing machine here. We are just trying to figure out where the shirt came from. I take the girls shopping for all their clothes. I have never seen that shirt before.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Really? Parenting isn't fun? I thought it was supposed to be a picnic. Dirol Truthfully, I am just venting. I was proud of DH for stepping up. He's been doing that a lot lately.

Newstep's picture

Our washing machine has "lost" so many bootie shorts I can't even count lol.

ChiefGrownup's picture

WTF? As soon as she reappeared wearing the same shirt and said she wasn't going to change it, your dh should have said nothing and come back with the babysitter. The end.

If he wanted to give her another chance, the MOST he should have said would have been, "Oh, really? I thought you wanted to come to the restaurant with us?" When she started to argue then go get the babysitter. She needs to learn there is no arguing. It's the rule of Yoda: you do or do not do. I do or do not do. No arguing, no screaming, no attention. Just do or don't do.

oneoffour's picture

Kudos to DH for standing his ground. And it will take time for SD11 to work it all out.
However ... SD wasn't making it about her. She was trying to get her own way in her own time-honored fashion. However DH called her bluff and dealt with it. NOW ... if DH decides to have a terrible time because his daughter chose not to do as she is told, his loss. He is responsible for his happiness. If he CHOOSES to be miserable, it is all on him. SD11 isn't there being a pain. She is at home sulking and whining or whatever she is doing. I can understand disappointment on his part that his daughter is being a brat but letting her ruin his evening? Surely that is his call.

Why not talk to him. Tell him how proud you are that he didn't give in to SD and this will only do her good in the long run. However he cannot let her bad attitude ruin HIS evening out in future. Otherwise why go out? Which means SD11 wins and she may as well come along dressed inappropriately.