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why does my DH and i use D loosly

LPS's picture

always stick up for my ex husband in everything that occurs between him and me. I had it out with my ex today on text message and when I went to tell my DH, he starts screaming at me. He never backs me up. I'm so sick of it.

Comments

knucklehead's picture

Is it possible you're acting like a "crazy BM" to your XH and your DH sees it?

I dunno know why, but that seems like a likely possibility...

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Im kinda lost & confused on this. Can you perhaps explain more? Its just not making sense to me. Thx

LPS's picture

Ok, my children's medical insurance is under their step mother's name and I took DD to Dr today, texted XH that I needed hos wife's dob and ss# so I could take the prescription and the new insurance card to the pharmacy. He refused to give me the ss#, in which I responded, tell you wife I wont open any cc in her name that's not my thing (XH identity thefted me and put me in 30K debt). DD has a UTI, which of course my XH blames on me, because of course that's my fault. Then he goes on to say how I am a terrible mother and I don't care for my children because my DS had to use soap to wash his hair Saturday ( we had run outta shampoo) so I told XH to alert the media, that is true child abuse and how I will put my mailman on alert since I'm positive I will be getting another letter from his lawyer. XH has hos lawyer write me harassing letters all the time, yet he doesn't seem to realize he is in the wrong, because he's a narcissistic, gambling. lying, identity thefting POS and when my attorney comes back at them, all of a sudden nothing comes out of anything. Okay so anyway, I read my texts to my brother and my mother and both were like wtg, I finally stood up to XH and he didn't make me all upset, like he has so many times in the past. Well, DH gets mad when I stand up for myself. He thinks that I stir things up and XH will have the letters coming again, but, we never go to court. I was just defending myself against XH negative remarks on how I am such a terrible mother. I honestly don't care that DH doesn't like that I stand up for myself to XH, I feel good about it. I told XH he was a POS, what he said to me means nothing in my world because I don't care what he says because I don't care about him. I told him he is a miniscule POS and if he was on fire, I wouldn't pee on him to put him out. Then I told him to f**k off. I felt quite accomplished in myself that I didn't let him get the better of me. I even let that prick have the last word and didn't answer him.

So, then DH gets mad, meanwhile he tells me all this crap about his XW and I dont get mad, I back him up. When we started fighting tonight about how he never backs me up and I always back him up it got nasty, he called me a derogatory name which pissed me off even more and I told him if thats how he really feels about me and my family, he know longer needs to be part of it. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of hours now, I am really pissed.

knucklehead's picture

Well, I hate to say this, but I agree with your DH. You sounded kinda bitchy in those texts and I can't figure out what the two of you were trying to accomplish with that childish exchange.

Why do you need her SS# for insurance benefits? Who actually does that anymore? Do you have a copy of the insurance card?

realitycheckmom's picture

My daughters dentist and her last two doctors. It was a pain and annoying. I can see it with the dental because they don't even have a card. But a lot of doctors want/need the social of the person the insurance is under.

doll faced sm's picture

The hospital my daughter was in last week. Needed my husbands ssn, dob, and a lot more.

LPS's picture

every time I go somewhere with kids to dr, they need her dob and ss# because it's her insurance. Didn't matter anyway, I just used mine and DH insurance for the prescription which is what I will continue to do. I have the insurance card but, it has no personal information on it.

LPS's picture

BTW, if I sounded bitchy then I made my point to XH, my intent was to sound like a nasty sarcastic bitch.

herewegoagain's picture

OK, sorry, but I agree with your DH...which really, if you can use your and your DH's insurance card for the medication, exactly why is it that your DH's wife is also forced to have your kid on insurance? I don't get it. I doubt that having your kids on your insurance costs you anything at all, otherwise, you would not have double insurance, right? I know if the tables were turned you would flip about ANYONE having your insurance. Again, what is the big deal if you have your own insurance and the kids are covered?

Or wait? Are the kids only on THEIR insurance but you used your insurance fraudulently to get meds for your kids? hmmm...it's one or the other, right?

LPS's picture

where do you come up with this stuff? Im being fraudulent you say? First of all, my XH is legally obligated to provide medical insurance for our children. The fact that it is in his wife's name is beyond me and weird of I must say so myself. My DH added my children to his insurance when we were married, it's considered secondary insurance, therefore I cannot always use it because the insurance from their father is the primary insurance. If XH is legally responsible as per court order, and I am the parent with physical custody then legally he must give me all information pertaining to that insurance, if he doesn't he is in contempt of court.

LPS's picture

I agree with this and when XH changed over the insurance to his wife it was their responsibility to call the DR and give that information, which they did. The problem I had was with the pharmacy, he refused to give me the information I needed to provide along with the card to get my DD her prescription. Any medication I get for my children, I always pay the co-pay out of my pocket even though legally I am not responsible for the whole thing, therefore, he doesn't live near me, he never answers any of my calls and hardly answers a text and he isn't pro-active in doing anything for his children, everything falls on my head.

12yrstepmonster's picture

I've never had to give my social to anyone for an Rx. You give them the card.

If there is a problwm, you text exh or the SM and say, would you please call Dr so and so and give them the info they need to bill your insurance.

My exh and I both carry DD. Mine is always primary since I have custody.

I would never give my social to BM.

Just an FYI, you get more bees with honey than vinegar.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

I agree. If DH's EX wife called me to get my SS# or DOB I would absolutely say no way. Not going to happen. Ever!

Save the drama and do what StepAside says.