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Do As I Say, Not As I Do

losingmymind's picture

Boy, I thought those kind of antics would end along with childhood, but BM just yet again demonstrates how a real live grown up can still act just like a little child!!
So, last week SD called and when we were asking her about school starting she was sad and said that her mom wouldn't let her get any of the things that she wanted. We are talking about a pencil bag and a pink ruler as opposed to just a plain wooden one. There is only like a $.50 difference. Okay...we are broke broke but we can buy a flexi ruler!! So we told SD that we would send her a package. Well, SD had left a tank top from her moms here when she returned so I had to send that and the pictures that SD was requesting anyway so it wasn't a big issue. So I picked up some other little nick nack things that were HSM that I knew she would like too. You would think that BM would be happy that we were spending our money but instead she is now firing at DH today that she has receipts to give him for her medicine.
Let me explain to those that do not know our situation. Back in Sept. of last year we had the CS modified. At that time BM said that SD needed a tutor and that her and her husband had already set one up and stated that it was $60.00 a month. The judge saw that as reasonable and DH agreed so half that amount was tacked onto the monthly CS amount as a "special needs" which in the case state is specifically for private schooling.
Well, BM never ever got a tutor. So DH is paying this extra money each month and BM thinks that this is okay and that he should also cough up half of a medical expense because her insurance sucks. I think they had to change the policy because it is a $2K deductible per individual BEFORE ANY insurance payments will be made...We are talking about a child here. 8years old...she won't meet that in one year!! So DH emailed her back asking for the proof of insurance cost to show SD's portion. This was brought up months ago and DH suggested that BM look into medicaid so that all things would be covered. We even found an individual plan for a minor child with United Healthcare that was only $80.00 a month for her and it had an office visit copay and prescription copay instead of paying straight out of pocket. BM flat out says that she refuses. Well, the idiot that she is she says that it is none of DH's concern because he doesn't pay for it. ????? What??? I am trying to get into law school and she knows this and then on top of that she has a copy of the income calculations which clearly show the $78.00 portion for SD's insurance included in the calculations!!!! That is part of what child support is to go to. BM goes on and on being hateful and says that she will not be meeting us halfway or anywhere for that matter when the next scheduled time for parenting comes up. Again....I know for a fact that she signed in agreement that she would EITHER meet us halfway for drop offs and returns OR we would have SD put on a non stop flight. I know this because I WROTE THE PAPERS THAT THEY SIGNED!!! Those were my forms!! She does have only one good point. We are currently late for this months (Aug) child support. We haven't paid it yet. It cost us over $1200.00 for this summer to go to and from getting SD and paying for the plane ticket and all and just plainly are behind. Nothing we can do about it. We had SD for two straight months and even though it is ordered to pay her during that time as we did not petition to change child support when we moved away, it is still way more than we can afford. So is she understanding in the least bit??? NO Way!! But, before you condem me...her husband is so far behind in child support that he has just last month had to get a stay in an order of confinement for the second time in the past year. We aren't even 30 days late and she is putting DH up at the stake. He told her that those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but she defended her husband saying that he pays his child support. Does she think we are dumb??? We have told her that we looked at the court recods and know all about it. But in her twisted mind...she and her husband are perfect and she is just always the victim and my DH is just big and bad I guess. She is just such a looser. She let her daughter FAIL school and isn't ashamed of it at all. She says that SD is "young" for her grade because she has a summer birthday....BM has a summer birthday too and she did fine in school. Go figure. See, classic case of do as I say not as I do. I hate that I so badly wish for time to speed up so we don't have to deal with her anymore.
Tonight SD called and DH had gone to the store and so I let SD talk to her little sister and then when she asked BD to talk to "momma" suddenly BM was telling her to get off the phone. All documentated!! BD was relaying play by play for me the whole time on the phone.
So DH asked her to please try to let SD have actual conversations with us and she blew up and told DH that she was done and from now on if he had any questions that he could ask her husband. What??? DH informed her that he would certainly not as her husband was not her father and she needed to stop trying to make it as such. ---another story...she enrolled SD in school last year as she being me basically...well, using my last name and seeing how we have the same first name...and put her husband down as the father. DH was no where on the form.
She is mentally unstable I think. I don't think I have the energy for court right now but if that is the way she wants to go she will be sadly mistaken. We are prepared to go for custody at that point. Asking for a GAL and all!!!


stepwitch's picture

I can only imagine....wait I know....what you are going thru.. I'm sorry, I wish I could do something to help yall. It's a hard place to be able to see what is going on around you and not able to do a damn thing about it.

Get to law school, get your degree, get yourself educated and tear her to shreads... Education is key...I'm proud of you !!!

Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

StepG's picture

We are going to court to get SS 50/50 there is a lot that goes on at his mom's that it too much for an 8yr old to worry about. Can we request a GAL for our son. Will they be someone that he can talk to?

Sia's picture

I know it doesn't help much, but I hope everything goes well for you!

gotadog's picture

that you take the initiative to get her what she needs even though the BM won't . I bought my SD her first "real" dress for a dance because the BM told her she couldn't afford it. I mean the kid couldn't go to the dance-so I bought the dress and the BM told my SD she had to pay for her own ticket to the dance. Luckily my SD had some money stashed at her BM"s or she couldn't have gone. I mean she is her mother??? Seems like you would want these things for your daughter....I feel your pain, hang it there Smile