This goes back to the shoe thing if you guys remember. (DH bought SD some sandals and I had some suspicions)

DH let it slip some weeks ago that BM said SD needed some shoes. I didn't react at the time but it did connect some dots for me. We spent 2 weekends in a row looking for shoes. Neither pair he bought were expensive and i thought he just wanted to get her some shoes, but i know my husband. While i really couldn't point to anything suspicious, intuition (?) just kept kicking me in the ribs.

For the past 4 weeks he has been wanting to get SD for his visitation with out me. The first time he did but the last three he didn't. Each time it has been 'the baby is asleep' or 'do you just want to relax here' and this last time he just snapped at me because he didn't get up on time. Honestly i would love to stay home and just chill but the first time he went without me he was gone an unusually long time. Part of it could have been going to get fast food breakfast and that theory fits the extended time and he did come back with food.

All this was just suspicion until he got a text from BM asking him to come early because she wanted to go to her nephew's game. I saw this becaise in the rush to get out the house i left my phone and used his to text my sister. It was still open to the text.

I'm thinking BM is trying to assert some form of dominance again by giving him all this grief about pick ups. Two weeks she was asleep and SD wasn't ready. One week she was fussing at DH because she had an appointment at thw grocery store (still laughing about that one), one week she had a conversation with him and on a different week she calls and says SD is suddenly sick and yet still a different weekend she wants to change where the pick up occurs.

In reality this would be normal 'working out having a kid together things' except i see that DH is just conforming to her wants amd her demands and not really sticking up for himself. I don't want to see him fall back into a pattern of doing what she wants without thinking of what is best for him and his daughters. I'm thinking that the reason he doesn't want me around is because BM is asking for extras at pick ups and he doesn't want me to know about it. He's probably telling her no and she is messing with his visitation in ways she knows he can't take her to court for.

I really hate feeling like i am being crazy suspicious but i know him and how they have interacted and how they interact now. I think he needs to remember that yes, it is great to work with BM for SD but don't let her take advantage. She is still angling for the insurance/take you back to court deal. Don't play in to her hand.