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SD phone Vent

LochnessStepMonster's picture

SD8 had her phone with her and spent the whole time trying to call her mom. We have had this problem before and told her and BM not to bring it to our house but, here we are.

I'm thinking about taking the phone and hooking it up to my bread board. When SD asks me what I'm doing i'll lay it on super thick and say something like:

"SD, you realize I'm an engineer right AND I work for the government? I'm installing a Trojan that will send my phone an alert every time tou recieve a call and send me screen grabs of whatever your camera sees when I request it. I just want to make sure tou arw safe with this phone"

I feel like the phone would disappear after that. Or they would call my bluff. Who knows? I don't know why BM can't just respect that we don't want it in our house at her age. DH doesn't like it because she would rather be on her phone all day. I don't like it because of the long history BM has of trying to control the goings on at our house and trying to trample over our rules.


Disneyfan's picture

Why doesn't dad take the phone when he picks the kid up, then return it during the exchange?

He can't stop mom from allowing the kid to take the phone with her. But he damn can sure say it won't be used in his house.

LochnessStepMonster's picture

To answer both of your questions, DH took her phone the first time this happened and we didn't see the phone for a while, so he never asked about it again. We didn't know she had it this time until she whipped it out of her purse and wanted to take a picture of her and her sister.

Then it was like she wouldn't put it down. He eventually took it from her but i could twll he was agitated. He spoke with BM who claimed she didn't know SD had it.

WalkOnBy's picture

this should not be a thing.

Kid walks in. Dad takes phone. Dad gives kid phone back when he drops her off at Mom's.

The end.

WalkOnBy's picture

We lived with this when Medusa had custody. No skid had a cell phone but she would BLOW UP DH's phone all damn weekend long.

DH would respond exactly one time each weekend "we will have the skids call you at Xpm tomorrow night" and then ignore her for the rest of the weekend.

Ignore the whore - trust me, there is rarely a "need" to talk to the skids on dad's time. Just a ploy to insert herself into your home.

Disneyfan's picture

As long as dad provides mom with a means to communicate with the kid (land line, dad's cell)then there shouldn't be a problem.

That doesn't mean mom gets to use that source of communication to constantly intrude on dad's time

ESMOD's picture

We didn't have a land line. TBH, my DH preferred to not have his EX's number calling HIS phone all the time so his kids had a cell phone pretty early. Now, if he was in the midst of doing something with the kids, he did tell them it wasn't a good time for a call, and to either ignore it.. or keep it short.. or text their mama they were busy.

ESMOD's picture

What is the reason that her father doesn't want her to have a phone? Is it because he doesn't want to be responsible if something happens to it? Is he trying to limit her access to her mother during "his" time?

To be honest, with my SD's having a phone of their own meant they could have contact with their parents (both of them) no matter which household they lived in.

As a parent, my DH wanted to have contact with his children even when they were at their mother's place. Just because they were in a different location, it didn't mean he stopped being their father. He spoke with both of them daily.. sometimes a couple times a day.

He still does with his younger daughter who is 19. They usually talk first thing in the AM and then again sometime after work. He also talks to his dad a couple times a day. He also calls me at work a few times a day too..

JadeMom's picture

Dad has to take the phone away. Turn it off. Give it back when she goes back to BM.

SD8 has one of those watch phone things. This thing is a nightmare. She would call BM every fifteen minutes. I wish I was exaggerating. She would call BM if she heard a weird noise in MY house. (While myself of DH was in the room...) Again, I wish I was exaggerating.

Take the phone away and she flipped out, full out sobbing and screaming. DH said she could have it back on the condition that she called BM once. Before bed. Any more than that is overkill. I'd rather it be turned off and put away, but not my kid. I imagine once BM gets her a real phone, things will get worse.

momjeans's picture

I agree - put the phone up and away.

BM got skid an iPhone when she was 7. It was her way of keeping tabs on skid on DH's time, because the CO visitation phone call schedule wasn't good enough for BM. It was also a means of keeping tabs on us and being skid's lifeline when things didn't go her way.

Then we started taking it, putting it up out of reach and giving it back before drop off. BM fought that hard, occasionally blowing up DH's phone with threats - until he started ignoring it. It took some time and resistance, but it was well worth it.