can i get off this crazy carousel?
talked to bb about our visitation this weekend and sd just 'balled' when she got in bb's car supposedly. dh didn't talk to sd very much this weekend. are you kidding me? i told her 'look, stop picking us apart; dh is a great father and he will never live up to what you want.' and basically we just talked in circles about how dh is not consistent, blah, blah, blah, but yet it's amazing that she fights our visitation every single weekend...it makes you crazy to deal with her sometimes. but i was hanging with friends and i got off the phone pretty quickly. i listened and spoke then when i knew it was a lost cause i said goodbye. so...it's always funny to shock her or ask her really good questions and listen to the silence afterwards...like if dh was such a cheating beater, why hasn't he ever hit me in 8 years? that isn't a pattern that just changes in people, abusive men usually remain abusive, you know? not that i believe anything that comes out of her mouth anyway. then i was like ok, so why would you get pregnant by a cheating beater? why would you have sex with a cheating beater??? dead silence. hahahaha. not very intelligent, huh? and please, don't take any of this the wrong way, because this woman is a liar and i am in no way comparing this scenario to a real-life abusive relationship. but seriously dh is the sweetest, kindest and he would NEVER beat someone. but weird how my two confrontations with bb have led to physical assault. hmmmm.... i told her that dh was not going to talk to her EVER again, no counseling, no conversations, no nothing, she can talk to me. she lost it. she wants to meet with him soooo bad, it's crazy. nothing will change! it's been 8 years! nothing has changed! it's just gotten worse. but she obviously wants to see dh and 'work it out.' uh-huh, sure. she is so dumb. and the more i think of things, the more i think she is just using sd to hurt dh, manipulating her for her own enjoyment...it's disgusting. talk about karma...
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Amazing
My DH ex says the same thing to the kids. He beat her. He is the most kindest person and doesn't hit his own kids. You nailed it. Why has he never hit me or the kids in the years Ive known him. Why would a mother abandon 6 children and leave them with a man that beats her??? Why would he drive the woman to the airport with all of the kids? How was he driving while hitting her? How convienient she had another man waiting in the wings. If this is the truth then why didn't boyfriend confront husband. hmmmmm. I hate Professional Victims. It makes me feel bad for the real victims and these BM's who do this ought to be ashame of themselves.
Wow, ours says that too!
These women need to come up with something a little more original...
hahaha
poor, lonely, bitter, scorned women...
may god grant us the patience and forgiveness to keep on truckin'!!!
and god bless you ladies.
admission...
When I met my STBH, he told me EVERY gorey detail of his past with ex. To his credit, he never lied to me about a thing, facts I know know for certain and have been corroberated by BM. The hardest pill for me to swallow was that he did indeed hit her.
prevent him from leaving when he would try and sleep in the car or get a hotel by taking his keys, blocking the door, and removing his money/credit cards. C) she would throw dishes, pans, ashtrays at him, punch him repeatedly, and do so with their newborn infant in her arms. He never hit her until after they were seperated for a year's time.
It was not a pretty day. And it was not an isolated event.
They had lived together for three years before being married. During the course of that seven year period, he had to call the police on at LEAST four seperate occasions because she would A) prevent him from sleeping when he works 18 hour days in a dangerous capacity
At that point she broke into his email and began routinely emailing his colleagues at work, convinced someone at AT&T to give her his password (she admitted THIS one in court with pride!) and called everyone he had contacted within a year and told them horrible stories about him, and she had called his long time female friend (NOT someone he was sleeping with) and threatened to shoot her for sleeping with her husband. She did all this from inside the house he bought her, on the computer he bought her and with the cell phone he was still paying for her. At that time, he had given her 128k in support, had his daughter more than half of the time, and paid mortgage, triple A, cell phone bills, car insurance, and car payments for her without question.
He lost it. He went to the house and threw her computer across the room, and when she bagan punching him, he hit her back.
She called the police and had him arrested, and then dropped the charges so that she wouldn't go to jail for all of her offenses.
He and I have discussed this on numerous occasions. He knows that there is never any excuse for violence, and attended therapy and anger management for two years BY HIS OWN DECISION. He knows his fault, and admits it regularly.
Our agreement has been that if he loses his temper in the course of an argument and he needs to leave to get peace, he willonly be gone for a few hours tops, and I should not block his way. Also, if he so much as raised a hand to me or threatened it verbally, there would be no compromise. He would be in jail, and I would be a memory.
I've been with him now for three years. I don't worry about it in the least. I've never seen him lose his cool, despite GREAT challenges from his daughter, his ex and even in bitter but brief fights between he and I. The thought will NEVER leave my mind, but then again, I admit that it often takes all my effort not to resort to physicality with this woman as it seems to be her delight to find a persons buttons and push them.
It is a tough question.
I know some people can change. I know some cannot. I've heard her tell her side of the story and him tell his. I fully expected that she would reveal something to me that he did not, and then I would have to buy into her "abused wife" story. But she never told me a single thing that he hadn't already told me, and even though she admits that she hit him for years before he retaliated, she seems to think that she was justified and that his gender alone should have prevented him from losing his temper once as she had done hundreds of times.
Just a few months ago, he went to pick up daughter and a fight ensued when he refused to talk to her due to the RO he has against her. When he came home, his t-shirt had been ripped almost in half, and his cell phone had been smashed into the wall of the police station. He turned and walked calmly to the car, left, and once again, had her arrested for violating the PRO.
What are your thoughts on this?