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Am I wrong here?

LivMommy's picture

Is it bad of me to treat my skids differently than my bio kids? Example: My SD wanted a special breakfast and I told her no. She pointed out I often do this for my bio daughter. I told her that I only do this occasionally and I'm not today. She's right though. If bio daughter were to ask me I'm more likely to do it. Not always but I'm more likely to do stuff for the bio kids. In my defense they don't have another house to go to. They only live with me and I know SD is spoiled at moms. My children are also A LOT YOUNGER. They are also nice to me lol. It's hard to not feel preference to my bio kids bc they are mine and don't do mean things to me. 


tog redux's picture

I think it's perfectly normal for anyone to treat their own kids differently. And I sure as HELL would not cook a special breakfast for someone who was mean to me. I hope you pointed out that her mean behavior makes you unwilling to do stuff like that for her. 

JRI's picture

I have 2 BKs and 3 SKs.  They are close in age and were all raised here.   The issue you discuss, parity, is a big one to me.  I found that I related to each differently because they are such different people, just like I related to diverse co-workers.  Couldn't help it and it varied by the day, ie, cranky BD was less appealing one day than sunny OSS.  Next day, BS was a prince compared to disobedient YSS.  The things i tried to keep the same for all were behavior expectations, gifts, number of friends allowed in the house, etc. Its tricky.

LivMommy's picture

SD has had special treatment before. I've taken her with me to the theatre, dinner, etc. I guess thinking about it I'm not sure I'm actually being unfair or preferential. I just felt guilty today. 

The_Upgrade's picture

You'd only be wrong if you went and made DD a special breakfast that same morning after you said no to SD. Otherwise you're not blatantly showing favouritism. Get her dad to cook for her, or better yet get him to teach her how to do it herself. 

LivMommy's picture

Now that I won't do. If special breakfast is made, it's made for all. I will say SD has had special things done for her before. She's definitely not in a Cinderella situation. 

shamds's picture

the time when he came back from uni. Like foccacia bread and other popular dinners.

i refused and said his pos son who treats me like dog shit, with no respect and openly says i am nothing but the hired help or maid doesn’t get special treatment from me. I cook what we like eating

obviously at that point our kids were 1 & 2.5 so i often cooked certain dishes that we enjoyed and special occasions like hubby or our kids bday i would do a roast... i never did this for ss ever but disrespectful arseholes should not be rewarded with special treatment and favours, it further reinforces they are the centre of everyone’s universe 

if ss wants special dishes he can ask bio mum who abandoned him 11 + yrs ago, actually she never wanted kids and saw them as an atm so in reality she abandoned them at birth... then again bio mum is not domesticated and refuses to learn to cook and do household chores because its so beneath her as a sahm.

Chelseybychelsey's picture

All the kids in our family get on me and dh nerves at times. But we don't refuse to provide them with basic needs.