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Do you watch your step kids?

Bradymom's picture

When the bio parent is out of the house, how many of you watch your step kids?

This past weekend when my husband had to work one of the days, I asked that he take the kids to their mom's house. I felt guilty, as he loves my kids so much & is an amazing step dad to them & does so much for our family. The difference is... My kids don't fight it & I have taught them to be respectful & that is required. His children are constantly disrespectful & not pleasant.

He took them to their mom's, without hesitation. It wasn't an issue at all between us. But. Later that evening when he picked the kids up & we all returned to the house, the step kids were acting "different" I could see it & he & I talked later when everyone went to bed. The kids asked why they went to their mom's. He told them, he had to work. They both said they would rather stay with me. He told them he & I decided if he had to work they would be going to their mom's, that is what worked best for our family.

Bio mom is extremely jealous, she causes problems when I'm around the kids period. Especially when their dad is at work. In addition to the kids not being pleasant. I felt like a breath of fresh air on Saturday when the step kids weren't here & it was just my kids & I!!!

It was wonderful. They are so grumpy & slow moving. We made a big list of chores... All pitched in & we were on the road to the movies by 11:30am!!! Step kids do. not. do. chores. eh. no. way. It was so nice to get things done & so early!!! Normally when they're here I feel like a prisoner in my house, it effects everyone's mood. I hate it. Now my husband is making comments as to... The kids see what they missed out on so they'll be better now. No!!!

I gather he's thinking next time he has to work we should try letting the step kids stay here again. I feel that ship has sailed. When the bio parent isn't there do you watch the step kids? (For example: working)

Comments

hereiam's picture

I only did once, for about 4 hours when DH had to work a half of a Saturday. It never would have been an on-going thing.

Had working Saturdays been a regular thing for him, he would have just waited to pick her up on Saturday after work. She was not there to spend time with me.

4GETABOUTIT's picture

I did the first year and stopped. If he has to work, he takes them with him. I don't want the liability.

Maxwell09's picture

I do my DH works nights and is custodial/primary so I watch him every evening for a couple of hours then we go to bed.

Glassslipper's picture

I keep my skids when DH is at work, but his kids are respectful and fun. BM has her issues, tell the kids to lie and sneak off to meet her outside and such, but the kids themselves are good and I'd rather have them with me than BM...

simifan's picture

I did when SD was little as DH worked Sat mornings from 5a-1p and it was totally my choice. SD was not a difficult little one and loved to shop.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I did a few times, but got so fed up with their bickering and PrincASS15's assitude, then I started making plans when DH had to work. They are NOT allowed to be in our home without us because both snoop.

Somuchdrama's picture

BM had it put in the CO that if DH has to work the skids have to be immediately returned to her. At first it used to bother me but the way I feel about the skids now I am really glad it's in there. I don't want to waste one more minute on them.

blended7's picture

Yes, I always have. And it's not fun, I don't enjoy it, but BM is not near here. I had them fulltime his last deployment & am gearing up to do it again, for longer. I hate it. They don't listen, they manipulate everything, this time tho I'm getting a nanny cam. He can see for himself the lies & actions

SweetMom's picture

I would rather not! The one that's his, I give Into like a idiot but that's just because it's for one day and keep me from a arguement. Now the oldest one that's his ex step daughter..hell no! She is a trouble maker from hell and I've been burned. Not ever again will I watch her again

SecondGeneration's picture

My fiance works shifts, so sometimes it means hes at work early and rather than dragging SD4 out of the house at 6am I get her ready for school and drop her off. Which means shes alone with me for all of an hour.
I never collect from school, if my fiance is working late then SD stays in after school care.

My SD is well behaved so its not really a problem but my fiance will ask each and every time, even if its just a case of 5-10 minutes.