Cordial, Bitchy......or you can be Indifferent.

1.having no particular interest or sympathy; unconcerned.

synonyms:unconcerned, uninterested, uncaring, casual, nonchalant, offhand, uninvolved, unenthusiastic, apathetic, lukewarm, phlegmatic, blasé, insouciant;

Do yourself a favor and for your own peace of mind and don't keep trying. I see that you want some sort of relationship with her but she wants no parts of that. Its not worth the energy and hurt. My issue would be H not standing up for you as I'm hoping he would never allow anyone to disrespect you so what makes SD so different.

Disengage and be indifferent. She's a nonfactor and you are giving her way too much power in your life. I'd act like she's irrelevant, trust me it helps and it works wonders.

I would definitely stop trying to resolve things, she just sees that as you chasing her, looking for her approval, and I'm sure that gives her some kind of satisfaction.

Does she even come to your home, since she wants nothing to do with you? I guess if she's banned you from her home, you can ban her from yours.

Sometimes, being nice just doesn't work. Doesn't mean you necessarily have to be a bitch, but I for sure would not bend over backwards to be cordial.

Just stop trying to have a relationship with her. You don't have to be nice OR bitchy. Just polite if you see her.

You don't need to make any big announcements or even say anything to anybody. Just back off, stop asking, stop trying. Your DH needs to be entirely responsible for the relationship with her (remembering birthdays, buying holidy gifts, communication, etc.).

If another adult makes it clear that she doesn't want to be around you, it's not bi!chy to defer to her wishes. As hereiam says, stop chasing her. She is your husband's problem, not yours.

Neither, you should be polite but indifferent.   There is no need to say she can’t come over, its not like she wants to, it’s really moot point since she doesnt, and will only serve to offend your DH, and strain your marriage. There is also no need to invite her over either.  You’ve tried that route it didn’t work... now move on.  If she does happen to visit, let your DH do the inviting, hosting and running around, while you relax.  There is absolutely no need to try to impress this woman.  If she’s badly behaved in your home, at that point you can justifiably say she’s not invited into your home anymore.

I have a very similar situation and to prevent it from "hurting" me, I had to set my boundaries with my DH first. If you cannot respect me in my home etc, then you are not allowed in my home. No bad talking etc. I don't have to go out of my way for anyone any longer. As far as the Gskid, I myself will not allow babysitting in my home (unless emergent) if there is not equal respect. Allow him to have his relationship but set your own boundaries to protect yourself. The less we invest, the less we hurt. I know that I absolutely LOVE my dh's kids but it's not shared with my kids from them. I have made sure they understand that the invites go both ways and I no longer invite them to things we are doing etc. My dh can do whatever he wants with his kids but I won't participate. To be honest, I experience a lot less stress this way. We are cordial when we are together but everyone knows that it's to save face. I wish you a lot of luck! It's hard when you have a heart!

I agree with treating her politely if you see her, but be indifferent.

I treat the SDs like I treat poopie coworkers: polite and impersonal.

I'm polite to poopie coworkers because I'm a profressional and I'm here to do a job.
I'm polite to the SDs because I'm a nice person and I love my husband.

I'm impersonal to poopie coworkers because I'm here to do a job; not socialize.
I'm impersonal to the SDs because my life is not of their business and I honestly don't care to hear anything about theirs.

I would not have her in your home, but I would not let her occupy another minute in my head (or home).  Tell DH that he is welcome to see his daughter outside your home.

Erasing her from your life and home is NOT being bitchy.  Not at all.  It's just common sense.  Let go of the rope.  "Ignore the whore".

I have less than nothing to do with SS34 and his GF even though they have a child.  DH is free to see them as he pleases.  Just not in our home - even if I am hundreds of miles away.   I don't feel the least bit guilty or bitchy about that decision.  I don't have room in my life for people like that.  Zero positives in it for me.

In my case SS and GF would kill to get back in my life.  Not because they love (or even like) me. They are missing our lovely lake home, my  vacation home, trips to DisneyWorld,iinvitations to private events that I get, nice gifts, etc.  I refuse to allow these efftards to use me.  

A good rule in life is to value your life and not to share it with anyone who only contributes negative things.

I was one who for years tried to get my SD to accept me. It is sickening to me now the things I did. Was she ever worth it? No. Did I even like her? No.  But I recognized how much DH doted on her (a warning sign that I ignored) and thought I needed to be on her good side to make DH happy.

Nothing I did was good enough for her nor would it have ever been good enough. It's been several years now, and I have zero positive feeling towards SD. I do have negative feelings, and am trying to remove those to get to a true state of indifference. She is a low quality person and not a value add to my life.

I imagine you are wishing what could have been....there are blended families that enjoy each other. That was not the straw you or I drew. Just write her off.

Ignore her. Her demands are last on your list of priorities. If DH wants to hang out with her, let him. There's nothing they can ever do that would make you jealous of them. What are they going to do? Laugh it up and having exciting conversations? I doubt it. SD is being a bitch because DH did not parent her well so now she knows little about being a decent human being. Cut people like that out of your life. Do not spend money on her, do not answer her calls, show no concern, don't go out of your way, no gifts for her kids nor her, don't do them favors, don't invite them over, she doesn't exist in your world. Why would you let another adult treat you like crap then grovel for their attention? You wouldn't do that for anyone else.

Next time you have to see her, turn your nose up and act like she is seriously a mess of a human being.

If you bann her from your home you will give her the satisfaction that she hurt you, besides it will always be her dad's home so i dont think you have the right to bann her. As for her, its her home alone and you are not a relative so she has the right to bann you if she wishes. I would say stop trying too hard it just makes her even more annoyed, just leave her alone but be polite whenever you meet, or if she comes over. By continuing to try and be friends with her, you are giving her the impression that she is special or the sun and moon rises and sets on her. Show her there is more to life than seeking a relationship with her, be happy without her and it will bother her, Let her be the one to initiate a relationship whenever she is ready. Women enjoy being chased, so as long as you keep chasing her she will keep running so just stop already!