My mom sent me A Single Girl's Guide to marrying a man, his kids and his ex wife: Becoming a Stepmother with humor and grace.

There were spots that were helpful and others that were just s***. However it does have a rather nice section on the different types of BMs. Which was fun to read. LMAO.

I think this applies to any and all of the books you may find... There will be spots that are helpful and that stick with you and other spots that only apply to stepparents that live in a word of rainbows and unicorns...  Each situation is really rather different, so take anything you do read with a grain of salt... I came out of this book thinking I could take on the whole darn world. But reality set in, and the level of crazy of Psycho set in, and then I realized only about half the book was actually feasable for my situation. (if that)

I would like to suggest reading ALL THE POSTS HERE ON STEPTALK. better than books actually. 

About 'blended families"...hahahahahhaha Dr. Laura calls it Tossed Salad. Truthfully that is more realistic.

I can't get hold of the Stepmonster book here but I would like to read it. I tried others on kindle but most of them perpetuated the 'you have to love them' expected you to be a doormat and take all the crap from the BM. No way.

Between Two worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

A Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, And His Ex-Wife

Stepmonster

I've found parts of these books helpful. Stepmonster, really helped me to validate my feelings that it was okay to feel like an outsider. I still struggle with this.

Between Two World's, helped me to look at things from the Skids point of view.

The Single Girl's Guide, had a chapter on house rules, which we ended up doing a version of our own and it helped me a lot.

~BettyRay 

I don’t think there’s any book out there that truly helps any woman navigate the fire swamp of being a stepmother. 

I recommend avoiding like the plague any man who has children. 

That would be my one page book. Think it would sell?

I have a few.

Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.  Sets you straight on who is responsible for what and what to not take on yourself.  

Gaslighting.  Author??  borrowed from my library and was helpful in understanding how to not get sucked into the mind F that is gaslighting.

Any book on Boarderline mothers,  Especially helpful if you have a high conflict golden uterus BM

Any book by Dr. George Simon,  he explains character disorders and how to not get sucked in, has a website and blog too. 

These books were essential for my sanity and reclaiming my power.  

is very good and shows the innerworkings and dynamics.  Reassuring to know that stepfamilies are NOT natural in the human world or the animal kingdom (why lions attack the cubs of previously enjoyed families).

But it is for the average slightly jealous BM.  For high conflict BMs (which is probably about 80% of them) Divorce Poison is a good read.

The problem is that steplife can be a very different experience for everyone and there are so many variables that there really isn't going to be a one size fits all solution or approach.  Personally, I think the situations that turn out the most positive tend to be when people are most flexible with guarded expectations.  Going in and expecting to be "mom" to a stepchild can be a mistake.  Also problems arise when a man (typically) expects his new wife to just pick up with the kids where his EX left off because child rearing is wimins work.  Then there are the various scenarios that surround the relative ages of the kids, the facts of the parent's split and the new relationship's start.  There are also variations in EXes and mental health issues that are part of many of the participant's makeup.

While I think it's good to try to set some expectations of roles in a new family unit... I think that the forging of relationships within the family needs to be more fluid.  But knowing who will discipline and care for kids... boundaries for the EX and inlaws.. all those need to be addressed at least a little before hand.