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When BM is becoming Child Catcher

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Update -DH did apologize and explained he did understand how I felt so letting him off on Friday night this time ...

But we had an awesome weekend . Sd3 actually stayed over which rarely rarely happens. She actually stayed til Saturday night. But oh boy BM tried to get her back home

BM facetimed three times Saturday. And each time it got more pathetic. It started normal but by time three she was offering the kid ice cream to come back.

All I could think of is the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang " children !! I have lollipops"

Was so hard not to lose it. Clearly all the cosleeping and treating the kids like babies only works for so long .DH keeps saying when we have a house BM will let SD6 move in. And lose mother of the year ? Not looking forward to dealing with that down the line...


tog redux's picture

That's called "parental alienation" and DH needs to shut it down. Take away the phone and tell BM to knock it off. It may not work now, but the kid might start wanting those prizes as they get bigger. Why is it a 3-year-old's decision if she goes back to BM's or not?

Your DH is delusional.  BM's goal is to have the kid refuse to come over by age 6, not to let her live there.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Tog is right. Behavior like that should NEVER be tolerated. One facetime, a reasonable amount of time, MAYBE. But for a three year old it's not going to hold thier attention long. But 3 of them??? And begging and bribing her to come back? That's VERY inappropriate and needs to be squashed now. It's not the 3 year old's decision on whether she comes or not. Or whether she spends the night.

Lady.Tremaine's picture

In past blogs I did go over both BM and DH are idiots as they let the kids have too much say in the schedule. 

They also don't have a CO or anything besides a written agreement which.. totally isn't going to screw all parties involved over *scratch_one-s_head*

Maxwell09's picture

It’s going to keep getting more and more elaborate. Over here BM makes sure to go to lunch every Friday to promise him a list of stuff he’s going to or go do when she picks him up so he’s practically sitting at the window like a puppy waiting for her.  Nearly everytime he’s let down. She went from toys to games to electronics and the list will keep getting bigger with higher price tags as he loses interest and catches on that her promises don’t always happen. It does keep him from wanting to come back though...he thinks if he stays longer with her she’ll have more time to give him all that he wanted. 

tog redux's picture

Intermittent reinforcement is the strongest type! If she even follows through on one of her promises, it will keep him hooked.