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BM wants to give us custody

Lady.Tremaine's picture

And by golly she can stay miserable.

TLDR we moved 1000 miles so my SO could be by his kids who BM moved away. 

Oldest SD has always loved me. To the point she wanted my haircut and always over talks to her mum about me. Suddenly this weekend in front of SD BM brings up her staying here for awhile ( implied a week).OK. wish she would have asked us prior but whatever

Later SO has a FaceTime call with daughter. We bring up hey when she's here we will need you to deal with her after school til we get off work ( she has a non customer facing at home job). She says we should get a nanny.. wait for a week?

So there's either some misunderstanding here or BM wants SD6 living with us away from her sister (3) and farther from her school with us in a loft apartment?

Unsure what to do. If she pulls this I'm looking onto adopting SD but truly unsure if this is legit or a ploy on BMs part.

Anyone been here?


ndc's picture

I can see the BM, who is working at home (customer facing or not), thinking that you should get a babysitter for a week.  I wouldn't take that alone as a sign that she wants to give up custody, although I'm sure you see other things happening as well.

I'm confused as to how you go from possibly getting custody to looking into adoption.  There's a big difference between your SO having primary custody and BM giving up her parental rights so you could adopt.

Lady.Tremaine's picture

I have no plans of raising a kid who isn't mine. Ditching your child at six is making think she has some internal problems

I'd be happy with the current arrangement but if she thinks she can ditch her kid without issue well..

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

This all depends on how you're feeling. She can't technically just hand over custody.

I agree with you though. If she decides to walk away. Get her to sign the paperwork to go with it. One of the most frustrating things is being the custodial SM, raising them, being involved and not having the legal rights to go with it (so everywhere we go DH has to sign special paperwork to give me permission). If she's ready to walk away, then you need all the tools to properly parent the kid.