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Another Strange "Coincidence"

la_dulce_vida's picture

Friday I got a notice that a movie had been rented on my Amazon Prime account. I texted my DD30 first since we live together. She didn't do it. I asked my sons but I kinda already knew they didn't have access to my Prime Video account. Wasn't them.

While there is a slight chance I used my Amazon Prime somewhere at an airbnb, I am fairly certain it was my XBF because I know for sure I logged into it on his TV.

So, I reset my password and logged out of all devices. I hope he enjoyed that $4 movie. Maybe he didn't know. Maybe he did. If he didn't know, he'll know the next time he tries to buy a movie.

I think he fully knew what he was doing and I believe it was an attempt to get me to say something. I'm not going to say a word. Shame on me for not checking.

In one week, it will have been 2 months since I last saw or spoke to him. I'm feeling a lot better. Crying a lot less. Moving towards acceptance.

Had a nice weekend away with my BFF in Philly this past weekend. Drank WAY too much, but we didn't get sloppy or anything. We commemorated the life of our third musketeer who passed 2 years ago. St. Paddy's Day is her birthday.

Next weekend I'm leading a cycling trip on the trail near my house. There will be 18 other people going with me but I'm sure some of them will drop in the days leading up to the ride.

The nice thing about being active and involved in the cycling, hiking and outdoors groups is that I meet a lot of men - many of them single. And the best part is they aren't some schlub on a dating site CLAIMING to hike and bike and travel. So many men LIE about how active they are. These dudes are actually DOING IT - as am I. And I have a few nice guy friends I see at these events. It's fun! And it's really nice to just be friends. Farther down the road, who knows what friendship could blossom into if I'm ever ready to date again.

I met one guy at the Polar Bear Plunge. Super cute. Great personality. A bit younger with middle school aged kids, so he's at a different place in life. But I really enjoy the friendship and there is a little something there that makes me feel appreciated and seen. This will be a new twist for me: just enjoying the friendship of men without seeking a romantic connection.

Also, DD30 started her new job today. She was so nervous last night, but drove off this morning looking happy. I'm making her a special dinner to celebrate. Just trying to stay in the moment and go with the flow.

Thanks for reading. <3


Rags's picture

I am so happy for you and am enjoying hearing of your journey.

Though it does carry some risk of a growing connection, I am not one to DQ a short term lover due to them carrying baggage.  Just know that they are not and won't ever be a partner.

After my XW moved out I dated very actively for 4ish years.  I had a great time.  None of those women were partner potential people.  Some were great.  Some were not anyone I would introduce to family.  Which drove my mom nuckin futz.  She would try to push me with "You do not want to introduce us to her?". My response was "No mom. I do not want to introduce her to you. This is not someone who will be in my life long term. This is not about you, it is about me. So no. I will not introduce her to you."

If this guy is interesting to you as a lover, go for it.  Just keep your head in the game and know when to let it fade.  When the right and worthy person comes along. You will know.

After several years of active dating I met 4 women at about the same time who were all completely life partner material.  DW was the last of the 4. When I met her, I knew.

So will you.

Until then, have fun. Start now with the dive into your life of adventure.  When he they show up, get on witih your love for the ages.  Sans baggage.

la_dulce_vida's picture

Thank you, Rags. I'm just not into having a lover or FWB. I'm not wired that way. I get attached. I just want to focus on friendships. 

Rags's picture

Me too BTW.  As I was recovering from my first marriage I was self aware enough to know I was nowhere near ready for a strong connection relationship.  I do tend to connect quickly.  I like being in a couple.

Though it was not a concerted series of choices I think that my spider senses recognized appealing but not life partner material people do date as well as recognizing quality mate material individuals.  For 3+ years I dated and healed. I'm not  completely sure what specifically caused the turning point. I suspect it was that my younger brother had married and was going to be a dad.  We had gone through engineering school together.  I likely knew that our phase of living together was rapidly coming to an end.  

I have upon occassion done some introspection on whether I may have married both times at a major changing point in my core family.  I married my XW when my parents were heading back overseas and my brother left for boarding school.  I married my incredible bride as my brother and I were getting into our careers after finishing engineering school and had married and had my niece.   Nothing I beat myself up about, but something that I recognize may be a thing for me.


Harry's picture

Nothing wrong with getting a little drunk.  That's why people go on cruises. Oe all exclusive vacations. No driving 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Keep doing you.

Im betting XBF is trying to get you to contact him . Glad you ignored and changed the password. He will get the message of silence. Also the next time he tries to watch a movie he will realize you changed the password. A double whammy for him. LOL

Proud of you