Very frustrated and feeling defeated today
I never seem to know where I stand with skids and DH. DH seems to want help "parenting" the skids, but then when I attempt to parent, it seems like he thinks I'm being to harsh. DH and I have different parenting styles....I know this, I know that I'm much more rigid and strict as a parent. As far as parenting the skids, I ALWAYS defer to him when we disagree, I will usually tell him my thoughts, or opinions, but I never force him to choose my way. So I tend to go back and forth between being somewhat disengaged and staying out of the "parenting" which usually means not interacting with them much at all, and trying to find a balance between parenting and not going overboard.
There are so many things that skids do and DH allows that drive me up the wall, but I've learned to let it go, because that's the way DH wants to parent. However, sometimes DH's leniency spills over into my life and I become frustrated.
I keep writing stuff and then deleting it....basically I have tons of examples, but they just seem all so petty when I write them out, not to mention it would make this blog a book.
I don't know, I just feel like I can't win....DH wants me to help parent, but only in the way HE wants. I can't do that easily, I have a tougher parenting style then him. I hate that I feel like I'm nicer to skids than to DD3 and DD1 (really only DD3 since DD1 is still a baby and doesn't really do anything) because I can set expectations for my girls, but not skids. I can talk sternly to DD3 and scold her when she's done wrong, but if I treat the skids the same way DH thinks I'm being to harsh. Skids just have no expectations...wait let me correct that...DH HAS expectations for skids, he just has no follow through if they don't meet those expectations....which is the same as not having them!
I just feel so lost with it....I'm sure most of you will tell me to disengage, and I try to sometimes, but DH then accuses me of not having a relationship with them.
Just venting I guess...just feeling really lost and like I can't ever do the right thing