The answer that I would really like to give....
But I'm sure DH would find too harsh.
SD14: "Why can’t Dad just drive me to Mom’s?" (BM currently doesn't have a phone, insured vehicle, or functioning tires)
My dream answer: When two people have a child and they aren’t together anymore, they are supposed to split the childrearing duties equally. Ideally they should split the living arrangements and finances evenly. However, it is usually not possible for the living arrangements to be equally split, so the child lives with one parent, visits the other, and the noncustodial parent compensates for it financially through child support. Obviously that is not the case for us. BM does not have the best living situation (this is a gross understatement), and does not have any money. She has also not taken on any child rearing duties, which include, but are not limited to school functions-extracurricular (plays, ceremonies, band concerts) or scholastic (conferences, open house), doctor/dentist/orthodontist visits, purchasing clothing/school supplies/shoes, entertainment, social events with friends, holiday or birthday festivities, activities-swim meets, ballet, soccer, gymnastics, etc. Her parental role has been (pitifully) limited and this is one responsibility that she needs to (and we fully expect/demand her to) fulfill.
Also, when you lived with BM, your father did ALL of the driving without any complaint, even when BM was bouncing around from place to place, sometimes living 90 minutes away. We would do the round-trip drive 3x per week.