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Despise the babymama

Kmckay1379's picture

She is lazy, irresponsible and demanding. She never drops SS off and never picks him up. She demanded to have him back tonight, didn't even give us a full week with him. When informed that we can't take him because he will be with his grandparents, she demanded that they drop him off so she doesn't have to drive to get him. I hate her with every fiber of my being. No, she is not going to be busy with work or taking care of other kids, she just doesn't want to be responsible for her own child as usual.


Kmckay1379's picture

We are trying to get at last half, but we hired a CFI and are hoping for more because she has been abusive and neglectful towards him. We didn't put anything in transportation and have been trying to get her to do more for that. 

Thumper's picture

--well if there is not court order..tell her if she wants her child back, SHE can pick UP.

When you draft your co, I would put it in there just like that.

Father will pick child up at the begining of his visitation AT 6pm at Fill and Go gas station.

Mother will pick child up at the begining of HER visitation, they hate being told they have visitation Wink AT 6pm at Fill and Go gas station.

Once the court order is signed, OP do not ask for changes and do not give any changes to anything. Stick to the order PERIOD.

PS if I may suggest--give her Christmas and New Year vacation every year. The  same for Halloween...if not, you will be fighting over it until the kid ages out. Let her have it right out of the gate. Plan your Christmas either before or after with the kids.


Kmckay1379's picture

Well hopefully my husband will get full custody and we won't have to fight for that. She has abused and neglected that child to the point of him having severe behavioral problems and developmental issues and actually telling the family that he loves me and hates her. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

If there's no CO and they were married, then in theory they both have custody and she can't just demand things...  I mean the grandparents also couldn't keep him from her if she came to get him.  But she'd at least have to drive there.

Keep being reasonable, but she can't just demand on a whim if that's the case.

Kmckay1379's picture

Well for now, we just have to deal with it and just use it against her when talking to the CFI and courts, hopefully we will have enough evidence for her to lose custody.

CLove's picture

Im sure you are doing this, but it bears repeating.

So - I get that you arent looking for solutions - because you cant solve lazy, stupid and crazy.

so - I will just tell you MY sitch with BM.

I call her Toxic Troll, because she is short and stubby, and MEAN. Previously she abused DH while they were together and continues via text and verbal exchanges, to abuse him. See my Blogs and postings and they are mostly about HER. Her toxicity never knows any boundaries. Each and every time I think that shes hit a LOW, she hits a new and lower low. About 3 years ago, not even 2 weeks after turing 18, she hit her eldest, slapped her and body slammed her. And about 6 months or less ago, did it again. Munchkin SD13 is brainwashed to think that its ok, because her sister deserved it by behaving badly.

Lazy? You want to hear about Lazy? Toxic Troll hit her head on monkee bars at the school she worked at (working with autistic kids = basically babysitting them because she never made it past 11th grade, and couldnt homeschool her own 2-year old!) and has been out on work mans comp this past 1 1/2 years, because they laid her off, because, injury. She was taking too many days off (hangover), or whatever.  Shes a NON WORKING POS. Thats basically what my DH told me when I met him. A trashy, low-life POS. And she has prove this time and again. She never took kiddo to the park, never took her ANYWHERE, yet she would go all over to meet up with her DUDES.

Demanding - ha! Almost a month ago, she was asking(demanding) "her support check" because she didnt have any spending money for her trip to Hawaii" child-free trip...

And a few weeks ago she was demanding DH look at her car, and when he indicated that he should really be doing that, hes a married mad, etc...she railed on him, called him p-whipped, said I was controlling him and they had an agreement, and if he did not work on her car, she would take him back to court and up the alimony and up the child support. Alimony ended a week after that little diatribe, but child support for 4 years and 2 months can possibly be upped.

Toxic Troll is a pimple on my butt. I despise her and I dont hate anyone...but I do hate her intensely.


Ursula's picture

BM here was the same way.  When I first met my husband there was no CO and he had to do all the transportation.  She refused to help at all.  She didn't start doing her fair share of transportation until a CO told her she had to, and even then she tried to get out of it.  It really kills her to have to do anything for her own children.  GBM mostly raises and does everything for her kids.

tog redux's picture

She can demand all she wants - with no CO, he can tell her that she's welcome to pick him up at X time on X date and then IGNORE her.

I don't know what a CFI is, but as long as he's sharing time equally with BM, he should be fine. He's not required to jump when she says to. Don't set a precedent now that he will do that, because it doesn't stop even when you do have a CO.  She's the "golden uterus" type, who thinks that because she's the mother, she's the boss of him, but really, without a CO, they have equal rights.