grateful first time user
This is my first blog, hi. I am so grateful that i stumbled upon this site. Just from reading other people's blogs, I already feel like some weight is coming off of my shoulders. I definitely feel the need to vent some feelings and even though this is as anonymous as can be, I feel incredibly anxious and that i am doing something 'wrong' in writing a blog here and guilty that i even have these feelings. on the other hand, i feel that once i start venting that i am not going to be able to stop!
I am dealing - trying to deal as best i can - with my STBH's 12sd who is a "golden child" and the biggest button pusher that i have ever been around. I really feel so guilty talking about this, but it's probably for the best to take it out here rather than relay any of it to her or the relationships here. I dont even know where to start. I do want to say though that i do believe that she is a good kid deep down and we do have our really good days when we are both just normal to one another. I dont expect her to treat me as warmly as she does her father, but i do expect the same treatment that she would give any other adult. I get extremely frustrated by her behavior and the way that she is treated by the entire family here. I want her to have a great relationship w/her dad and family. I want her to always feel welcome here (this is her home too!) and remember good times here and i want her to be able to act like the kid that she is, but not at the expense of me going crazy and her being able to get or do anything she wants with absolutely no consequences. The situation that bothers me the most is the "switch". When we are around other people she uses her sweet little princess voice and talks like a four year old. She gets waited on by everyone and really is spoiled. She rarely gets in trouble even for hitting, name calling, etc. However, when it is just her and I, she switches. The baby voice is gone and a sassy teenage attitude is out in full force. She has sat right next to me, looked me in the face and has said some of the rudest things. At first I was scared to say anything back to her because honestly i was too shocked to say "that wasnt nice" etc. Plus i certainly didnt want to be the one to upset the princess. If at any time someone catches her saying something to me that is absolutely not ok, she switches to her baby voice and says that it was an accident (she has thrown things at me) or that she was 'just kdding'. Right. Now? I am sick of it. I dont feel as though I have done anything to warrant rude behavior. Now i feel like everything is a test and i am at my wits end. he dad is the classic guilty dad and views his daugther through rose-colored glasses. I try to see things from her perspective; she's just a child, this must be hard on her too, etc. But my feelings of frustration, irritation, and annoyance still come through a lot. Her BM and BD have been divorced almost ten years now. Any suggestions on any of this? Also, what are some of the best ways to approach this subject with a dad that gets very defensive when it comes to this subject? Thanks for any help!