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MIL went to see SS17

justmakingthebest's picture

MIL sent us a little update, she went to see his band concert. She sent a picture of the 2 of them. Told us where he is working now. Blah, blah, blah.

It was super sweet that she drove an hour to see him play. She hasn't seen him since October when he was in a parade for band in her town, and only saw him, didn't get to speak to him. I was happy to hear that SS spoke to her and was willing to take a selfie with her. But beyond that fact that hearing he wasn't a total d*ck to his grandmother, I DGAF. Like literally no F's left to give.

I guess I was surprised in how little emotion I felt when reading about it. It was like reading a message about someone I don't know... which I guess is the case now. I used to be so passionate about DH being in SS17's life. He was too! I used to care so much. I just don't anymore. The only thing I care about is ending the financial side of the bulls**t. 


PS- update on that. Our lawyer sent subpoenas out to both her local branch office and the main headquarters for employment records. The first sent out 11 weeks ago, the 2nd 4 weeks ago. They never got back a confirmation of delivery from the sheriff's office. The paralegal thought that was super strange. So, doing my due diligence, I called the court clerks in those towns and sheriff's offices- apparently they don't keep records on if out of state subpoena's were served- so there is a good chance it NEVER HAPPENED. Now we get to hire a private process server. So that's cool. Just more money down the drain to prove that she works full time and is a liar. 


ICanMakeIt's picture

At this point the amount of entities that have failed your DH and his child and your family in general in due process is insane to me. When this is all over, I surely hope you all take a long vacation and unplug and really get the healing your hearts and minds need. Good grief how exhausting! 

CajunMom's picture

I'm at that place with DHs kids. The few times I learn of "events" in their lives, it's like reading a news story. And even then, I have more emotional reaction to a news story than news of DHs kids. Don't wish them ill but just have zero connection and don't want one, either.

As ICanMakeIt said...once you guys get this settled, take a nice trip somewhere. Celebrate! Big hugs.

justmakingthebest's picture

It is kind of crazy you both said that. 2 weeks before SS graduates is my 40th. We have a giant family/ friend trip booked!  2 of my best friends and their families are coming, my family, in-laws- like 17 rooms on a cruise. It is on the biggest and newest ship (Hasn't even launched yet!). I think that will also be a little bit of a celebration for DH and I for more than just my birthday! By the time we get back, the last CS payment will have been paid and it will all be over!

strugglingSM's picture

I feel the same way about SSs. They are essentially strangers to me. I think even DH feels that way to some extent. We know nothing about their lives, because BM has told them that everything at her house needs to be kept secret. They are now 16, so we have two years of CS left...I think we're going to celebrate by moving closer to my family, so I can at least get some help with my little one.  

I've been trying to light a fire under DH to have a plan for what happens when BM demands post-HS money. One will not go to college and the other one will maybe go to community college, but I think he lacks the resilience to stay without lots of hand holding. 

I used to be outraged on DH's behalf that he was never informed about events, sporting events, anything that happened in their lives...but now, I just feel indifference. It's not worth fighting, because you will never win with a HCBM and when DH asks SSs about things, he gets told, by them, that he's just out to get BM. When he says he's not, he's called a liar. It's unfortunate, but we've let BM win...and by winning, she's also hurt her children, so congrats to her. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Exactly- you win BM. Congrats on emotionally damaging your kid. Even if he doesn't realize it now, as future relationships fail and he struggles as a parent and worse if he gets divorced and lives through what BM put DH through, he will eventually learn the damage she caused. 

Ispofacto's picture

After years of exhausting bullcrap, Satan "won", only because she has more stamina for drama than I do.

But since it caused Killjoy to fall off our generous gravytrain, I can't help but wonder if she belatedly realizes how much her mother put her up to it all, and how the consequences fell on her own lap, which should affect the way she regards Satan.  Womp womp. 

Let them have great joy of each other.  Miserable, dysfunctional joy.


Cover1W's picture

There's a play at the SDs high school that opens this week; both SDs are involved in it.

DH is going for sure.  Then he asks me "Should I say anything to any of them?" NONONONONO. Just show up and watch it. Do not confront anyone AT the play/school. If you do not see them that night then let YSD know you saw it directly and send a text/email/card to OSD. Oh, he WANTS the confrontation.  FFS.  YSD hasn't been to our home in about a month now, with the excuse of "driving practice/classes" and "school play commitments." Yeah, I don't believe she is THAT busy.

Of note, DH got a message from the school that YSD has been skipping classes!  Miss high and mighty perfect all A's. DH was "that's not like her." I said, "Well, it kind of is. I'll bet it's the classed she hates and thinks are a waste of her time so she takes it upon herself to go/not go. You could ask for more info. from the school." DH: "I'll ask BM about it."

AND once again, I'm out.

I'll be interesting to see how the play night goes, Thursday.