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BM's attorney got a CS order

justmakingthebest's picture

Y'all I want to throw up right now. 

BM's attorney got an order for CS so DH has to pay almost $1500 in CS plus arrearages of 32K.

This is all based off BM lying in court and saying that she isn't working while refusing to provide her taxes even though they were supeaoned. 

This also goes back to 2017 even though we were going off a temp order that the judge ruled on but wouldn't make a final decision until January of this year.

We are filing an appeal because BM's attorney wouldn't respond to ours about a hearing date to dispute the judge's numbers- because it calcuated BM at $0. 

Yes, DH has been paying a little under what he should have been- maybe $100-150 tops- not what they are saying in the least! 

Thankfully we can file and subpeona her employer like we have planned along with payroll records the company's quarterly returns for a couple of years to prove that she has been working like we have been screaming from the rooftops. Hopefully this bit of purjury will get everything righted and we can just move forward after the hearing. 

SS will be 18 next month. This is her last chance at a money grab from DH. I am just sick over it all! 

Comments

advice.only2's picture

I'm so sorry, I really hope you guys get your day in court for this.  Funny the courts numbers never seem to "add up" when it comes to taking money off the table.  I really hope it works for you guys, it didn't in my DH's case even with financial proof, bank statements, taxes, etc. the court still managed to find a way to add in more fees and arrears to help it work out to the amount Meth Mouth was claiming she was owed.  

ESMOD's picture

I'm so sorry.  That is all.  Your judge is an idiot. the end.  (well.. hopefully not the end..hopefully you can get some correction.. even if you have to drag his lazy butt to see it)

lieutenant_dad's picture

Where in the hell has your DH's attorney been?!?! You shouldn't be getting blindsided by this crap!!!

justmakingthebest's picture

Sending emails to the judge and the other attorney, but the other attorney wouldn't respond... it is such a shit show out there! 

DH is in full freakout mode. Which is not good for his new position. He needs to focus at work not worry about this stuff. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I think it's time to go nuclear. Contact the Attorney General, contact the state Bar Association, fire this attorney and hire a new one, alert the media.

Seriously, this is some next-level BS.

CLove's picture

I hope that this gets overturned...

justmakingthebest's picture

I just find it crazy that my exH was a higher rank than DH and paid less for 2 kids than DH has to pay for 1. Of course I always disclosed my income... so there is that!

thinkthrice's picture

oh wait that's a superfluous statement.    Girhippo had SDBB photoshop her W2 and even though the magistrate was presented with evidence from the seethroughny.net website on her actual salary, it was all ignored and the Gir's income was entered in as much less than she was actually making.  

I know what you are saying.  I never received CS which was before the draconian Social Security Title IV-D act  during the Clinton years that allowed CSEUs to get fed funds 1:1 for each CS dollar collected.

Have you thought about hiring a PI who is out in BM land?

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

your attorney is terrible. I would be wanting to report him to the bar association or something because I don't understand how you are still going in circles on this and nothing has been done about proving BM actually works, but BM keeps getting through to demand more money. Plus all the work you have done that you are paying the lawyer to do. It is just crazy.

justmakingthebest's picture

I have not. DH and I will have to talk about this. How much do we want to piss off the only judge in the county...

ESMOD's picture

To be honest.. it is not just about this judge.. your attorney seems to have done a pee poor job of representing you.. hasn't he?  I mean.. what on earth is your lawyer's explanation as to why they have an order when BM has clearly been working and refused to submit her taxes as ordered by the judge?  It almost makes me think HE is on the take. (and not the judge)

justmakingthebest's picture

I don't think he is on the take, I think we are out of state- out of mind.

That doesn't mean he isn't guilty of not properly representing us, but I think it is the fact that all I can do is email. If we lived there, I would be spending my lunches in his lobby until something happened. 

ESMOD's picture

I guaranty you aren't "out of sight out of mind" when it comes to sending you a damn bill are you?

I think you may need to start trying more than just emails... phone calls.. and start a record of your contact attempts..you may need it for your malpractice suit against them.

justmakingthebest's picture

We have refused to pay the $3K currently owed until something is resolved! 

The office manager has called a couple of times and I have told her that I'm not paying a dime until something is settled with this case. They have gotten enough money from us. 

ESMOD's picture

When the office manager calls... I would tell her to have the lawyer call because you have questions that need to be answered before you can make any further payments.

I wonder if the "not paying" is impacting how they are performing on your behalf now though.. his lawyer could be literally doing nothing until they get paid.. and maybe that is somewhat is leading to the current situation with the judge?

I'm not trying to lay blame on you really.. just trying to figure out why on earth you are getting basically zero support from your lawyer.. I would think that would be fairly unusual.. that they would be so uncommunicative.. again....unless they have somehow thrown in with her attorneys and the judge and have decided to just roll over and play dead to make this all go away?

lieutenant_dad's picture

If the order is already in place, not much more that the judge can do. And my guess is that the judge has done this to more than one person.

The judge who oversaw my parents' divorce finally got disbarred after his shenanigans finally came to light. He wrecked a lot of families (and helped his friends make a heck of a lot of money). I can totally understand not wanting to be the ones to fall on the sword when nothing but worse can come from it. But you would be totally in your right to go scorched earth on this a$$hole.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I hate that souless waste of skin your DH bred with, have for years. 

Hope you at least file a complaint against your attorney with the MO Bar Association.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

You need a new attorney. If I remember correctly, you are somewhat limited if you want to stay with a local attorney, and generally I think that is a good idea. However, in your case, your attorney has done a poor job. Given the amount of money at stake, I would consider hiring the best attorney from the closest big city that would be willing to handle the case in the small town. I am so sorry that this situation just keeps getting worse!

justmakingthebest's picture

There are only 2 firms that will go to that county. The one that lives there (BM's attorney) and ours that travels 2 hrs to get there. 

 

justmakingthebest's picture

DH was BIG mad when he got home. 

The email that he sent the attorney was intense to say the least. 

DH wants to take this to a higher court with all things considered- we shall see what happens! 

(With his 1st divorce being illegal and the judge signing off on it, the judge not making a CS ruling in 5 years (really 8 but only went back 5), the judge ordering this arrearage when we have subpoena's for BM's income that were never honored, the fact that she was just awarded medical expenses with no proof and never having given DH a bill or told DH that he even went to the doctor- violating the CO and KS state law for reimbursement- I feel like we have a case that should be looked at by another judge)

ESMOD's picture

Honestly.. I am struggling to figure out how your attorney is handling this so poorly.. and why you can't seem to get answers to simple questions.

I'm curious if there could be anything about the way you are sending them messages that could be leading to the breakdown.

Are your emails concise and direct about what you need to hear?

Do they have direct questions without a lot of extra "stuff" that could mask what you are asking for?

What I would be writing now might be something like.

Dear lawyer,

I am frustrated that we have recieved an order from the Judge with no context.

How could they make a decision on the order when BM has not provided her Tax Records? isn't it required that they consider both parent's income when determining child support?

Why have you not subpoenaed her employer so that her income could be documented to the judge? 

Can we see the calculations that led to this order?

How can we appeal this order?

Please respond to this within 48 hours.  If you prefer, we can set up an appointment time to have a call to discuss these issues in detail.

Sincerely, DH

 

I mean.. maybe the atty hasn't explained things well to you and your DH?  Has BM been employed the full time they are looking at arrears?  maybe if she was not.. that is contributing to the larger back request.  As for the current 1500, have they showed you the "work"?  how it was calculated?  Did the judge include any statement with the order.. any explanation? It seems like the judge has bought the story that your DH has been intentionally underpaying.. so has decided to punish him.. he is erring on the side of ensuring the mother gets some support pmts for her child.. even if erring on the side of overcompensating.. but with your lawyer's slackitude.. it's hard to say for sure I guess.

justmakingthebest's picture

So, back in January the judge issued a recommended CS calculation. He went back to 2017 and showed DH's income as correct and BM at $0. We know HOW the judge got to his calculations. The problem is BM at $0.

We immediately filed a response citing that BM never turned her income in, who her employer is and that this needs to be redone. We also cited that BM never gave a medical bill to DH other than the orthodontist, which DH paid. BM was claiming that she was owed $3500 that DH already paid for that as well. 

Then we filed for a hearing. The judge wanted us to meet the following week. Obviously that wasn't an option for us to travel 1300 miles on a few days notice, so we rescheduled- TBD. 

BM's attorney refused communication between him, the judge and our attorney. He was "unavailable". Our lawyer swears that at least once a month he has put in for a new hearing date and BM's attorney cited a conflict but would give no other possible dates. 

Then, this order was just sent with the judges signature. 

I don't know if he just signs whatever  crosses his desk or if BM's (only in town attorney) and him have some sort of thing (makes a lot of sense). 

ESMOD's picture

At what point does your lawyer consider the lack of cooperation obstruction? and contact the state bar?  either they arent' following up like they should.. or they are just being the most reactive and incompetent.

It's criminal the way they are proceeding.. and it's super difficult to believe the judge is filing an order without expecting all the information?  it's like your lawyer has somehow dropped the ball .. so they settled it in his absence?

justmakingthebest's picture

I completely agree. DH wrote all that in his email to the attorney last night. 

Our attorney has ABSOLUTELY dropped the ball. He hasn't followed up like he should have. He hasn't represented us properly at all.

However, we have also been to court- flow there!- to have her attorney rub his belly and say that they aren't ready to discuss the case and the judge postpones it for months and we have to go out again. So, I do also think part of it is him not wanting us to fly out there and spend money on NOTHING... AGAIN. 

The whole thing is soooooo frustrating. None of this would have happened here. 

Winterglow's picture

I seem to remember Rags threatening his judge that he'd take out a full page ad in the local paper and getting results PDQ... 

Maybe time to get the media involved, after all you have proof of a clear bias towards BM. That consitutes sexual discrimination in my book.

Rags's picture

the problem.  When the judge got a call from a family member who worked at the local paper, we got a call from our attorney asking us to stop the advertisement.

Ultmately we no longer had to sit in front of that Judge.  It did not change the rulling which we pretty much won to begin with.  

Going forward, we had a far better Judge.   

 

 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I'm really suspious that in this case everyone is consipiring against the "out of towners".  Even if they aren't actively conspiring they are letting their biaises against outsiders win through.

  • Judge - doesn't want to be seen to do badly by a "single mom" struggling to get by that he probably sees in church, at football games, at the grocery store, etc.  Also doesn't want the judgement from the rest of the community.  Might ruin his golf game or wife's standing at the country club/church/whatever status thing she has.
  • BM attorney - same as judge.  Also has incentive to win to get more business from locals
  • DH attorney - knows that if he is too agressive no one from the BM's community will ever hire him again because he sided with the evil heathens from the DMV zone. (DC, Maryland, Virgina)

I really hope I'm wrong but this is the way small backwater communities work some times.

lieutenant_dad's picture

This is probably the best explanation of the situation. The only leverage OP and her DH have is that her DH is active duty military with full custody of his neurodiverse son. The judge and attorneys would be in a pickle if that information got blasted because then they have to decide if they stick up for the "poor single mom" or a full-time dad who is active duty military. Small towns love their soldiers and sailors. At the very least, speaking up *might* get a more fair judgement, otherwise the judge would have to justify "sticking it to the troops".

Rags's picture

Our venue court for the blended family battles was in my DW's home town. We never lived nearer than 1000 miles from SpermLand.

 DW moved with SS when she left for university. She was granted full physical and legal custody before SS-30 turned 1yo.  She initiated that to make sure there were no shenanigans with the Spermidiot.  That was when the CS order was implemented ($110/mo)

The SpermGrandHag was the house cleaner for the Judge's vacation/rental properties.  We brought that up at the beginning or the hearing, the Judge ignored it.  The Judge also tried to postpone the hearing for a 4th time so he could preside over a Murder trial.  We refused and our attorney did grow the stones to push back on the Judge that my DW had traveled three previous times from our to state for a scheduled court date only to have the SpermClan cancel/postpone in an effort to cost her more money.  That pissed the Judge off from the get go. He was all cranky for the entire day.

  • DH attorney - knows that if he is too agressive no one from the BM's community will ever hire him again because he sided with the evil heathens from the DMV zone. (DC, Maryland, Virgina)

All of your bullets are exactly what we experienced as the evil out of towner (rich people). Particularly the one regarding your DH's attorney.   Our attorney was scared shitless of alienating herself from her client market and pissiing off the Judge potentially impacting her ability to engage with the Judges in the County.

At that time my salary was $28K/yr and DW was full time college student. We had been married for less than a week.  The Judge made it clear that he did not appreciate our dominating financial position over the SpermClan.  What dominating financial position?  IMHO the SpermGrandHag has likely picked the Judge's brain on getting custody of SS away from my DW and having the Spermidiot awarded custody.  When they tried to intimidate my DW into giving up custody of SS, she took out a pile of supplemental student loans and went on the counter attack.  Once I entered the picture, there was no mor efinancial advantage that the SpermGrandHag and the rest of the SpermClan could leverage.    

All of this was part of the full page add I submnitted to the local paper.  That freaked the Judge and our attorney completely out.  There was a pic of the Judge, the Spermidiot, his arrest record, a very young looking pic of my teen mom wife, and one of my then toddler SS with a bulletized desctiption of the Judge's ruling with a header that highlighted how the Judge forced a toddler into the presence of a repeat statutory rapist/child mollestor.  Though I did not use the words Statutory Rapis/Child Mollestor. 

Fortuneately for us the Spermidiot was so notorieous for targeting young teen lovers (he was 24 and my DW was 16 when SS-30 was born).   She was not his first statutory rape victim, nor was she his last. Even the idiot Judge could not ignore that crap and ultimately "did what (he) always does" and upheld full physical and legal custody for my DW, awarded visitation to the Spermidiot (7wks/yr) and raised CS from $110/mo to $133/mo.

Though we kicked ass in that hearing, and the Spermidiot was instructed to stand then was ridiculed in front of everyone present by the Judge, the idiot in the black Harry Potter robes proceeded to praise the SpermClan and for a minute or two harped on how fortunate any child would be to have the love and support of that fine family.  After 8hrs of hearing where the Spermidiot's penchant for statutory rape of underage girls was repeatedly highlighted including having several of his victims testify about how he was riding them like bicycles when they were in their early to mid teens.

Bad

It was the Judge's agrandizement of how blessed a kid would be to belong to the SpermClan that motivated my call to the paper to place the full page add.

Succeeding hearings were all telephone hearings that were decidedly free of the community public relations influences that were clear and present during the first hearing.  That and the first Judge would not touch a hearing that included us with a ten foot pole after the first round.  We also benefited in future hearings by having a woman Judge.  The SpermClan's supportive position on having the Spermidiot's back in court went over like a fart in church with the female Judge. Where the first Judge clearly was biased, the second Judbge was about the facts which definately bared the SpermClan's asses.  That and the former teen mom was not a graduate degreed licenses professional who was in a then 12+ year marriage while the Spermidiot had 3 more out of wedlock spawn by two more baby mamas. The last baby mama was also under age.

With 28+ years of hind sight, going full rip out his throat with the Judge was not the best choice I could have made.  But... it did get the point across, further destroyed the Spermidiot and SpermClan in their community, and made a notable point with the Judge and our attorney that they had a duty to perform that trumped the opinion of their community or their concerns abouttheir business, etc.

We fired our attorney  a few years after the first hearing and hired a killer shark conselor locally who advised us going forward and wrote very powerful letters to the SpermClan telling them to follow the CO, do what they were told, or they would suffer in court.  They never entirely went away and did force our hand a few times resulting in court action (the telephone hearings) but after they shot their wad in the first hearing they pretty much just whined, cried, and played the poor victimized NCP position to the hilt. We made sure that they were not allowed to play that part without the facts permiating SpemLand. My DW's HS BFF's dad was first the Chief of Police of their small town then the County Sheriff.  His daughter was one of the first statutory rape victiims of the Spermidiot.  So, their crap was never allowed to go uncountered.

To this day I am baffled as to why the Sheriff nor my ILs did not put the Spermidiot's ass in prison for statutory rape/child mollestation.

Nea