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BM and marijuana

justmakingthebest's picture

Does anyone have experience with BM testing positive for marijuana? 

For those that don't know my back story:

This has been a 6 yr battle with SEVERE alienation. We have the GAL report which slammed BM for her actions. We have so much against her it isn't even funny. Fictitious disease disorder, alienation, listing her BF as "father" on school and medical forms, changing SS's phone number and not letting my husband contact him, 2 contempt charges for visitation (spring break and summer- we are out of state so this is out only time), etc. However, court is in small town in a rural area. BM friendly is an understatement.

BM also has been claiming she can't work and is on disability. However, we found out she works across state lines in a medical marijuana state for a dispensary. We are sure she will test positive. We also are betting SS14 will too. After all, he would need it for all the chronic pain for the non-existent diseases he has....( you can't see my eye roll, but it's here!)

Is this worth pursuing in court? DH and are are leaning towards asking for BM, her BF and SS to be tested. It would also show that if he does test positive that she "lost parental control" which is one of the GAL's biggest gripes on BM. 

DH is meeting our lawyer Sunday, court is Monday. 

PS- thank you for all the support and well wishes! I am finally starting to feel a little better. I even went into my office for 2 hours today and made it out to eat with DH (totally rocking my my mumu!). Of course my office and the restaurant are both less than a mile from the house but we are flying out Saturday so I have to make it thru these things!


nengooseus's picture

That it would be bad news in rural middle America, where there isn’t medical marijuana, for her to test positive for marijuana of any kind.

I think it would be devastating to her case if SS were to test positive for marijuana. 

TimeToGo's picture

I'm in California & I think the entire state would test positive! I know so many people who have their kids on CBD with micro doses of THCA... We even allow MDMA in some cases too!

But you're in Virginia where it's still legal to beat your wife, on the courthouse steps, on Sundays, as long as the switch is no thicker than your thumb...

Seriously, you do not want to go down this road. I keep reading your stuff & you're getting more desperate & frustrated by the BM's antics. Seriously, what if you're right? Doubt you have a CBD oil/THCA type kid, you probably "win" a 14 year old with a fattie joint. What a "win"... It sounds like this fight is one you'll come to regret, in time.

If you would like, I could always send you some CBD... Great for stress, I hear, & we sell it EVERYWHERE in Cali!!!!

tog redux's picture

They won't care. And they won't agree to the test, just because she works in a dispensary.

SS told us BM smokes, came up in court - no one cared.

justmakingthebest's picture

That's what I figured.  I didn't know if it would be just one more thing against her, or not worth it. It would be interesting to know if SS tests positive though. Especially if BM denied giving him anything since it is still illegal in all forms in SS's state. Considering she probably bring things home, I imagine her gets into it though. 

I saw the company's website it is full of candy and gummies and stuff like that.  Easy for a teen to use and no one notice. 

I have no issues with marijuana, to each their own but if its something else that we can use against her- that works for me!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

We had evidence that Psycho was possibly dealing something heavier than Marajuana.  We've SEEN evidence she's definitely on something heavier.  She lied in court, said she was "sober" and had "only done marajuana" the judge wouldn't order any drug test.  Didn't matter to him.  And it's still illegal here.

FYI, she still DEFINITELY looks like she's using something heavier still, to the point I ran into her old roommate (who kicked her out for a lack of paying rent and destroying the house... and... and...), he had ran into her, first question was "is she on crack or something?." And her druggie husband has drug spots all over his face.

But courts didn't care.

I don't want to be negative... At all, but it's just the facts. advice,only will tell you the same... Hers was PROVEN on METH, and the judge basically just kept giving her more and more visitation.  Family court is broken.

Cbarton12's picture

I doubt it will matter even if they were to agree to test her. It's marijuana for chrissakes 

TimeToGo's picture

Obviously you don't know much about marijuana. It has actual medicinal purposes AND many people who choose to use it for medical purposes recognize the damaging effects of inhaling ANYTHING. That's why edibles are so incredibly popular...

Moreover, depending upon how much BM transports across state lines, she may not be breaking the law & since she works at a dispensary, she could bring a little home daily & still have a whole lot on hand.

Finally, depending upon the state, even if purchasing is illegal in that state, it most likely is not illegal to take it or to give it to a minor that you have legal custody of, for medical purposes. And no, you don't need a MD, it could be as simple as "microdosing for sleep" & would likely be seen the same as a parent giving melatonin...

So yes, I'm special. I'm special for many reasons but the biggest being that I've been in your shoes & know that it's not a mentally healthy headspace. The kid will either connect with Dad eventually or not but he's 14 & I know this is a bad age to push this at. Especially if you try to win custody by criminalizing his BM.  You're states away, if I recall correctly, Dad is active-duty & so chances of winning custody are slim... 

--figureditout--'s picture

I don't give a rat's patootie about weed. It helps some people.  Your comment about OP's DH being active duty is bunk, though. My DH was active duty when he got primary physical custody of his daughter.

tog redux's picture

Wow, you really have it very wrong. Medical marijuana, at least here, is EXTREMELY regulated. I have a friend who tried it for pain. It's in a locked building where they lock the outside door before unlocking the inside door to let someone in.  You are prescribed by an MD after a lot of meetings.  You are walked to the car by a deputy, and it's illegal to give it to anyone else or transport it across state lines.

They hand out opioids like candy but they act like marijuana is a dangerous drug.  It's not legal here and no, you can't just give it to your kid because they have a headache, and there is no way BM is just slipping a bit in her pocket to use at home, if it's regulated like it is in my state.

Now if BM works in a legal store for marijuana, maybe, but not one for medical marijuana.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Let it go. If circumstances don't change with all the information you already have, BM having pot in her system is not going to make any difference. You have no proof she is giving it to SS. It would look like a last minute desperate move.

justmakingthebest's picture

Thanks to those who gave advice.

I personally have no issues with weed. To each their own. My big thing was it IS ILLEGAL where she and SS live. Drinking is LEGAL for every one over 21 every where in the US.  So that comparison was kind of BS. Working for a dispensary or not, transporting to a state where it is illegal is a crime. 

Like I said, I dont personally care, but if it would make any difference we would go for testing. I guess I have very black and white thinking when it comes to wrong or right. If something is against the law, BM is promoting it to SS just by working where she does, she is wrong. 

If BM did any other job that was illegal where she lives I would have the same views. While what she is doing is up to her, and it isnt a crime that is physically hurting anyone, according to the law where she and SS lives, it is wrong. She is wrong and SS is once again seeing- No, you don't have to follow the rules, just go around them! Authorities have no control over you! LooK at me son, marijuana is illegal but hey, watch me dish it out! 

beebeel's picture

She is 10 miles from the border. All she has to say is she uses the products after work in the legal state. 

Dispensaries are highly regulated. I seriously doubt they allow employees to cart large amounts of products home to another state. Unless she has a prescription from a doctor, she isn't getting anything from this medical facility.

Lots of people commute over state lines to work. She is doing nothing wrong by working where she does. You are making a lot of assumptions and courts don't drug test based on those.

ESMOD's picture

I think the majority of responses that this is not something likely to get any traction is correct.  Again, your husband is, I assume, paying a princely sum to be represented by a lawyer.  This lawyer is who you should be posing this question.. but tbh, I am fairly certain they will ignore this since it is likely to have zero impact on anything.

And..btw.. CBD (which is not psycho active to give you a high) can often still cause a positive drug test result which her lawyer would easily get dismissed.  She is working in a legal establishment.. CBD may be legal (without THC) in your state.. so the "false positive" defense would easily be employed.

So, shoot an email to the lawyer.. ask their opinion if you want, but I would expect that they will take this as another issue that is legally a "non-issue" for his case.

Wrong Way Diva's picture

Do you really want full custody of a 14 year old?   Your keeping a list of 'stuff you got on her' seems like your DH is going to go for full custody at some point.   I'd say DH should continue to exercise his visits and contact SS per the court order.   DH should express his values/morals but respect SS's too.   He can influence him positively by example, rather than bashing BM.

Honestly, at this point, put the money you would have spent on an attorney into a savings account for SS's education.   By the time this even gets to court, he will be 15 or 16.   2 more years and he is free to do what he wants.

justmakingthebest's picture

DH has not been able to see his son in a year. BM won't send him. We have multiple contempt charges and yes, this hearing next week is for a flip.

I wish my DH could exercise his visitation and be a positive role model for SS. I wish we could have a normal relationship. BM won't let that happen.

At this point if we don't get a custody flip it is over. BM will continue to violate the order. BM will continue to alienate. DH will not have a relationship with his son.

Maybe when SS has knocked up his GF (who we have seen pics of and is the typical trailer trash never make it out of welfare land that his town if full of) and realizes what his dad had to do just to be a part of his life. 

helenalancaster's picture

I don't think you can do anything about it. This is her life. By the way, you're wrong about weed. I think it's good in the right dosage. However, as well as other relaxing means. The most important thing is that it was the correct dose and control of the doctor. I live in Canada, it's legal here, and my friends, even though they're not teenagers, still smoke pot and continue to order it right here Some used it for medicinal purposes as I said above. I don't think you should try to convince this child to give up.