2:50 am wake up call... from the cops

I swear to Dog, I am so done. After this visit I don't even want SS back in our house.

BS15's friend was still over my house last night hanging with SS16. Great- he is entertained and I don't have to even talk to him.

At some point in the middle of the night they snuck out with their bikes, went about 3 miles and crossed a 6 lane hwy/rd that has a 55mph speed limit. They went to the high school where BS15 goes and were caught trespassing by the cops.

I went to go get them but first had them pat SS down. They found a little something in his pocket- He was smoking 1/2 smoked moldy cigarettes, it was so gross I think I would have rather it been weed!

I took the friend home first and then got home, took his cell, apple watch and then marched up to his room and announced I am taking his burner phone too. His face was priceless.

Then I called BM, It was about 2:30am her time so I figured if her kid woke me up for this stupid shit, I was going to wake her up too. I told her what happened and that I took his phone. All she could say was "I just don't know what he is thinking". I just said "I don't know but he has issues. Probably has to do with parenting and we certainly don't have him enough to have an impact." then hung up. She didn't call back.

DH is on 24 hr duty so he wasn't home for the fun. I sent him an email but who knows if he will even see it before he is off his shift. Tonight is going to be fun. I think I will be openly drinking a cocktail as soon as I get home tonight! Screw all of this nonsense!

OH! As for the friend, I dropped him off directly after picking them up and then at 7am I knocked on the door and talked to his dad. I told his dad that I wholeheartedly blame my SS. That his kid is always good and polite and I see him as one of my own. Parent to parent the biggest lesson to learn here is peer pressure. I know that SS can by dynamic and engaging and people want to be liked by him, it is his personality. I told the dad that I had no doubt SS was behind the whole thing because his son knows my rules and has always been respectful. I told him that I hope that this doesn't impact his view of my home or my son. His dad told me he understood and that he didn't blame me or BS15 (who isn't even home, he is with his dad) at all.

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I’m so sorry to hear this

I can't imagine how upset you must be.

Sending you hugs and hopes for a fantastic cocktail tonight!

Ooooof. Man, I've been trying

Ooooof. Man, I've been trying to be on SS's side, but I think BM has swung the pendulum just a bit too far and she has lost control of him, too. I'm so sorry that this has happened.

Something to think about, though: while you may THINK you know BS's friend, you likely don't fully. He may be a good kid overall who also is really good at hiding things, or really good at pulling the wool over adults' eyes. Don't let him off the hook just because he is BS's friend and you "know" him. Yes, peer pressure is real, but Friend is the one who showed SS how to get to the school. Friend was right there with SS trespassing on school property. If Friend is as good a kid as you think, he knows better.

Good point

Some of the most "angelic" kids are the worst

Oh believe me, I will be

Oh believe me, I will be watching like a hawk!

Good grief

What a miserable wake up call!

I'd be suspicious of the 1/2 cigarettes. Back in the day, it was half tobacco half weed. So torn up cigarettes are a sign.

Enjoy your cocktail. Can I recommend a refreshing Moscow mule? Delightful mix of ginger and lime.

I honestly thought that and

I honestly thought that and didn't follow through with asking the cop. I think I will snag a drug test on the way home tonight.

I hate to say this but ... as

I hate to say this but ... as soon as I saw the title of this blog I knew it was from you (given your SS's performance last time). He doesn't waste any time, does he?

Sad isn't it.

Do you think your husband

Do you think your husband will send him home early based on this stunt? If not, will DH step up and deal with SS' behavior or will he continue to ignore and make you handle it? I'm sorry, but I would not be allowing SS to be left alone with me and since your DH has such a demanding job, maybe it is better for everyone if SS goes back to BMs. SS clearly thinks he is above the law.

I know he won't send him home

I know he won't send him home but I don't know what will happen.

I don't overly care if I get left alone with him again. Another stunt and I will call the damn police myself. I should have told the cops that I am only the SM and have no rights so go ahead and take him in. I will do "my best" to contact his father.

Genius

Genius idea. But I would hazard a bet that your SS is probably now more afraid of you then any other adult in his life so you won't get a repeat on your watch. You are the first to impose consequences.

I don't know why your DH

I don't know why your DH chose to ignore the pot smoking. THat said, he's doing things that are actually NOT that uncommon for teens to do, a joy ride at night on bikes, cigarettes, even weed. I wouldn't be surprised if your own kids and this friend have done this little joy ride to the school, something you may not know until they are grown. My sibling and I as teens were ruthless- in our case it's because my parents were overly strict, we all rebelled...but escaping at night was not uncommon lol- difference is we had my childhood heart dog- the dog that would break out of the backyard and go EVERYWHERE with us and escort us back home.

My mom had deterrents, our parrot was conveniently placed at night at bottom of staircase, so if we tried to sneak out that way, the parrot alarm would go off lol- if we climbed down from the roof, our dog would always hear us and would jump a 6 ft fence - I think there were times mom knew and knew we were safe w/the dog lol. We did this when friends were over too- ages probably 15-18...we smoked cigs, we snuck alcohol once in a while....we took the car for a joy ride. I think the difference is some of the teenage rights of passage as you may- are 100 times worse when it's a stepkid that has pronounced war on your home. JMO.

My parents 'punishment' was to sometimes not way a word - but damn skippy we had to be up at 7am for Sunday morning church - for us it was on NO sleep, it was brutal lol.

NO, dad shouldn't just send him back to BM_ he should deal with it on HIS parenting time. I'm sorry that it's on you for sure though....as it shouldn't be- but at least you can do something about it now since it DID happen on your time (like the drug test)- if DH doesn't like it he should have dealt w/it himself.

I was talking with my mom

I was talking with my mom about it and she and I were laughing. Of course I did dumb stuff and walked around neighborhoods at all hours of the night. Never got picked up by the cops though.

And you are right, this is a lot of teenage expected behavior. But like you said- we have had a war waged in our home over this kid. I think it would be looked at different if it was my kid. He would still be in trouble but I think the goal in parenting is your teenagers do a some things they shouldn't, get caught a couple of times with minor things and then they had their "rebellion" and go on to be productive members of society.

We don't have a relationship of understanding with SS. We don't know him. We don't know if this is normal for him. If he gets into way worse at home. All I can see is utter disrespect for me and my home. I am not even including DH because he wasn't home.

For BM to constantly say that DH isn't a good parent but this is the mess she sends us is such a joke. The booze stealing, smoking, sneaking out, trespassing dumbass.