Apparently yesterday afternoon guidance counselor called DH to get a better understanding of the dynamics of what is going on. Apparently the teachers on my SS's team are concerned that BM may show up at something even though she was told that I would be there. So the counselor talked to DH and got the background. He explained that SS didn't want BM there and had asked me to chaperone the field trip and wanted me to help with his Field Day tomorrow. DH explained that BM had never volunteered before and was doing so now to see SS in a different environment. Apparently she told the other teachers that she would volunteer for anything that they needed and would be there this week.

The more I think about it, I had disengaged from this kid after the disaster with his sister, now I am re-engaging and he is happy. I am not trying to be his mom, but I am sure he has seen the level of volunteering I have done for my BS16 and he wants someone to do that for him. DH has tried to do a field trip and when he was in elementary school he would eat lunch with him once a month. He did what he could with his schedule. I can do more, because mine is more flexible. Do I need to volunteer more than I do, no. But, I think he wants someone there. Someone to show up for him.

DH explained to the counselor that I was happy to not go if BM wanted to attend. But, they would have to refund my cost of the field trip ($50.00) and find someone else to run the spring field day. Counselor was adamant that I continue to volunteer and that she was aware of the situation and if BM showed up she would call him or deal with it herself. I do not know what that means, but I gather that she would tell her that SS did not want her there. DH made that part very clear. Explained the court case and what has happened so far. He laughed because she asked if we had a court order keeping her away from school. DH said it had not come to that. He told me he could have told her anything and she would have believed him. I said that would have been funny, but wrong and could bite us down the road. He agreed and said that was why he explained it all to her.

The school was glad that I notified them of the situation. They knew we were in litigation over custody but knew nothing more beyond that.

I was at two different committee meetings last night for some other projects of mine so I didn't get any of this information until before dinner tonight. He thought it was funny that the teachers were concerned. He said they felt she could get on some list of one teachers and they would not compare notes. I pointed out that she uses both her maiden name, his name and her new married name at any given time and that I do not use his name at all. Could be funny on Thursday at school.

On a happy note, she mentioned that SS had not been in her office at all this year for grades or anything so he must be doing well. The last two years he has had issues with bullies, anti-social behavior and not turning in homework. Quarter grades came home on Monday and he had all B's and one A. A far cry from last year and the begininng of this year. Consistency is key with this kid. DH and him go over homework every night and study for tests. With Mygradebook he was able to see the trends that when he was with him BM he didn't do homework or study. So the grades were up and down. We were never able to get a fix on them because of the one week on and one week off.

DH and I asked him again if he still wanted me to do these things at school and he said yes. So for now, that is what I am going to do. Hopefully she has more sense than to show up...I will leave and it will upset SS. But, I will not have a confrontation with her and I won't let her make me feel bad about overstepping for SS.