I have disengaged in my house this week and it is not getting any better. My SD and her Dad had an argument last night and he grounded her from everything. She somehow got a phone and called the BM and she called the husband to tell him to lay off SD. 45 minutes later and he is so frustrated, that I offered to move back to my house since it has not sold. She told the mom about me correcting her on silverware when setting the table and making her use a side door to come in the house. She was carrying two bags and a guitar and when she and the other kids come in through the garage door, they scratch my car. This is not new. As for the silverware, how many times do you have to tell a child that we don't eat with Salad Forks? 5-10-15 at what point do they learn? I give in.

I posted the following on a widow site that I used to visit all the time. It helped me out after my husband passed away. I can't go on there very often because they are at different stages in their grief and won't understand a new marriage. This one doesn't feel right, because I really don't want to be a stepparent anymore. He said after the call that it would be so easy to give up and let his daughter live with her mom. But, if he does that he knows she wouldn't be everything she could be and if he did that our marriage wouldn't survive because he would blame me.

......Just to preface this, It has been awhile since I have been on here. Last week was 8 years since I lost my husband. I recently re-married to a nice guy with two kids. We moved in and the blending began. I thought losing my husband and a child two years before that was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. But, trying to combine two sets of parenting styles and dealing with a difficult teenager who would rather not have a stepmom has been absolute hell. Let alone trying to deal with ex-wives and combining household furnishings. Who knew I would care so much which artwork and couches to keep or sell?

It makes me miss my late husband more and more and resent him dying. I wanted to grow old with him. I didn't want to try to make another marriage work. It just should. This shouldn't be this hard. I went off on the therapist last week (6mos. married and already needing a therapist) for refering to my late husband as my ex. I told her I was offended by that, that I didn't choose for him to leave. If he was alive we would still be married no matter what problems we had. She was shocked at my adamant reaction. I still get pissed off at people for assuming I was divorced. Believe it or not, it still happens. My husband's reaction was that I over reacted.

Blending this family has been hell,so I found a website similar to this for stepparents. But, I miss this site. For the first 5 years it was my lifeline. So many friends that got it. I know I don't fit on here anymore, since I am so far from the grieving process. But, I don't feel like this marriage is going to work either. We dated for 4 years and went slow because of my past and the kids. I don't think it was slow enough. These 2nd marriages are harder than the first. Only good thing is that their are not two ex's to deal with. I am just wondering if we can make this work.....

I am just not sure what to do anymore, he is miserable and I am tired of being the bad guy. I was finally starting to be happy with my life when he proposed and now, I feel like I am going back years to grieving again.