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New lies

JRI's picture

My SD59 never fails to amaze.  Her lies and fantasies are never-ending.  Im posting for your entertainment.

Her daughter, SGD29, "M", is a teacher and the mother of a 5- month old.  Mother and daughter have had a strained relationship for years due to SD59's many misdeeds, including draining M's college fund causing M to finance her education with student loans.  Since the birth, they have grown slightly closer altho M wisely keeps her at arm's length and is wary.

M has had some digestive health issues lately.  She was in the hospital awhile for tests.  SD59 called the other day and spoke with DH at length.  He looked grave, said, "that doesn't sound good" and said, here, tell JRI.  SD59 was in tears, said M's tests don't look good, said a nurse family member had come over to M's house to explain the condition and console her, said she probably only had months to live, planned to go to her house today to clean, cook, do whatever to support M, planned to take food, planned to create a support group of relations to send in meals, babysit and clean,  SD59 was sobbing, said her therapist had offered to do a 3-way with M, was praying, can't eat,  couldn't sleep, "why her?", poor son-in-law, etc.  

I have been through too much with SD59 to believe anything she says and suggested she wait until M's next Dr appt in 2 weeks to hear the definitive word.  I also said the best thing she could do for M was to take care of herself, eat, sleep.  Since the call, I haven't discussed with DH.

M texted me last night to say she's fine and she doesn't know why her mom is telling everyone she has cancer. I wasn't able to talk to her until today.  She is fine, is on meds for her condition, is back to teaching on-site some.  She called out SD59 on her lies but SG59 denied telling everyone she had cancer.  I told M I don't believe anything unless it's verified and asked her to do the same if she heard "news" about me.  She laughed and agreed.

Disengagement works, guys.

 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Wow... sounds like SD really needed some attention, huh? It is a sickness alright. Too bad there is no cure for CRAZY!

JRI's picture

I'm not sure how she was going to spin this into money but M told me SD59 had asked her dad, SD59's ex, for money last week.  He gave her a small amount, say $20.  So then yesterday, he saw her following him in her car.  She asked for $ again but he said no, told M he learned his lesson.

BPDHell's picture

That IS how disengagement works! Beautiful!

My SM sounds just like your SD59. I have learned to verify everything she says on my own because of stuff like your story above. For reasons that only a team of psychologists could figure out, she despises my grandma, who is the sweetest person I know! She's constantly telling anyone who will listen BS stories about how senile she is, how unbearable, what a narcissist, and "OMG can you believe the lies coming out of her mouth!" That's a mirror she's looking in.lol She is now telling everyone my grandma is lying about her cancer being back (she had been in remission), but I help my grandma understand her lab results, I KNOW her cancer is back. And my dad wonders why he never sees me or hears from me.lol *smh*

JRI's picture

My SGD asked, rhetorically, why does she do it?  I told her that after years and years of dealing with it, I think normal life is boring to her so she ramps up and creates drama.  Of course, that leads to more drama as people confront her.  The answer is not responding or responding minimally.

 I am not even discussing it with DH, other than I told him, "M says she doesn't have cancer".  He's the one who called people with her story, let him get the blowback, especially from YSS who always tries to open his eyes that she's a liar.

CLove's picture

With Toxic troll its a never-ending hunt for the agenda. Theres always a small grain of truth embedded in there.

Its exhausting emotionally dealing with these toxic people.

JRI's picture

You are right, there's always a small grain of truth.  In this case, it's, "M is being treated for a pancreatic issue ".

It's little less exhausting now that I don't let myself react.  Now, I need to work on not letting it take up more brainspace.

 

caninelover's picture

To be so bored that making up a story about your own daughter having terminal cancer is completely twisted.  What a psycho.

JRI's picture

I think it was Exjuliemccoy who said, "If her lips are moving, she's lying".  My mantra.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I learned that from my DH's younger daughter, JRI. She's the one with BPD who told people DH had died of brain cancer instead of admitting she'd burned her bridges with us. She also claimed to have breast cancer (at twenty!) and a certain autoimmune disease. She got caught out on the last lie, because one of DH's sister has it. YSD had even researched specialists in the area, and just so happened to claim she was being treated by the same doctor SIL was seeing. SIL asked the office staff if her niece Jezabel Jones was a patient, and she wasn't.

It's so sad that your DH still takes what your SD says as gospel. Thank goodness you see through her crazy, and that her daughter does, too.

 

Kes's picture

OMG, that is pathetic.  I think if someone did that I'd be tempted to estrange them forthwith.  My first boyfriend lied about having cancer and when I found out I dumped him, pronto.  

JRI's picture

I was rereading some of my blogs and these fantastic lies seem to be coming once a month lately, toward the end of the month.  I sense its all tied to her financial probs.  Her disability comes on the first snd shes broke by about the third week.

In November it was the marvelous boyfriend who was in love with her, buying her things, pledging his love and devotion, only to be outed as a married cheater. Translation: she had an internet hookup that didn't work out.  In December, it was the elaborate family party she planned for 10 people with dozens of dishes.  Translation: her 3 kids came one at a time to pick up their gifts.  This month, it's her daughter's cancer and imminent death. Translation: her daughter has a digestive problem.

I need to keep all this in mind when I have to talk to her.  Maybe I'm just naive, I'm not used to dealing with lying manipulators.

strugglingSM's picture

Your SD sounds like an attention-seeking drama queen for sure. Glad to hear that your SGD sounds normal

JRI's picture

When we spoke the other day, SGD said something about me having had to put up with SD's lies and manipulation for years.  I said yes, but you had to live with it.  Those kids  - we weren't really tuned in during their young years, we were both working and their dad was very stable and kept it all together.  Things began to unravel about 10 years ago when SD's drug addiction amped up plus she was running around on her husband and blowing every dime she could get her hands on, including the kids' college funds which her husband had slowly created.  That's when we got more involved with her but the poor kids had to grow up with her.  SGD and her brother, also their step-sister, have had the invaluable support and guidance of their dad, thank God.  They are both ok, older step-sister, SD's oldest, not so much.

Catmom024's picture

You might be on to something with these new patterns.  Mental illness can be cyclical and the cycles can be daily, weekly, monthly, etc.  My SO's kids always have arrests/major issues during the summer.  

Maybe her medication needs adjusting?

JRI's picture

Her medication may need adjusting but I will never in a million years inquire.  Drugs are her first and foremost favorite topic and she can go on for hours about them.  I personally find that subject crushgngly boring.  Plus, I think her whole "mental health" treatment is a joke, the psychiatrist and therapist.  She has changed so many times, whether her or the provider's decision, I don't know.  So unless they are terrifically perceptive, I assume she is lying and manipulating them like she does everyone else.

Ok, I feel better now.  Lol.