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Place your bets now, folks

JRI's picture

SD59 is on disability which she receives around the first.  She is usually broke by month end and I've noticed a pattern where we hear some fantastic, tragic, emergency or stupid story in the last few weeks of the month.  The goal is to soften up DH so he will give her more money.  In the last few months, we've heard about the new man who bestowed lavish gifts only to be outed as a married cheater (probably an internet hookup that didnt work out).  Then there was the fantasy Christmas party she planned to host for family.  The topper was the dramatic story of her daughter's cancer diagnosis and imminent death, later found to be a treatable digestive disorder.

So, she has been radio silent for weeks.  Today, the 25th, she called DH and I overheard his side of a long conversation.  She spoke a long time and I could hear alarm in his voice as he asked her questions.  When he got off the phone, he said she was coming over tomorrow to cut his hair.

Place your bets now, folks.  What will the story be this month?


Jcksjj's picture

She rescued a starving kitten and spent all her money at the vet and nursing it back to health just for it to accidentally get outside and run over by a car.

Stepdrama2020's picture

and being the good samaratin she chased that car down. Now she suffers from PTSD and has flashbacks and just cant cope.  So now she is broke and broken . 

JRI's picture

I wish she were only smoking pot.  There are other pharmaceuticals going on.....

queensway's picture

HMM well a least you are smart enough to know that. So the best thing you can do is call her bluff every month.

JRI's picture

Ive been in her life for almost 50 years and its taken me a very long time to begin to understand.  Ive so often been sucked into her fantasies.  Nowadays, I am detached from her, I don't even react to anything she says.  I have to have independent verification of everything.  But mostly, I dont even bother with that, I just disbelieve everything.   My only concern is the effect on my 83yo DH.

queensway's picture

You put up with this for almost 50 years. I now claim you as ST. JRI. That is a long time to deal with this sh!t. I feel bad that your DH has to deal with this too. Life at 83 should not have to deal with a daughter at 59 who doesn't have herself together. That is just sad.

Gimlet's picture

Yeah, I get sad every time I read about this situation.  Way too long for someone as kind as JRI.

JRI's picture

We are so used to it, we are kind of numb.  My poor DH is the one I worry about.  He's so strong mentally but has this one weak spot, his concern for her.  The rest of the family avoids her as much as possible.  I'm not sure anyone even takes her calls anymore, wise since she is eventually asking for something.

CLove's picture

Or relationship related. Because thats how she rolls. Lets see, shes run through the cancer, and run through the I want to do something nice for FAMILY and then the emotional devastation of the man she wanted to marry being married.

I think this next one is the married cheater is stalking her and since shes disabled is unable to escape him. A little bit of fear sprinkled with victimology.

JRI's picture

Health is the old stand-by.  Her default is, " I don't have money for my medicine".  I'm thinking this one might be car trouble.  I think DH said something about her car.  

advice.only2's picture

Sad I had a friend like this, she only wanted to "hang out" about mid month, and usually she would need something, be it gas money, groceries for her kids, or would I be willing to float her some anti anxiety meds till the next month.

JRI's picture

That's a bummer but so familiar.  What happened to her?

advice.only2's picture

The friendship ended after she felt I wasn't giving her enough anymore so she moved onto other friends who could satisfy her needs. Really it's very sad, she has valid disabilities, but is also addicted to pain meds. I see her on local pages for social media asking for donations of clothes and such and people provide for her and then I see her selling the same items she was provided a month later trying to turn a profit. She also always has some crisis, be it her vehicle or her child who are in desperate need right then and there and people will provide and then the next month it will be the same issue.

futurobrillante99's picture

I had a friend a long while back who was a pharma rep. She and I both took the Phen/Fen combo to lose weight. She called me to ask if I could front her the stimulant part and I said I wasn't comfortable doing that. She then showed up at my door in a very aggressive mood to try to convince me. When I stood my ground, she was very angry with me and said I wasn't being a good friend.

This was after babysitting her daughter overnight and her daughter begging me for the purple stuff her mom gave her to fall asleep everynight (cough syrup). This woman had addiction problems and she ended the friendship because I wouldn't hook her up.

A couple years later she passed away from some illness. I don't think it was cancer. It might have been heart related. Not sure, but she left her adopted daughter orphaned again. She was single mom who adopted from Guatamala. It was very sad.

advice.only2's picture

Jeeze that's awful. My ex friend has an auto immune disorder that with the medications she takes could cause fetal deformaties. She already had two children from a previous marriage and could barely afford them, but she got pregnant shortly after we stopped talking and had the kid. I was so angry when I found that out because it's like you already have two children and struggle and now you added another why...just so you could get more money for your EBT card? And the guy she had the kid with was a serial breeder in our town and had several baby mamas he didn't pay CS to already. It's sad because we knew each other all through high school and she really was a sweet person, until she got diagnosed with her illness and then she started taking the pills and she went down hill from there.

Survivingstephell's picture

Is it clear to her that after daddy is gone she is cut off from any help?  Is he setting her up for that day?    I worry that she will become a parasite on You and there will be no escape from stephell 


JRI's picture

Yes, if DH passes, she will have a problem.  It wont be my problem because I will move closer to one of my bios.  No way would I put myself in the position of being an old person dependent on her loving care.  She has 3 adult kids.  #1 isnt in much better condition than SD altho she has a good heart.  #2 son is kind of detached.  #3 is a teacher and new mom.  We have talked about her mom's future.  I told her a couple years ago, "Get married, have your career, buy a house, have your kids.  We are handling your mom for now but you know you'll have to step in eventually".  This daughter doesnt take any sh*t from her mom so that will be interesting but sadly, I will be out of town and won't see it.  Lol.

BPDHell's picture

I'm really glad to hear you say this! As you get older you will need to be protected from her, likely. My aunt, who is a ringer for your SD59, manipulated my grandparents and stole from them. My grandpa had good defenses against her when he was younger, but they fell as he became older and she became more aggressive. I think he was physically afraid of her at the end. I never admitted to him that I'm the one who reported her to APS and had her evicted with a no-contact order put in place. I hope I never see that piece of shit excuse for a human being again. Biggrin

JRI's picture

Im not actually afraid of SD (yet) but I woudnt put anything past her.  My DD told me not to accept any food from her and don't stand near the steps when she's there.  Good for you for protecting your grandpa.

justmakingthebest's picture

I am thinking health.... Disability won't cover a perscription that she can't live without and it is $937 a month! She will die without it. "daddy, don't let me die!"

Tried out's picture

to top "my kid, your grandkid, is dying from cancer."

But SHE could have cancer this time that needs an experimental treatment that insurance won't cover or she will die within the coming month. The doctors don't really think her body could stand the treatment but she is willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good.

Sound good?

JRI's picture

Sounds good so maybe she can keep that one for another month.  This time, it's car trouble.  She got DH to agree to an early payment for his haircut today so he raced out yesterday to meet her at their midpoint meeting place, a library parking lot.  Half an hour later he called, she wasnt there, worry and concern in his voice.  Had I heard from her?  "No, why don't you call her".  Her phone was messed up, like usual, he couldnt get thru.  So he came home.  She called later and off he went again, successful money transfer this time.  She had had tire problems (long story illustrating she is a victim of others' incompetence) .  Oh, and she cant make it here today, has several appointments.  

Just another day in SD wonderland.