The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Mother's Day
Mother's Day can be an emotional minefield for step-moms. I'm the 75-year old BM & SM of 5 who is thinking back over my steplife as I read the blogs & forums.
After 4 years of the 3 SKs going back & forth, they all moved in 1976-1977, one at a time, over a 9-month period. This was ultimately a good thing. But that was one of the most hectic periods of my life: hiring a contractor to add a bathroom & finish the basement (a huge mess not completed until Christmas Eve), enrolling each child in a new, more challenging school district, dealing with each SK's emotional reaction to the move, and handling all this while coping with my BKs' & my own feelings about the changes & a hyperactive DH in a demanding job.
After spending all my time, energy, money & emotion, i was blind-sided by the lack of recognition on Mother's Day. I almost cried. I'd never given Mother's Day much thought, it seemed like a "Hallmark holiday". But it was very painful, especially when the SK made a huge effort for BM who didn't seem to be spending much of her own time, energy, money or emotion. And, who was poisoning our situation with her lies, innuendos and mockery.
I had 1,000 bitter (and true) remarks about her on the tip of my tongue but realized A) they loved her, no matter what and what kind of a person would i be if i turned them against her (if that were even possible)?
After that year, i learned to get myself something nice to wear on Mother's Day, something good to eat, whatever it took to make me feel good. This was actually a DH problem, he wasn't (& isn't) good with gifts. Ultimately, they all learned to respond appropriately (& still do).
Be proactive, step-moms. Mother's Day can be rough. Only you understand what all you do for your family. Take care of you.
Happy (Step) Mother's Day!