I'm finally getting out
Me and fiancee moved in over a year ago and I realize it's time to move out. I was not aware of how bad her mental issues were. We moved into a BEAUTIFUL 3 bedroom apartment after I had lived on my own for almost 9 years. We did it all wrong. ALL WRONG. we had been together 2 years prior and I had contact with her then 7 year old daughter, but I hadn't had an extended stay with her you might say. I was completely unprepared to live with her daughter. We moved in and things were ok for a couple of months, then I started to notice the pattern of SD basically running the house with no discipline. Room a disaster, living room clutter everywhere, relying on mommy for literally EVERYTHING. She is 9 now and it wasn't gotten any better. Mom is constantly depressed so that means the house is an absolute wreck. She works from home and I come home and literally do all the chores. I've tried to be supportive. I've been trying to hold us together to make her realize that I love her and I want her to feel better, but I now realize that is not up to me. We argue constantly and finally this past weekend decided that maybe it would be better to spend some time apart. I was depressed about this at first and then I came home yesterday and looked at our absolutely destroyed cluttered home, including SD9's room that is a pig sty and has been ever since we moved in. I should've known it would be like that anyways becasue her room was a landfill at their last place, but I hoped for the best. I converted our extra room into a media room filled with entertainment stuff and my furniture for all of us to enjoy, at first I loved that room. That was until SD9 took it over and basically trashed it like she trashed her room. Mom doesn't want to deal with it I guess. I stopped giving my advice or observations months ago because they didn't work or would fall on deaf ears, so I let her do her thing. I don't feel confortable yelling or disciplining someone else's kid. I've never yelled at her once. She has severe daddy issues, still wets the bed every single night, while mom keeps buying nighties even though she hates doing the laundry every day. I can't do this anymore. When SD9 is at her dad's house, I'm completely fine most of the time, besides the filthy house. Every weekend I hear "I have alot of cleaning projects I want to get done this weekend." Every weekend I sit back and wait for it to happen, because I absolutly will help, but nothing ever happens. I want her to be happy, there's just no way for me to MAKE her happy.
With all that being said, I have finally come to the realization that the real reason I am leaving is because I simply cannot stand being around SD9. She's snooty, moody, does absolutely nothing for her self when she is completely able. She randomly says the dumbest things even for a kid and knows she isn't making any sense. Her fake laugh is pierced in my head for life. I now hate mac and cheese and those have become trigger words for me. Has severe identity issues that aren't helped when she is asked to dress like a girl at moms and dad doesn't care so she dresses herself as a boy at his house. She hears what she wants to hear and I'm sick of it. She doesn't hear discipline, only what mom says she will give her if she gets better. I'm mentally exhausted. If I don't see another stuffed animal for the rest of my life I will be completely okay with that. I'm tired of living in a house run by a 9 year old who does whatever the f she wants because she KNOWS she can. I'm moving to a one bedroom shack and I couldn't be happier. Thanks for reading.