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Emergency Order was granted, but...

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I haven't blogged in a while because we have been really busy. We had to travel to BM's home state, because she refused to return SD9. We are supposed to meet in the middle, but DH and I spent 9 hours there and BM never showed up. So we had to drive all the way to her home state and get the police to go and get her. This gave our lawyer the ammo to go back to the judge and ask for another emergency hearing. The judge granted us a hearing and the Guardian Ad Lidem was given an opportunity to speak to SD9. Here are some highlights from that conversation:

BM did tell SD9 that DH abused SD12. SD9 told her that she never saw anything and BM told SD9 that it only happened when she wasn't in the room.

BM never took SD9 to counseling like she claimed and SD12 isn't seeing a counselor, even though BM claimed in court that she was and that the counselor believed she was abused by DH. (The judge got very mad about this when the Guardian countered her with it).

SD9 did want to see her mom in the middle of the summer and not visit us for the 2 weeks, but it was BM who made her cry and told her to tell DH that it was because she was afraid of him.

SD9 is sucking her thumb, but that was happening before the custody shifted. It actually started when DH got transferred.

And here is the kicker: BM told SD9 to cut herself in the bathroom and cry uncontrollably and they would send her back to live with her.

The judge didn't hesitate to agree with us and cut off BM's contact. SD9 will not be visiting her, except for supervised visits while we are in the home state visiting my family. She can also travel to our state and have supervised visits. She is also forbidden to call the house anymore, except for one 5 minute conversation a week. If she steps out of line, her visitation will cease to exist completely.

I am so relieved that she will no longer have this contact with SD9. She was told not to tell SD9 about this order and to bring her immediately to DH and me. She took 45 minutes to bring her and she did tell her. So SD9 has been crying uncontrollably every night. I hate hearing it. You can hear the pain in it. And, it just tears me apart. I am not sure how to handle this. We all start back up in counseling next week, as SD9 admitted that she is afraid of DH. Mostly, she is afraid because DH tried to have SD12 committed when she threatened to hurt herself. Well BM told the girls that it was a punishment and that he would do the same to SD9 if she stepped out of line. I really hope that SD9 will heal and be okay. I wish I felt better about this.

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

This made my blood boil reading it. Her own mother is putting her through all of this pain. That woman needs to be banned from ever having contact with ANY child. That kind of abuse is something that could destroy a child. Wow. I just can't believe a MOTHER would do this to her kid. That is so beyond effe'd up.

Tuff Noogies's picture

what an evil, evil, vile creature she is.

OP, you and your dh have done the right thing. let a counselor talk her through this, and after a few sessions they may have ways for you guys to help things along at home.

SourGrapes's picture

BM told a small child to CUT HERSELF? Oh my good god, that is so awful and sad. My daughter is almost 9 and she has so much faith and trust in me. I can't imagine violating that trust EVER let alone just to screw with her dad. I sincerely hope that BM is required to get counseling herself.

I'm sorry your family is dealing with this.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

CP, how awful!! I honestly cannot believe that this p!ss-poor excuse for a mother is allowed to have ANY child living with her. Told that baby to cut herself?? I'd like to drop a mountain on her freaking head. So sorry you're going through this. Sad

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Agreed, LF, I never meant SD12 should live with CP. Only that there should be NO children with that...woman. :sick:

onwednesdayswewearpink's picture

Jesus what an evil woman. She will get better and eventually this will be a distant memory. As far as bedtime goes, what about switching up the routine and making a new normal at night time? Like after showers start a new craft that you two can do together, like scrap booking or crocheting or something that just you two can do together for an hour. Maybe it would take her mind off of it.