Took years to realize it's not a step family issue
It's not the skids, it's probably not BM, but I think it is DH.
All the issues would probably be there if DH and I were a "first family" since I think he has Aspergers. After reading that article about how neurotypical (NT) wives of AS husbands lose twice (see my previous PAS post), I have been doing some reading up on AS.
He's not a rocking, no eye contact, non-verbal autistic person, he can put on a face and act as is appropriate in social situations and most people may not guess (unless they compare OSS and DHs behavior as OSS is even more typical AS but not diagnosed).
It's not just guilty daddy, weak-willed stuff, and just related to step life. All the situations where I'm so frustrated are appearing in support forums for partners of people with AS. The issues in step life are just symptoms and manifestations of the AS attitude and thinking...is my unqualified guess.
And I think I need to go to therapy. First to whine about it 'cause I have no one IRL I can bitch to, second to get some emotional support since I'm not getting that from DH, and third to see if it might be true.
Anyone else have an AS DH? Was he willing to get diagnosed? Was he diagnosed? Did he get any help? Did it help?