I am new to this site. My husband and I have had our fill of challenges blending our new family and it has nothing to do with the kids. His ex wife chose to leave him 6 years ago for her best friends husband. These 2 couples were friends that vacationed together & hung together. The affair went on for months until her best friend's husband intercepted a text message. The divorce was ugly and there was a lot of "trickery" and "theft" of money and all sorts of nasty stuff to the innocent spouses. Well - as adults - well people move on. My husband was single for a couple years and I was divorced for 6 months when I decided to join a dating service - we met - and I moved a year later in with him - put an addition on the house that he bought his x out of - and kids were doing great.

The X-wife encroached on our time constantly. She teamed up with my husband's mentally ill mother who previously hated her and they tried to spread rumours about me that I was a con-artist trying to steal my husband's home - I was an alcoholic - that I brought head lice into the house. I'm a highly educated very honest hard working reputable person who in fact at just as much equity to bring into the relationship & in fact MORE.

Well - the X-wife and the grandmother have worked together to try to get me out of the house using various harassment methods none of which were blatent and all under the radar. It didn't work.

Then they worked on the kids more. I was living with my husband for 2 months when I realized the amount of undermining & backstabbling & brainwashing the X was doing about their dad. It was pretty blatent. Well - my husband doesn't like to ruffle feathers & allowed his X to do what she did.

Result is that my husband is still struggling with my step-son in counseling trying to repair my husbands relationship with his son. They have my step-son convinced that they are the only 2 people in the world he can trust. We have 3 other THRIVING kids here - 2 of my own and 1 my step daugther. He is the oldest and his mom has done a number on him tearing him apart.

We are right now being told he is uncomfortable in our home. We really get no explanation. We are good people & have a very very peaceful home. Not yelling - we are organized - average - more functional than many homes. Nonetheless - the pressure is on my step-son to hate his dad and I and that is what pleases his mom most. SHE is the only one that really cares. It is a complete emotional brainwash & I blame part of it on my husband now for not fighting back faster & sooner and letting too much slide.

So we continue onward - and my step son being a teen has more incentive to live with mommy. Mommy is lying to the counselor about a parenting plan that the couselor has put in place to stop his video game/electronics addiction. Our step son knows that he can go to her house and do whatever he wants. No chores - and mom will tell the counselor he is amazing in her home.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this? We have some ideas - but the counselor somewhat believes the X and sometimes not.