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Finally some peace

IAMGOOD's picture

Well SS has been gone for a short time and it is on one hand feeling of peace with some sadness. I am realizing how much he was affecting everyone's comfort level and happiness in our home because of his own unhappiness. Really sad because he we know he is overall an unhappy person so hopefully this is a tremendous growth opportunity for him. Some personalities can't handle divorce. Why do 3 out of 4 kids handle the change and one kid not? Comes down to personality. My husband was telling me that since he was 5 he can remember him having social issues mixing in with other children. He would always run to mommy. Now he has mommy all the time!!! 16 years old and has mommy 100% of the time. I do truly hope he finds happiness. My guess is he will find depression & realize we weren't his problem. But if we were his problem then "bye".

Life is full of change. Divorce is terrible for the kids - all of them. It is a true test of the human spirit - is that kids glass half empty of half full? Can they adapt? I am not talking about divorce that includes other factors like poverty or an alcoholic/drug addict parent or an abusive parent or serious blatent fighting between the co-parents. Surely these two co-parents aren't working fantastic together, but, not fighting.

I do think some kids can do better because of their own emotional status. I think SS has aspergers and social anxieties. SS has a mother that loves him and adores him and they are both a lot alike in so many ways. That is positive. Problem is she has a ton of insecurities and jealousy issues and what I call a very "honey boo boo" attitude and has wrapped her emotional cord around this young man. To him, she is the one and only person in the world he can trust. If and when her current relationship fails, she will lean on him as he leans on her.

So he is in the right place now until his persepctive can enlarge and the cord gets cut.



IAMGOOD's picture

yup. That's what family & friends before the divorce said. Of course mom tried to play it out that his sadness is attributed to his new step mom coming into his life and that where I have had had to toughen up and say "Bull Sh$t"! Growing up I remember my family was intact but watched my brother cause constant disruption in our home. I feel he has a personality disorder. SS has a personality disorder as well. The likeness between these two is uncanny.