GBM interfering on DH's time
SD told us a few days ago that her ear has been hurting and was saying it was the outside. I said maybe it's a pimple or that she slept on it wrong. She told me that's also what BM said. Yesterday before DH took her to camp, he asked if it was hurting too much and she said no. She had a doctor's appointment at 3pm to look at it and said she'd stay at camp until then.
DH and I took my dad to lunch yesterday to announce the pregnancy to him. In the middle of it, BM and SD are telling DH that he needs to pick SD up from the urgent care that is 20 minutes away. GBM got called for some reason about SD's ear pain instead of DH and he didn't know about her medical care until AFTER she was being treated then expected to pick her up at the drop of a hat.
He is very busy during the day and shouldn't have even went to lunch with us but it was important to us to tell my dad about the baby. Dad was very excited, by the way. He still thinks he's too young to be a grandpa, though lol
So since I had picked DH up for lunch, we had to get SD from the urgent care from GBM before taking him back to work. SD has told everyone under the sun about the baby because she's excited and GBM congratulated me. She's nice and well liked but she's also BM's mom and I know she has her own agenda. She loves SD, yes, but DH let BM know how displeased he was with her mother stepping in for medical intervention without so much as consulting him. BM actually AGREED with him and said that she'll talk to her mom.
SD did end up having a bacterial ear infection so I don't understand why the outside of her ear was hurting but I haven't had an ear infection for over 20 years so I don't remember what it was like. SD is staying home with me today and relaxing and seems to be fine. We gave her a heating pad to lay her head on and I hope she gets better soon. I am also surprised that BM is letting DH be a dad. When BM took SD to the urgent care on DH's time before, she wouldn't give him the insurance card and insisted she take SD for a foot injury. Xrays were done and nothing was wrong that time.
- I love dogs's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Did bm have another kid?
Did bm have another kid?
Succubus magically became somewhat cooperative after she and her H received custody of his nephew. She had to prove to him that she could coparent, but it was always superficial and she just alienated in more subtle ways.
Maybe your bm has truly had an awakening and wants to be a better coparent. Maybe not. I'm a cynic lol. But I take the win whenever it comes along.
Yes her kid is almost 5. She
Yes her kid is almost 5. She always claimed SD was her #1 but hardly paid attention to SD after her other kid and SO came into the picture, creating her attitude problem. Maybe SD's attitude problem came from being BM's kid and BM stooping down to a kid's level to argue all the time. SD had always run the roost.
I really hope she wants to be a better coparent. She is GBM's little minion and GBM loves the heck out of DH even though she is overbearing. Even when DH and BM were "together" he had to tell GBM to back off quite a few times. I'm also a cynic but hoping for my family's sake that she can be a grown up.
The reason I'll never trust her is because she and GBM go between the "we're all family" crap then turning around and making unilateral decisions because they can. I don't know why I did this to myself.
BM used to do this. We told
BM used to do this.
DH is not against SD getting
DH is not against SD getting medical care but she could've honestly waited for her Dr's appt for 2 more hours and he was annoyed that GBM swooped in then expected him to pick SD up when he wasn't expecting to. It worked out fine, I guess, and I went to the pharmacy to get the prescriptions. It's just annoying.
Yep. I agree it’s super
Yep. I agree it’s super annoying when BM wanted us to take kids to medical appts during her custody days. We told her that our off days are not meant to be sitting around serving her highness. She got the hint.
Haha I love that! I actually
Haha I love that! I actually told DH that I'm glad BM is letting him be a dad in our case. It was always her duty to take care of SD until popping more kids out proved that she isn't as great as she thought.
How did GBM check the kid out
How did GBM check the kid out of the summer camp? I would be going to chew them out. When we signed up the kids it was clear that they were to contact me or my partner first. That my mom was only if they couldn’t get ahold of us and even then they had to leave messages and give us reasonable time to return a call unless it was a real emergency. Think broken bone not ear ache.
The fact they didn’t even call you is screwy and I would be checking out the call and release list. We had to raise hell over the fact that they weren’t checking ID when we were getting the kids when we had to put BM on a do not release list. This was because it was our summer time and we were worried BM would find out where they were and go get them then we’d be out the rest of our time. She had already caused issues between the lawyers we didn’t put it past her.
I also want to know how GBM got the kid care without consent. It wasn’t an emergency situation so the center should have been demanding a parent be in contact. That’s one of our fears honestly. I can’t consent to any treatment for the kids so if it’s not life threatening we would have to wait for one of their parents.
It is a private camp and
It is a private camp and everyone knows "Moo Moo" or GBM. It isn't clear if SD called her herself or how she was the first to respond, but DH ripped BM a new one about that. This same school accepted the CO to release SD's grades to DH a few years ago but they STILL called BM to inform her and she called DH frantic because he actually has parental rights and didn't need her to get a report card.
I hate these women and I am starting therapy tomorrow because I need to learn to not give them so much space in my head. DH is the one who stuck his d!ck in crazy, not me, so I shouldn't have to carry the resentment about it.
I also think that GBM has a copy of SD's insurance card because she has always been on SD's emergency contact lists above DH. Heck, BM's baby daddy is on the emergency contact list before DH, too.
If I had the money I’d be
If I had the money I’d be speaking to a lawyer about sending paperwork making it clear that the camps behavior is unacceptable and possible lawsuits were the in future if they continued to release the child to the EMERGENCY contact before even speaking to the parents. Of course that’s a waste of money but you know a perfect world where things actually happen how they should. At the very least raise hell.
However, I would still consider contacting the hospital. It doesn’t matter if GBM has an insurance card. She is not the child guardian and does not have power of attorney I’m going to assume. If she does the following does not apply. The hospital has no right to treat the child without consent from either of the parents. Now maybe BM gave the consent but otherwise there is real potential of a lawsuit for hippa and other violations. An ear ache while painful is not an emergency and a hospital cannot treat without consent which it doesn’t seem they got. At the very least the insurance can be contacted and the hospital held responsible for all cost in relation to care that was not authorized.
Really both of these things scare me. I’ve seen what happens when people who aren’t supposed to get the kids from whatever care provider there is. I work in a hospital and their behavior really worries me also. It all seems minor but it’s not.
DH will never challenge them.
DH will never challenge them. BM can still rip away 50/50 and stick to the CO which is 24 hours a month with no overnights so he can just be upset but he's already over it. It ends up bothering me more than him and that's why I'm scheduled to see a counselor tomorrow. These women take up way too much of my precious head space. I'd just like to think if I were separated from DH after the baby comes that I'd never be like BM and GBM.
If your partner has been
If your partner has been having overnights with the child and can prove it through documentation then BM has set a new precedent and it can be put into the court order. Of course that means DH would have to request it and most likely get a lawyer to enforce. It would be best to do it asap rather than wait for her to get pissy about something and withhold the child.
Now like you’ve said you can’t control DH you can provide him this information and support him but if he refuses to stand up for himself nothing will happen.
My partner was very giving to BM at the start. He would bend over backwards to keep her happy until I came into the picture. I set things straight. No more picking the children up at 10PM (they were 3 and 6), no more money on demand (he already gave her 200 out of his 500 check), and no more her running the house. When she pull sh*t we responded strongly to the point that he moved in with me because she started to jeopardize his job. In the long run it’s worked out better because BM knows it won’t be tolerated. BM wanted my SO at her beck and call so she could drop the kids and go play. When she learned that he wasn’t going to facilitate it and her father stopped she had to grow up a tiny bit and play the game our way which included a court order.