I don't get it-I really, really don't. To some extent, I understand the whole "Disney dad" as in let's do fun things eoweekend and let me buy you lots of stuff. These parents have limited time with their kids so they want to cram all this fun stuff into their time. It's not right, but I sort of get the motivation behind it.

But what I don't get is why would you not want to hold your kid accountable? Why would you NOT want to call them out on improper behavior? If my bio kids talked to me like a dog, you can sure bet I wouldn't be doing their laundry, cooking their meals, giving them rides. And I would have absolutely zero problems letting them know what I felt they did wrong. I don't worry-ever-about my kids getting mad at me for parenting them. If they get mad, oh well. That's just an opportunity for them to work on how to deal with that emotion properly.

My dh has spent nearly 15 years NOT holding my ss accountable. That's a big reason he is the hot mess he is. When he as younger-dh made up excuse after excuse for him and in front of him. Oh, he punched that kid in the face? Well, I'm sure that that kid must have done something first and ss felt he had to defend himself. Oh, he stole that money from that kid? Oh, that was just to get even for something that kid did to him? Or he's having a tantrum at age 12-including full out screaming and crying? I'm sure that is just because he has some emotional issues because his bm is a lousy bm. Sigh. In the last few years, dh has now realized that really it is just ss. It's just him-no one else. There are no excuses for his behavior other than that's what he wants to do. But even realizing this he will not hold ss accountable when actually speaking to HIM. He may say he holds him accountable when speaking with me, but then will just ignore ss if he says or does something heinous. True, easy enough to do since ss doesn't live here. But ss will sometimes randomly text dh these hateful messages. Dh does nothing. Then ss may call up months later (after refusing to speak to dh for months) and ask dh to buy him a very expensive item. Now dh doesn't buy it, but rather he just avoids the question or ignores it. Acts like everything is fine. I just don't understand the benefit of this. It's not like they have an actual relationship because dh is not even being "real" with him. And whats the benefit of dh letting him think it is ok for him to talk to people like he does and that these people will still want to interact with him? I see no benefit at all. It makes ss a lousy person, it keeps ss treating dh like crap, it prevents any true relationship-so WHY for gods sake?

This wasn't meant to be just a rant about dh as I know there are many parents that do this. And just not with cod's, but in normal 2 parent families I see it all the time. Parents unwilling to hold their kids accountable for anything. How do thy really think that is a good thing?