well finally saw and actually talked to H tonight after not really seeing him for 3 days because of both our school schedule and work schedule. Didnt end well OF COURSE never does when we see each other. We had a semi good day on Saturday when we had sd, but that was the only good day in a while.

In the short end of things, after keeping all this stuff bottled up for 3 months, I finally broke down and told my aunt after she saw some crap he posted on FB. then my SIL, after she saw the same stuff. Then my mom (who we live with) only because she heard me crying really loudly (and she was asleep) after he left. I didnt tell them everything, as I want to keep alot of that stuff between me and him, but just to get some insight. and I have come to the final conclusion after tonight's talk, that we are NOT going to be able to stay together if we dont try marriage counseling.

my mom doesnt like how he talks to me, and things dont go his way, he gets upset easily, my mom noted that as well. I asked H if he thought any of the things that have led us to this point were his fault. He said no. I realize that our problems started because of me. I can admit that, but I refuse to say that the end of the marriage will be based solely on my fault. He is not going to pull that crap with me. He had the nerve to say that he didnt need counseling, but that I did, and that if we went to a marriage counselor, they would agree to everything he was saying.I am going to bring it up again to him about going to counseling and if he still says crap like that, then so be it. and if the counselor does end up agreeing to everything he says then so be it. Atleast I tried to do something to save our marriage and if he refuses to go with me, then so be it, I'll still go, I could use some insight from a party who is not involved.