Sadly married 7 months. Only 7 freakin months and I am seriously considering divorce. Which honestly I have been thinking about in some degree over the past few months. I really feel like he pulled a bait and switch on me. But then part of me thinks, didnt I kind of know this before we got married??? I'm embarrassed, sad, dissapointed, angry, tired.

Since we have gotten married he has really stepped away from the house/me/my BS8.

I noticed that he is gone more then he is home. He always has to help someone with something. I think he is just trying to avoid being home.

When he is home, he sits in the family room (seperate floor) and doesn't really engage with me or BS unless we go down there.

He is a functioning alchoholic. I knew this going into the marriage. It didnt really "affect" us until AFTER marriage. His drinking time 5-9 during the weekdays. So he can't do ANYTHING that would entail him to not drink. Can't go to the park, can't go for a bike ride, can't go to dinner. Nope he's drinking.

I never expected much from him when it came to the house. I take care of all cooking and cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping. He took care of the outside stuff. But even getting him to do that stuff is like pulling teeth.

So literally he does nothing.

He brought home the bird against my wishes and now I am taking care of him. He lets the bird out, doesnt clean up the poop, puts the bird back in the cage and then will leave and not clean up the poop. I love the bird but its like taking care of a kid. And the fact that DH doesnt even care to clean up after him and leaves it for me.

I never expected much from him when it came to my BS8. But he would watch him when I went to Zumba (he was usually home during this time anyways) and if I needed to run to the grocery, run errands. All stuff that benefit our household. Nope he refuses to even help watch him for these things.

I do everything alone with my BS. I feel like a single mom. I sit at every soccer game and practice alone, every school function alone, sit at the playground alone.

And of course the skids....the anger and resentment there. The lack of respect from my own husband when it comes to the skids. He just wants me to shut up and not have a say in anything when it comes to the skids and I just have to take their abuse.

He is either acting like nothing is wrong or completely ignoring me and refusing to talk to me. Rejecting me.

I saw a counselor yesterday. She is the one who saw us for pre marriage counseling. I wanted to get her advice on how to talk to him.

She explained he has a different idea of normal and basically that "normal" is fucked up. Comes from DH's own mother who was awful. Think a Nancy Grace story. She was BAD.

I think DH thinks this is a normal marriage because this is what him and BM did for 16 years! 16 years married, but they were seperated more then they were together. Because he just doesnt want to talk about things.

This morning I did got out of him:

He wont be helping at all with my BS8. Not even while I go to the store. If I dont want to bring BS along to whatever, then I need to get a babysitter.

He wont be doing family stuff with me and BS8. He gets tired of hearing BS talk about his BD. DH said I'm not BS's dad. BS can go and hang with his dad.

BS will at times mentions his BD but just explaining things they have done. BS in no way is doing it to be mean to DH or to manipulate him. BS LOVES DH and wants him to be a father figure to him. BS has probably brought up his dad say 4/10 times??? and it's always something brief.)

Then he ended our 5 minute conversation with- I need to spend time with my kids. I need to be with my kids.

So I think in some way he thinks he needs he needs to chose his kids right now. He wont do family stuff with BS because of MY relationship with his kids. And he needs to be there for his kids right now.

Now let me recap and remind everyone that 3/4 skids are adults. That I have never told him he couldnt see his kids or have a relationship with his kids.

I'm so glad that he FINALLY wants to step up and parent his kids. That he FINALLY thinks its important to be a Dad, NOW, FINALLY, when its our marriage he really should be worried about.

I think it comes down to the situation with his kids. He wont do for my BS if I wont do for his kids, even though it's 2 TOTALLY different situations. He knows I expect him to be something in my BS's life. I wont have a man live with my minor child that has zero interest in him. I dont want my son growing up thinking this is what a family is and this is how a man treats his wife and kids.

In my head I am getting my exit plan. Not sure if I will need it or not. I need to get through the summer. I have a lot of financial obligations I need to take care of. (Wedding for a friend, BS birthday party, vet bills)

I just dont know what to do anymore. If he refuses to talk to me about the problems. If he refuses to work with me. If he refuses to address the issues and make an effort to work on them, then there really isnt anymore to say. He literally calls me crazy anytime I bring anything up. Tells me to get over it. Acts like he is zoning out when we are talking. It's sad. Really sad.

I love him and dont want to divorce. But I refuse to live my life when its like it currently is.

Any support and advice is appreciated. No snarky comments please. I am obviously already feeling low. I dont want to hear anything about how this is my own fault. NO I did not know that this is what would happen when we got married. If I did I wouldn't have married him. I had hope......