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for custodial Smoms; how did you deal with the transition from EOWE and/or 50/50 to full custody?

happymostly's picture

I love my sd 7, but I do not have any of my own children, and have never baby sat kids before. I've known sd since she was 3 and a half, and I STILL feel like my 'space' is being invaded. Now granted, for a lot of that time, dh and I lived long distance from each other, so I didnt see sd all that much, then for 6ish months, bm tried to keep sd away, and we havent been getting sd regularly like we used to.

I love her so I dont know why I feel that way. I think its because since I have never really been around kids/ have my own kids, I dont know really what to expect. and most of the time, we just have her EOWE, so the weekends have mostly been 'about her' (not so much just doing fun stuff, but I've put my things that I have to do, like studying for classes, on hold. and I dont feel very good about me watching her without dh around because i dont know 'what to do' if that makes sense. I might be thinking too much about it and not letting things flow naturally) Of course when we have had her for more than 4 days like on winter break, we had her for about 10 days, that transition was somewhat easier, although she wanted me to be with her alot, which I imagine will be like when I have children. So in between having sd around, if we ever did have her full time, I think i would be able to adjust after a while and not feel guilty for doing something else besides playing with her, because she wouldnt be leaving soon. I dont mind playing with her at all, but I feel guilty sometimes if I dont feel like it because we dont see her that often. but at times, I do like it just being me and dh because I dont feel like my time/attention is being invaded.

but anyway, how did you guys adjust and/or if you ever did?