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My SD18 has lost her brain cells to pot and college

HappyCow's picture

Do ever feel like no one believes you when you tell them your SD18 is a lying manipulative girl in the shell of a seemingly all American perfect angel? When finally she starts to show her true colors and you are doing a happy dance on the inside. Family and friends start to say that maybe you aren't the evil bitch that hates SD18 they always assumed you to be.

Here is a small sample of the last 6 months...

She accused her ex boyfriend of hitting her while she was driving them home from college. (Side note-she broke up with him 2 weeks after school started. They were soul mates who wanted to go to the same college as each other despite our warnings to her about choosing a school based on your high school soul mate) We ended up calling the police because we honestly thought that he slugged her the way that she came home and acted. We thought at the time we were doing the right thing. However, it turns out that she initiated the fight and was the instigator. He did push her to get her to stop which was wrong and it was all hashed out by the police and the fact that SD18’s roommate was in the back seat and saw the whole thing. She was able to tell the police the truth. Ex boyfriend was scared out of his mind by the cops showing up to the house. Even though no charges were filed the police did let the college know. Ex boyfriend decided to drop out. Ex did come to the house with his mother to apologize to SD18 for the push. DH pulled him aside and told him to stay far away from her even if she decides she wants him back.

Made the decision to stay home and work while we went to Myrtle Beach for vacation over New Years. I thought that she had such a good head on her shoulders. Turns out that she let her friend drive her car to find a good place to stop and smoke pot and was stopped by the police. Her friend took responsibility for the weed. However, there was enough that she could have been charged with distribution. Her friend was arrested and she was let go. The police officer told her that since he admitted it was his (friend) was going to decide what to charge her with and would let her know during the time that we were gone. She didn’t go on vacation with us because she knew that officer was going to contact her. While I was enjoying a relaxing vacation she was asked to come by the police station to speak with the officer about her charges. She freaked out and called our neighbor who is a police officer with another area to go with her. Bless this man for not calling us on vacation to tell us what happened but told SD18 she has 30 minutes from the time we arrive home to tell us. She lied about the whole situation giving us a completely different story and then had to come clean when DH asked for the police report. She did admit to smoking pot to help her relax at school and it’s no big deal. DH told her that if she hadn’t tried to lie to us about what happened then he would have helped her pay for a lawyer. She paid for an attorney herself after we convinced her that if she ever wanted to be a physical therapist that having a pot bust on her record was going to derail any employment for her. Her friends were telling her it wasn’t a big deal and she should just plead PBJ. DH did join her at court and she ended up lucky with having to pay a fine and do 40 hours of community service by May 1st then she can apply to have it removed from her record. She waited until the last possible moment but she was able to finish in time.

She has gotten two speeding tickets in the last two months at the same damn place going over 15 miles per hour. She was just going to pay the fines until DH explained to her about points and our insurance will go through the roof. That’s two more days that DH has to take off of work to go to court with his kid.

She and her roommate have decided to hate each other so SD18 drives almost three hours home each weekend and then she disappears until very late at night reeking of perfume and smoke. I woke up a few weekends ago to find a lighter and Visine in the bathroom. I guess they fell out of her pants while she was high and going pee. DH has put his foot down about the late nights and the smoking pot. She now spends most nights with her BFF whose parents don’t care about the late nights and pot

She announced that next year she is going to go to community college and live at home! Hooray for us. Not that this is a bad thing. I think it’s very smart of her to save money. I just don’t know about the stress level is going to be with her loosing most of her brain cells to pot.

I know that kids will be kids and everyone makes mistakes but this kid has decided to make all of her bad decisions within a 6 month period. It’s exhausting.

Comments

windee's picture

THANK YOU!!! OMG!!! I am dealing with a lot of the same issues & I believe in what you are saying COMPLETELY!!!! DH & I DO NOT agree on a lot when it comes to SKID!!! We both agree that skid shouldn't smoke pot and WILL NOT HAVE IT IN MY VEHICLE THAT SKID IS DRIVING OR INNOUR PROPERTY!!! SKID now has own vehicle to drive ( b/c of US AGAIN (that's another story) but I still don't believe that skid is not smoking pot now. ANYWAY!! I didn't mean to take over your post but it just made me feel so relieved to see what you wrote and know that someone else feels the same way!!! So tired of supporting an 18, fixing to turn 19, no job, sit or laying around all day, do absolutely NOTHING but play video games skid!!!! Tired of the arguments with FH about skid, we are just fine except for when it comes to skid!!! Thank you for your post!!!!!

Fade to black's picture

Oh man. I am a long time lurker but felt compelled to comment. I have been following your blogs for a while since we have the same SD only two years apart. It is uncanny how the two are alike, the BM's are alike, and DH's are alike. As if looking in a mirror 2 years in the future. I will be checking for updates:/ In the meantime, stay strong!!