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SD is "depressed"..

donewithdrama35's picture

It's been awhile since I've posted which is a good thing! On one of the best days of my life SD18 left the state and went to college nearly 2 months ago! DH and I have been loving life and enjoying time together like we never got to before. Ex-psychoe and the misery she brought into our lives has been becoming a distant memory... things are just TOO good.

So yesterday DH gets a text from psychoe which is a forwarded message she received from SD18's friend at school. She met this girl online before she went to college in some group chat of kids going to her school. For some reason SD18 seems to choose friends who all have drama in their lives & they feed off eachother. They create bull$hit problems that don't exist because their privelged lives are just soooo hard. 

So DH receives this forwarded text which is a short novel detailing that SD is horribly depressed and afraid to tell psychoe or DH for fear of disappotining them. Why is SD depressed you might ask? Oh well it's very very serious... "all the other kids at school drink and smoke and she's having some serious FOMO (fear of missing out)". Are you F&#$ing kidding me??? I coudn't read the whole message because I was immediately beyond pissed off. What a joke. DH is forking out nearly 40k a year for her to go to her private school in an expensive city and she's sad. Well TFB! The best part I read... in this girls opinion "SD shoud really be talking to  therapist"... oh yes! On top of college tuitions, alimony, "child" support and everything else lets fork over hundreds of dollars more a month so she can go whine like the snowflake she is to a therapist. SD is extemel judgmental about anyone who drinks or smokes pot. Look- I'm not encouraging anyone to do it. But not everyone who does is an alcoholic or pothead. Because psychoe was an alcoholic for 5 minutes who HAD to go to rehab a few years ago (drama stunt after we got engaged) SD18 is NEVER EVER going to drink. TBH- I wish she would. Might help remove the stick from her a$$.

We dealt with this sort of thing for years with OSS23. He's a functioning trainwreck. I'd venture to say DH spent 10,000+ in medical bills. About a year ago he spent a few weeks in a psychward after a supposed suicide attempt which I question even happened. He was at pscyhoe's at that time and she has a tendency to exagerrate things. But none the less the threat was taken seriously. Magically a month of two later he started getting laid (forive the vulgarity) and all his problems magically went away. WOW. 

Soo here we are again. Now it's SD18's turn to cause problems and F#%K up our peace and happiness. What is with these kids these days??? My DH said the other day that he thinks kids who grow up poor don't have these same issues... I tend to agree most of the time. But, I didn't grow up poor. We weren't rich but my parents worked hard and we had a beautiful home and I had everything I could want. I didn't go to college. I worked FT from 18 on.and never caused the problems for my parents these kids cause.

So DH told psychoe to deal with it because she and SD are "besties"! I just fear this will turn into the same $hit we dealt with before. Psychoe will blow up DH's phone with calls and texts and he will have to take them becase it's about SD. I pray this won't turn into the same $hitstorm but I'm bracing myself for impact. 

Thanks for listening! Also- please no comments of "LEAVE HIM" or "RUN". I hate that. I feel like I have to add the disclaimer that I very much love my DH and while I wish he didn't have children or an ex-wife I wouldn't ever want to live my life without him. OK...tha'ts all! Kind of hope I don't need to post again anytime soon Smile :) 

 

Comments

Peach's picture

BTDT.  I think that these kids are so spoiled and entitled that they constantly have to have this attention on them.  My SD did the same thing when she went to college.  "50 shades of cray" just ate it up.  She left youngest SK with us for 2 months straight so that she could travel to be by SD's side but away at a safe distance (whatever that means).  She went to where SD is going to college and stayed in that town to be available in case SD needed her.  Of course, although we had SK fulltime, we still needed to pay child support.  I can tell you it doesn't get better.  One situation will be over and another one will pop up.  Hang on for the ride, my friend.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I used to work in an inner city school district. Kids who grow up poor absolutely do have these issues, everyone does. How it's handled determines if they get over it and become self-supporting adults.

Counseling doesn't have to cost as much as that. Is she on health insurance? Also, expensive colleges sometimes charge a fee for student health services. Your DH may have already paid for available counseling when he paid her bill.

It doesn't have to be some big drama with constant texts, calls, and communication with BM. It can be just like going to the doctor for anything else. I have had both of my kids in counseling and tbh, i haven't really talked to my ex at all about it except to inform him about my daughter, because she is still a minor.

My son went when he was 18 and all i did was find the covered therapist. He made his appts and drove himself. I let him decide what to tell his dad. SD is an adult and your DH doesn't have to go through BM anymore. I hope he doesn't engage in the drama with her. 

tog redux's picture

All of this. Depression and anxiety, and suicide, are on the rise in young people. It has nothing to do with money, either. 
 

OP, you seem to not believe mental health issues are real, but no one spends weeks in a psych hospital for nothing. Parents coddling and enabling kids certainly can cause some of this, but life is different than it was when we were all younger. 
 

She should be able to get therapy for free at her counseling center at the college, or at most, for a co-pay. 

Tried out's picture

is that colleges expect students to need mental health support and provide counselors right on campus. One of my kids needed some help in his first year and the counselor did help. I think it was a free service. If it was me, I'd check out college website and see what's available and make sure SD made an appointment to see someone. And then step back and hope for the best. And tell BM to f*ck off.