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DH stood up to SD18, whoa.

Shieldmaiden's picture

I survived another weekend with the depression twins! SD18 has gone from sullen angry snappishness to wierd ghostly silence, while SD16 occasionally rants at DH for being a slob. 

We sat down to dinner when they arrived. SD18 drifted over to the corner like a pale ghost, ignoring everyone when they said hello. DH apparently had enough of her "living in her fantasy world" BS, and called her out on it. He said "When you ignore me it hurts me. You are hurting me with your attitude. If you have a problem, I am happy to help you with it, but I am not going to sit here and play 20 questions to drag it out of you. While you are here, you will communicate with me. The way you are acting is unacceptable. You are wasting time. Do you have a plan for your life?" 

SD18 replied that she will not speak to him unless its "in private," and that she will do that when SHE feels like it. She said her plan is to sit at home and do nothing." 

DH got annoyed and told her she doesn't dictate every conversation, and she won't survive in the real world if she thinks she can do that with others. SD has been pestering him to buy her a car or van to live in. He told her "when you get your driver license, I will get you a car." So SD is making BM let her practice driving every other night.(So at least she is working towards that. ) Her attitude is still one of "lets see if we can push daddee to buy us a car that we can't even drive legally." 

Oddly enough, SD16 chimed in at dinner and said "Daddee, I don't want you to take SD18's attitude personally, because she is ALWAYS rude to EVERYONE. There is no point in yelling at her. She will NEVER change." DH got annoyed at SD16 for "assuming things about her sister - that its her sister's choice to change or not to change."  So, even SD16 is fed up with SD18's behavior. 

Meanwhile on the crazy BM Front.....SD20 is giving DH some juicy gossip about BM. BM apparently is affording her lavish lifetstyle by taking out home equity loans on her house, which she is now struggling to pay. (Thus the new live-in, rent-paying, boyfriend.) SD20 says BM is "freaking out."  I laughed my butt off over that, since we have been living on a budget for years to afford to give her all of our money for CS, while she blew it on fancy vacations that the kids rubbed our noses in. Its nice to see her ways are catching up to her.      I am secretly hoping that SD20, who is realizing she may have bipolar and needs medication, will see her sister and help her realize that she needs meds too. SD18 might actually listen to her sister, but she won't listen to us.


Shieldmaiden's picture

She lives primarily at her BMs house. BM lets her do whatever she wants, so its unlikely she will ever want to leave. DH and I already agreed she won't live with us full time unless she has a job and and a rental agreement. I will evict her myself if she tries to live with us without honoring the agreement that she have a job and pay rent. No f*ing way am I going to put up with that. I told DH our marriage won't survive her living here full time, and he believes me.

JRI's picture

I'm impressed!   Your DH is seeing the light!  Good for him!

Rags's picture


Good on DH.

Hopefully this is a commited zero tolerance for Skid shit new normal for DH.


Shieldmaiden's picture

Yes, I am seeing a real change in him. Its taken years, but he is starting to see how it works out badly for other men who are "fixers." Ie: men who jump in and fix things for the people they love, at the expense of letting those people learn to do for themselves. Also, usually this is done at the expense of the fixer's own health and happiness. The fixers end up never having a break, and supporting these people the rest of their lives.