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Another oldie but goodie...the birthday party

halo1998's picture

A post about sharing holidays reminded me of the great birthday party for GW (SS18).

Somewhere around the time that DH and Beaver finalized their divorce, GWR was about 6 at that the time and DH hadn't really shined up his spine yet in regards to Beaver and the two kids.

Beaver called one night while he watching TV and wanted to "talk".  This was before DH put his foot down and said no more calls unless someone is bleeding and needs the ER.

Chit chat...what Beaver has been doing, etc.  Dh finally asks, what does she want?

Beaver says she has "a good idea".  Beaver's goes on how it's GWR's birthday and he should see his parents together and its important they do birthdays' and holidays together.  DH is skeptical because he would rather sit in hell than spend time with Beaver but he asks what she has in mind.

Beaver wanted to rent out a large trampoline place and invite her family and friend to celebrate GWR's birthday.  DH could pay for the trampoline place and Beaver would pay for the cake and "stuff".  (What stuff..not sure on that since the place won't allow many decorations, etc. I know my BS had two parties there when he was little).  

DH said he would think about it and that sure his family and friends would like to bring their kids to the trampoline park.  Oh my sweet DH...that is so not what Beaver had in mind.

Beaver promptly informed him that No his family and friends would not be invited.  That would be too uncomfortable for her to have his family and friends there. Therefore, only her family and friends would be invited.  DH suddendly realized there was a game afoot.  He told Beaver he would think about it and let her know.  

DH called me and wanted to know what I thought...

I told Dh..let me get this straight..you pay for the trampoline place to the tune of about $400 (Beaver wanted the most expensive package) and she pays for the cake and "stuff".  For your money you get to go..but no one else. Mmhhm....so in essance she wants you to pay for a party where you will be shunned and alone and I will bet my pay check you will not get to see GWR or SD the whole time because her family will make sure they are occupied the whole time.  If it were me that would be a HARD pass and I would do my own party.

DH..thought a second and said ..your right..she just wants me to pay for it.  DING DING....winner winner chicken dinner.

So....a few days later Beaver called DH again to see what his "thoughts" were on the party. DH informed her that it was a No, he has decided to pass on the party and would have his own party for GWR on another date. Beaver went into the whole spiel its for the "kidddddssss". GWR will be sooooooooooooo disappointed.DH stood his ground and said No.  Beaver then starts whailing she has already boooked the parttyyy....she will lose her deposit...what a piece of sh*t DH is since he won't pay for this for GWR.  All..DH your a terrible parent since you won't do this for GWR.  DH was like I didn't tell you to book the party so I guess if you still want the party you will need to pay for it yourself, or have your parents pay for it.

DH ended up having his own party at his house with his family.  ( I didn't go because we were not at that stage yet).  Beaver's parents ended up paying for the trampoline extravaganza.  This would be the last big birthday party Beaver would ever throw for the kids.  Apparently, if DH wasn't going to pay for a party, then there would be no party.

Moral of the story here..it wasn't for the "kiiiidddsss" it was so that Beaver didn't have to pay for a party.  Be wary of Beaver's bringing "good ideas"..they are never good.

Comments

Sparkl3s's picture

My DH actually paid for a BIG party at equally cheesy kid place and was told he was not allowed a plus one. I hadn't discovered StepTalk yet didn't really care. It was also the last big party DH paid for directly.

This must be like one of the entry levels in controlling BM playbook. 

advice.only2's picture

When DH and I first started dating Meth Mouth and her new husband had a bowling party for Spawn, DH was invited, but more he was invited to pay for his half of the party and then to leave. DH asked me if I wanted to go, that's a negative ghost rider! DH attended and said it was very uncomfortable because Meth Mouth kept giving him dirty looks wondering why he didn't just pay and leave. That was the last "party" Spawn ever had where DH was invited.

halo1998's picture

that made me laugh.  DH and I just watched that movie.  

Never ceases to amaze me what these "mothers" will ask for.

halo1998's picture

that made me laugh.  DH and I just watched that movie.  

Never ceases to amaze me what these "mothers" will ask for.

SeeYouNever's picture

Ha! 

BM used to ask my DH to help pay for parties he wasn't even invited to, and ask him to go halvsies on gifts that he wouldn't even be around for when SD opened them. She once demanded he buy SD a new ipad since she lost it while with us. She didn't lose it with us she never had it with us and thankfully my husband stayed firm about this because he was the one who bought her the lost ipad. My husband got on his account and deactivated it. 4 months later it was discovered in the car seat pocket of GBMs car. SD already had a new iPad at that point. 

At least Beaver tries to act like she is a manipulative genius, my SDs BM doesn't even lead with chit chat, she goes straight into demands. and then gets indignant and starts insulting my DH for being a lousy father when he won't give her what she wants.

I am pretty certain that SD is going to want a quinceanera (and then a huge sweet 16 and a car because of course). My husband has already said he is not going to be paying for these things.

SteppedOff's picture

It has to be a secret society these nutto birth mothers and step adults collude from!

Get a call a week before a 30 some step adult wedding requesting dear ol' dad pay for some wedding reception supplies and a dinner the evening prior. The dumbfounding part was he wansnt invited to the dinner he was asked to pay for. "My siblings will be uncomfortable if you guys are there...I don't know what I will do I don't have the money". To my surprise dear ol' dad told him to ask his siblings to pay for it!

These disordered people never change and will never know any boundaries.

halo1998's picture

let me see..pay for a dinner that your not invited to...mm...hard pass.

Hint here..PAY FOR YOUR WEDDING ya deadbeats.

CLove's picture

Toxic Troll lives in apartments, and they generally have a pool that she can lounge by or in. When Munchkin was much younger, she wanted pool parties with sleepovers, and Toxic Troll would host them. DH would pay for night before snacks, and day of pizza, as well as cake, a pinata and pool toys for kids. And we would both attend and sit there not doing much, except drinking. She just got more and more toxic over time, and then luckily Munchkin stopped wanting pool party sleepovers. And really didnt want a bunch of adults hanging around, either.

The last one, munchkins bff had to leave early, Toxic Troll had gone to the apartment and stayed away a very long time, so DH said, go ahead do the cake, so that the friend can have some too. Troll got angry when she finally showed at the pool, and of course had to lay into DH, because, thats what she likes to do...

It got awkward. No more mixing anything with Toxic Troll, ever again.

What a total money-grubbing tool Beaver is. No wonder GWR is a jerk - hes modeling himself after her. These BM's that are entitled, ALWAYS use their spawn in this way.

Its for the kidddds. These are our chillllllldddddreeeeennnnnnnn, our bloooooooood.

Toxic Troll does that occasionally. Right now its the bass and the amp. She wanted DH to pay for half. He gave her $20, that he had originally promised for a flute. Sorry Toxic Troll, you get child support.