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Bio and step child don't get along.

Gia's picture

I have a son who is 2.8 years old, and then I have my 6 year old Stepdaughter. My son is not my husband's bio, but he has taken care of him since we married and he was 7 months old. For the most part, he considers him "his son".

My son and stepdaughter do not get along. They can't play together without a lot of screaming, arguing, and someone (usually stepdaughter) crying and getting hurt.

A few weeks ago he gave her a very bad black eye, it wasn't playing, it was an accident in which his head hurt her browbone. Today, he threw a block at her and hurt her lip.

She is with us every weekend during school year, and about a week with us for every 3-4 days with BM during the summer.

I told DH that I need to move back to my country with my son because this isn't working. Living like this is very stressful and is not worth it. I said, "So what will be next, a broken bone?" to which he responded "if he does that I'd break his neck"... I mean seriously? No thanks, I won't stay with him with the fear of my son hurting HIS daughter and then him hurting MY son in return........

I don't know what to do. What do people do to make young siblings get along? We can try to keep them apart from each other at all times but that is stressful, and is definitely NOT how I want to live my life.

I also believe that this is only going to get worse...


StepMadre's picture

I agree! Some kids act like evil little brats and some don't. It doesn't have as much to do with age as it does parenting. My nephew, who just turned four, has always been very sweet natured, loving and generous. He has never gone through the "terrible two's" and I honestly have quite a few friends with toddlers that age who aren't bratty at all! Having worked with kids for a lot of my life and pre-school and Kinder-aged I have seen first hand how diverse kids are emotionally and behaviorally. I personally think that the phrase "terrible two's" was created by inadequate and insecure parents to make them feel better about their bratty kids and their horrible parenting.

oneoffour's picture

Think about this. He is nearly 3 and she is twice his age. She has done a lot of growing up compared to a little boy who is probably not even potty trained.

When She is 23 he will be 20, not a huge difference. But right now they are unlikely to play well together.

So what do you do when your son lashes out? Do you put him in time out for 3 minutes? What?
Your son needs to know that his behaviour is not acceptable. And if it isn't your SD it will be some other kid whose parents may well decide to claim medical costs from you.

He is behaving normally. He doesn't want his to share. He gets his toys all week and now has to share them. With some modification he will settle down.

Your DH will not break your sons neck, honestly.He is as just as frustrated as you are.