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839 pm no word from h

Fullofresentment's picture

Even though he knows I've gone home to my parents house to deal with Something horrendous. My immediate family and extended family are still so raw about my uncle and what happened and still no word from dh. Think he might have rang me today considering I was the last one who text him yesterday that he didn't reply to and no..... Nothing.... No contact... No nothing..........

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Fullofresentment's picture

Also this time last year I had found out my dh had joined a casual sex website. He had been a member for a few months and hadn't spoken to anyone and hadn't down anything but I was never able to deal with it fully because I found out on the Friday and my uncle died on the Following Wednesday night ...

Also to be completely honest, I found out on Friday day. My husband had a work event he couldn't get out of. I confronted him and he said please stay at home tonight and I will not bring ss here (we get ss every sat morn). Of course he arrived home with ss in tow so I couldn't even scream and shout like I wanted to at the time. My friend was killed in a car crash a month later. And I had shit in work. It was such a hard time I was prob a bit submissive. The fact he hadn't bothered to even ring me tonight has stirred this all up again, it makes me feel worthless.

moeilijk's picture

I think a lot of people feel worthless sometimes. Doesn't make it true. You know it's not true about you, so don't waste too much time going down that path.

Fullofresentment's picture

That's sad aswang Sad I know he's not cheating on me, but think he was potentially looking for another woman this time year. I've forgiven it to a certain extent ( much more than the fact he got bm2 pregnant) but I do not forgive him for not ringing me tonight. I excused it yesterday thinking maybe he thought id be emotional or whatever but just nothing from him.... It's do disappointing and after over 4 years with this man it makes me feel so worthless.

I guess the whole point is dh does not see sd5 because bm2 has been so crazy. If he can cut this out what the fuck am I to him??? Absolutely nothing....

Fullofresentment's picture

It's bad. If I'm honest I still check his emails every now and again which he doesn't know I do. I'm not proud of it, I never did it until after 3 years of being with dh but I have done if the past year. I'm expecting everyone to tell me how horrible and crazy I am but the truth if the matter is I did it last year because I thought something was wrong and this is what I found (even though I could actively see all he did was look at women's profiles - not contact them) I know that sounds like making excuses

Fullofresentment's picture

He always looks at my phone too... I have nothing to hide either. I just think this has brought up some feelings about last year, because I left some things go and now here I am a year later and he's still not here for me. At the end of the day (without being too morbid or upsetting) my uncle ended his life in the saddest way ever (I had only seen him a few weeks before) and mind of is ever knew. God knows what dh is even doing tonight but he certainly doesn't care how I am. I want to text him but I can't for my dignity

Fullofresentment's picture

He is I think foreverstacey. He can try and twist this all he will but I know if it was him in this situation I would have least text him to see if he was ok especially since he knows how close I am to his family. I feel he's never loved me like bm2 this is a classic example that I don't live up to her

misSTEP's picture

The sooner you get rid of this sack of crap, the sooner your own healing will begin.

What a non-supportive ass. Just that alone would be a deal breaker for me, not even mentioning the damn casual sex crap.

As has been said on this site many times, he is showing you who he IS. Believe him.

And PLEASE do not contact him

Fullofresentment's picture

Dh does not talk about Bm 2 AT ALL. Things were very nasty and they both brought each other to court several times when the baby was born. I didn't meet dh until the baby was 1/12 years of age but she blocked his way to see her. The only times she emails now is to ask for more money.

I've blogged endlessly about this because he over compensates with ss11 who we get every weekend (he treats him like a baby). He also pays more money to bm2 every month out of guilt and as a result were not living in the nicest of areas. I'm bitter. In starting a new job in 2 weeks so will have my own income coming in. I'm only 29, no baggage (thin but not toned). He used to make me feel so important and wanted - I feel like the shit off his shoe tonight

Fullofresentment's picture

I can't mention bm2. In January bm2 emailed dh saying she wanted dh to see dh5, then a day later said she was looking to leave the country in July. I told dh I would support him if he wanted to see her (also I hate her) dh has never mentioned it since and I'm scared to even though I want to because I know it would result Ina fight . dh had told me before he has felt forced into seeing sd by me in the past so now I say nothing

Fullofresentment's picture

He doesn't talk about her, it's prob all in my head. He got her pregnant after only 4 months together and she broke up with him when she was pregnant. He will always say this is the only time he can remember crying in his adult life. I guess were together 4 years and he tells me it's another 4 years until we can have a baby (It is at least 2 until I can with work). But I feel he's so careful about it that it sometimes takes the joy out of love making with my own husband because of this woman.

I don't have any of these issues with bm1 (maybe because I know her and ss). I dunno the whole thing has me questioning my sanity lol!!!! But no seriously!!

Fullofresentment's picture

I think genuinely what's happened Is I haven't been working cause I've been full time in education and he has had the full responsibility of looking after our family (which I am grateful for - even if we have been stuck in his elderly fathers house (he's 86). The fact I left him off with this, and the fact he was on these websites and that he took his son back the next day rather than tLk to me about this. The fact he puts his son before me always and I can not mention anything I'm happy with (any argument I start - dh threatens me with divorce). It can be something small like tell him in pissed off and all of a sudden he tells me he's leaving me cause why on earth would he put up with my shit... Seriously everything I typed there is the truth

Fullofresentment's picture

I just feel like all of the baggage dh brings to our relationship is no longer worth it

Fullofresentment's picture

Worst thing is I know dh won't text me tomorrow cause he will have ss so I won't hear off him until Sunday at the earliest. My confidence is at an all time low