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Tweet from my husband tonight

Fullofresentment's picture

Distance sometimes let's you know who's worth keeping and who's worth letting go

Entirely unnecessary, I've gotten the hint with the lack if contact and will be moving my stuff out of the house tomorrow. Feeling shitty Sad

Comments

Fullofresentment's picture

Smile Smile Smile

Fullofresentment's picture

The one good thing about going tomorrow to get my stuff is that he won't be there as he will be in work so hopefully I won't ever see him again. If I did a quick swift to the gonads would def be on the cards!!

oneoffour's picture

Either he is letting you know he wants you gone or he is trying to get you back now he realises he has really done it this time. I bet SS has gone home and he is lonely for company or a plaything. Buy him a 2nd hand blow up doll as a parting gift.Attach a tag "No Hard Feelings.." And see how he likes the mixed message. }:)

Fullofresentment's picture

Lol! Unfortunately he doesn't want me back. I gave tried so hard with this relationship. I should have left a year ago when I had seen he had joined a dating website (hadn't spoken to anyone) but the intent alone has made me hate him the past year, turned me into a bitch and now he hates me. The funny thing is is that I really love this man to bits, can't imagine myself being with anyone else but I don't think he's truly loved me in the past year or else he wouldn't have joined this website. I think the fact he has two BMs has also put considerable pressure on everything - it was really making me doubt my self worth for a while Sad

Fullofresentment's picture

I knew the use of unfortunately was wrong. I know I'll see that in a while just at the moment I find it hard because I miss him a lot. I know it sounds stupid but we've been married for 4 years (I always felt special because he married me not any of the BMs). I'm just watching fatal attraction now to put my problems into perspective lol

hereiam's picture

I know it still hurts, even though you know this is best. Just remember how you have felt this past year, knowing he joined that dating site and how that has made you feel towards him.

I don't want to tell you that you should hang on to anger and hate, but for now, hang on to the anger and hate!

herewegoagain's picture

They always make themselves look a victim…fu#$%$5erts they are. My ex-BIL was great at doing such a thing, when I knew very well that he was one chauvinist ahole…I don't and never did buy his BS. PS my DH seems to do the same, really? Then go f#$%ck yourself too.

Smellissa's picture

Please check out this web sight, before you give him back his house key! http://crabrevenge.com/

Also, please take his latest toy, pawn it, and spend all the money at http://poopsenders.com/

Weedkiller smiley face, shrimp in the curtain rods, poop in his pillowcase (do you own a cat or dog??), and tuna in the air duct! Biggrin

misSTEP's picture

You know, that reminds me of a story from my childhood. BFF had a horrible, horrible neighbor. BM from hell very enmeshed with her boy. To the point that we made incest jokes amongst ourselves.

Her mom & dad found a newly dead skunk roadkill and picked it up. They placed it in her a/c unit, I believe. Not sure exactly where. She had all sorts of exterminators etc there that summer and they never could find the source of that smell. HA.

Fullofresentment's picture

Ok very shocking thing just happened... Dh just rang me and apologized for his actions this week , asked me how things went with my uncles mass, said he missed my voice and that he wants to meet me for coffee in the morning...

I feel like a bitch playing withr my fathers emotions a bit now asked. I don't even know if dh wants to give it another shot. I just don't want to divorce

Poodle's picture

Try to take a step back from your situation and ask yourself why you found it "very shocking" that he just rang you and was nice. To an outsider looking at your situation from a distance as I am, that is not shocking or even unexpected, it is wholly predictable. It's potentially manipulative. Be very careful and look after yourself. If you meet, let him do ALL the talking and say nothing. I would personally not meet but if you do, use the experience as a test (without saying that's what you're doing). And say nothing, make no commitment, just listen and watch.

Fullofresentment's picture

Don't even know what to say to my father in the morning now. He will be pissed. I dunno what to do, I'm a wreck. Wish I could just move in somewhere on my own but he minimal contract I can sign is a year

JustAgirl42's picture

"you're already jumping the gun instead of planning your strategy."

How is she doing this? Did I miss something, because I don't think she's done anything yet...

hereiam's picture

Because she's already contemplating what she is going to tell her father in the morning, as in, she thinks she won't need the loan now, will not be getting her own place, he's going to be pissed (that she's staying with the asshole), etc.

Fullofresentment's picture

I am certainly not rewriting history, I know what he is done is shit but it am genuinely asking people should I just never meet my husband ever again if he is willing to go to counselling with me? Should I just give up without even seeing him ever again to hear what he has to say??

JustAgirl42's picture

I know I'm not as smart as you, but I don't need your smart-ass sympathy, thanks anyway.

Fullofresentment's picture

I'm embarrassed. I feel confused. I wish I hadn't involved my father or my sister and I feel utterly stupid and overwhelmed right now and if I'm honest a little bit relieved that he rang me. Do I suffer from low self esteem? Most probably... We haven't tried counselling? Maybe I can ask him that tomorrow ? I feel bad. I know my dad doesn't like him because of the whe bm2 situation so now I have fueled the fire in this regard

Poodle's picture

"Maybe I can ask him that tomorrow?" No. don't suggest a solution. See what he comes up with.

DPW's picture

Something I've learned in my travels with loser boyfriends....

If you can't tell your dad, your mom, your best friend - the ones you trust the most - the truth about your relationship for fear of their feedback, odds are you're in a shitty relationship. They can see it before you can see it as they are not all googly-eyed and lovestruck.

hereiam's picture

I agree with sueu2. Too little, too late.

Seriously take a look at his actions and your feelings this past year. Please don't let this one phone call cause you to make a decision you are going to regret. Please don't stay with him just because "you don't want to divorce."

Go through with your plans and if he is does want to try to make it work, make it on your terms. Make him court you again, start over. Personally, when I read about him joining the dating site, that kind of did it for me.

Fullofresentment's picture

The dating site was a year ago and he. Ever joined anything ever again. I'm not tying to make excuses because I think we have major issues but that wasn't a recent thing. I think I will just go and hear him out in the morning and see what he says

hereiam's picture

But, in your own words, you have spent the last year hating him because of that.

The thing about men who like to treat women like shit is, they like to keep them around so they have someone to treat like shit.

Now that you have made a move to change that, he has something to say?

Disneyfan's picture

THIS

Going back will just show that he can treat like this is ok. If you get upset again, all he has to do is say the right words and you will go running back. WASH, RINSE AND REPEAT.

Men like him NEED to keep a weak woman around. He knows darn well a strong woman won't put up with his crap.

Sweet T's picture

You deserve so much better. Trust me divorce sucks. I am in the midst of a nasty one, fighting for what i know is best for my son.

We make excuses for them, forgive them, believed they will change. When they tell us they will...but we deserve better.

misSTEP's picture

Shows all SORTS of immaturity. Seems like the type of man-child who would let off a loud, gross fart in an enclosed space when his wife is eating.

SMto2's picture

Omgosh. Please, please, please, go back and read all of your blogs for at least the past 2 weeks!!! I didn't know about the dating site when I said I thought he was seeing someone. It truly sounds like he just doesn't want to lose you--NOT that he wants to change! I hate to see a marriage end, so if you want to try counseling and he is willing, I can understand that. However, there are a LOT of issues that need addressed that seem insurmountable. And I bet Mr. I'm Sorry Right Now won't be willing to face or even admit any of them. That is, if he's even willing to do anything other than get you back to the point of not wanting to leave him.

sbm014's picture

**You are ignoring them and every day you ignore them is a week of recovery to tack on when you eventually leave.**

It has been a week since DH and I split and I swear I still feel weeks out from recovery. I have been physically sick because I still fought though neither of us really did anything wrong it hurts. You do not want to experience what I am.

sbm014's picture

Maybe I am being jaded but don't hear him out, move on. If you don't one day he will decide he has had his fill and you will still be sitting their alone.

I'm sure you saw my post http://www.steptalk.org/node/187977 about DH leaving me.

Don't think I didn't have signs that things were rocky, and I had my opportunities to leave considering he had major health and anger issues with his ADHD. There were times I stood by him and SS when MIL didn't even want to be near them.

I am not saying I wouldn't somewhat consider going back, or counseling because I had a true form of unconditional love and no one in my family can refute that. Heck most of his family can't even refute it.

However, I will say I wish it would have been my choice. I have not eaten in almost a week other than vitamins an the bare minimum to keep me to feel like I could keep going.

You got your family involved and now you need to really think about things. Your family is on your side, if he signed up for a dating site once would he do it again? Probably. You have already mentioned feeling of resentment and I promise you that is not a way to live.

I still somewhat pray my DH would want to turn things around as he even went so far to ask people in my family if he was hated mind you I have said nothing bad but seems like he has some care, but it would not be the same without counseling - however my DH never betrayed me with dating sites or anything of that matter -- we split because he became a oh my goodness Disney dad out of nowhere.

misSTEP's picture

Fullofresentment. You don't know me from Adam. But I have seen this again and again and again. You will take him back. He will change...for a little while. Next time you truly NEED him, he will again be the immature jackoff that he was just being. He showed you who he truly was. Now you want to let your embarrassment? Your loneliness? Your fear of being divorced pull you back into the same crap?

How many MORE years of your young life do you want to lose? Wanna have to pull out with a child next time? Because there WILL be an "again."

I have a saying that I try to live every day of my life: I'd rather be lonely than miserable

The time to get counseling was after his internet searching. This relationship is truly over. He isn't mature enough to get it. YOU ARE. You can be DONE with the hurt in a month or so. OR you can go back and allow him to hurt and mistreat you more.

Do you want a BOY or do you want a MAN??